I do everything around the house, but am exhausted.
He says that we married "....in sickness & in health" and expects me to do everything. Our family agrees that he should be in a care home due to his extensive needs & medical issues. How do I convince him?
You can outline the 2 choices for him:
1) paid in-home help that will cost $XXX much (because YOU need the help)
2) you both transition to a continuum care community where you both will get everything you need.
Tell him there is no 3rd choice and that if he doesn't give you a decision, you will make it by yourself. Then do it.
He "expects you to do "everything"" but NO ONE can do EVERYTHING!
You need to hire caregivers that will come in and help YOU.
They can help him because that IS helping you.
When it is no longer safe for him to remain at home..
When it is no longer safe for YOU for him to remain at home..
you have no other choice bit to find proper placement for him. That could be Assisted Living, Memory Care or Skilled Nursing.
This is not an easy choice/decision but it is accepting the fact that his care is more than you can manage at home.
You give no other information in your profile or in your question so his condition/diagnosis is not known to us. But if this is progressive caring for him will NOT get easier.