My husband is in denial about his mother causing him discomfort.

Did you marry this man since your last post in Jan 23????? If so, why???

Did you read the many responses or take any of the advice given to you in your Jan 23 post??

"Couples therapy" is a useless suggestion.....your partner is not part of a couple and has no interest in fixing this. Or working. How on earth are the bills getting paid???

You cannot fix something your husband and his mother do not WANT fixed. That you are still in this situation after 4 years, and possibly married now, speaks volumes about what you're willing to tolerate from this man and his mother! That your feelings are 100% disrespected is okay with you? That makes no sense to me. Because you are financially reliant on this man who'd pay you child support if you were to split is no reason to stay.

Get a job and become financially reliant on YOURSELF together with the child support your man is obliged to pay. Be strong enough to stand up for YOURSELF when nobody else will. You have no voice in your own home. How is that a healthy environment for children to witness?

See a lawyer yesterday. Find out what YOUR legal rights are and go from there. Because you have NO RIGHTS in your own home, they've been given over to a very weak man and his overbearing mother!

Please stop expecting change from a man and his mother who’ve so clearly let you know they aren’t interested in changing. You’re the outsider here, and while that’s wrong and sad, it’s still true. Get out of the whole relationship and situation. Stop being a doormat for them to walk over, think of what it’s showing your children. Time for a lawyer and sound advice. I wish you the courage and will to change your life

Please consider couples therapy. He needs to get an objective perspective on what's going on in his life, his house, his marriage. You are his priority, not his Mom. But he has to come to this conclusion himself and a good therapist will help him see this, if he's willing.

How very heartbreaking that your husband has chosen to put his mother before you, his wife. There is something so very wrong with that picture.
Why did his mother move in with you guys to begin with if she is so "able bodied"?
Sounds like perhaps your husband is a mamas boy and I can only imagine that you knew that well before you agreed to marry him, right?
It's now time to give hubby an ultimatum....either you or his mother. And if he picks you then his mother HAS to go. Period. End of sentence.
BUT....don't be too shocked if he instead chooses his mother, and at which point you then say adios, and go file for divorce.
And tell hubby and his mother that you hope that they live happily ever after!
You deserve so much better in your marriage and I'm sorry that your husband isn't man enough to give you what you need.
Please don't continue to settle for less than.

Before you do anything, make an appointment with a divorce lawyer for a consultation and find out what your rights are. You will have to have a plan of action in place for you and the kids just in case your husband chooses "mommy" over his wife and kids. Your best interests and the best interests of your kids must be protected.

After this is done and arrangements have been made, you throw down the gauntlet with your able-bodied, able-minded, senior brat MIL first by telling her to move the hell out of YOUR (and it is your house. Even if it's only in your husband's name, you have three minor children any divorce lawyer worth his salt will make sure it's YOUR house in the divorce settlement), but let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

After you'vr spoken to your MIL, you speak to your husband. You make it very plain to him that either his mother goes or his wife and kids do. This is non-negotiable and no compromise. She goes or you and the kids do.

If he chooses "mommy" over his wife and family, then do the plans you have arranged and go yourself and proceed.

You and your kids deserve better than to live in such a situation. Their father does not set a good example for them if he's disrepectful to their mother and allows grandma to also be.

You got plenty of advice to choose from. Either make a plan or choose to mess up your life.

I reread your post from May 8 when you called yourself Louisiana and said your kids were just starting high school and middle school.

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/i-feel-very-taken-advantage-of-what-is-fair-487172.htm

In this post you say your kids are "all very young" and you're kinda stuck. Being in high school and middle school means they're gone most of the day so......

Then you say "I am not on the deed to the home. I am given a set amount of money each week for all needs for my kids and all groceries and gas and all household expenses this is not much but I still am told that the reason we struggle is because I spend too much which is ridiculous and insulting considering I scrimp and save and have had to put back items at the dollar store to remain in budget while his mom goes and eats at restaurants all the time and brings home lobster and filet minions to cook for only herself."

This story you tell is getting harder and harder to comprehend, tbh. Is your husband/partner some sort of svengali or misogynist who won't put the "little woman" on the house deed, doles out a small allowance which forces you to put back items in the Dollar Store it's so small???? And who's ok with his mother bringing home a feast for herself while you all eat crumbs? 🙄

This is too unrealistic for me to absorb, OP, that you're taking this nonsense from a man and his mother, sorry. How do you "love" someone who treats you like garbage? Have enough self respect to say NO, I will not tolerate this disrespect from the man-child who is supposed to love and stand UP for me and our children.....not for one more minute. This is a prime example of when love is not enough.

If this man loves you, it's time to show it by kicking mommy out, going to his job every day, putting you on the deed, marrying you, and having a JOINT ACCOUNT where you get to spend what's REQUIRED to run the house for the family.

Personally, I'd leave, but I'd never have stood for any of this disrespect to begin with.

Good luck.

Your husband’s priority is supposed to be you, not his mother. Either your MIL leaves or you do. I think it comes down to this.

You are young, move on if you must. This sounds like a miserable existence.

Good luck!

In my generation, and I'm just a few years younger than your MIL, we have a saying that goes "Two's company, three's a crowd", and it means the third person is not welcome.

Personally, this would be a line in the sand for me. You need to decide if you're willing to go on being the third person in this relationship, because that's what it looks like from the outside looking in.

I echo the advice for couples therapy.

There is a big difference between a grown man who is kind to his mother, yet puts his wife first, and a mama's boy who won't cut the apron strings and lets his mother run his life. I would rather be single/divorced than married to a mama's boy.

Divorce him and live your life because your husband is clearly a mommas boy who refuses to work or work through his issues.