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My dad is on Effexor and it's helped him tremendously. Just do your research and talk to your doctor. He did not want to take medication at first and felt like you do, but is now convinced that it's helped. What do you have to lose?
I am sorry that your husband is depressed. I think it’s absolutely normal to get upset over legitimate concerns.
I really dislike ‘Pollyanna’ personalities. Sorry but it really works on my nerves when a person has a legitimate reason to be upset and there is a Pollyanna type person nearby with a ‘fake’ smile and doesn’t have a clue as to how this person feels. Depression is certainly real, as are many other things. There is confusion and misinformation about mental health issues.
Unfortunately, some people simply do not understand something if they have not experienced it themselves. Some people think kids with dyslexia or attention deficit disorder are daydreaming or misbehaving. They referred to them as ‘slow.’ They think people with depression need to pick themselves up by the bootstraps and carry on. They think people can eat well, exercise and take supplements and they will be fine.
While eating well, supplements and exercising is great, it isn’t a miracle cure. Sometimes depression is situational. Sometimes it is a chemical imbalance and requires medication.
There have always been stigmas concerning anyone out of the ‘mainstream’ zone. It is ridiculous.
If a person needs to see a psychiatrist, psychologist or social worker, they should go. If they need meds, they should take them. Please let’s erase the stigmas attached to these issues. This is 2020! We shouldn’t have to still be discussing these issues anymore.
Everyone needs an individual assessment of their personal needs. There isn’t a one size fits all ‘fix’ for everyone.
Do what is right for you personally! Do what you and your doctor feel is right, not what the neighbor says, not what people on a forum say, but what has been decided with you for your husband by professionals. They have extensive experience and knowledge about how to treat these situations. You need to do your part by giving feedback. A psychiatrist can’t make necessary adjustments in medications or lifestyle if they don’t have feedback from the patient or their medical POA.
All the best to you and your beloved husband. You are so sweet and thoughtful to care so much for him.
Please do self care as well. Do not neglect yourself. Patients are struggling and special. Caregivers are special! Everyone matters.
Would you give your husband medication for an infection or diabetes? Mental illness has biological repercussions. (I was going to say causes, but honestly, I'm not sure if the depression causes the biological changes or vice versa. But there are definite biological changes associated with depression.).
If you believe medication can help with physical problems, please don't discount their value with psychological problems.
You may be anti medication which is of course your personal choice but it really should be that choice for you. Depression is very encompassing. Aging of course is not ideal to put it mildly. The 2 together are difficult. If your husband might be helped by an antidepressant then I think you owe it to him to consider that.
There are numerous antidepressants available. If a doctor reviews the symptoms your husband is experiencing there might be one that could truly help him. Wouldn't you want him to feel better if possible? That should take precedence over your views regarding medications. He may not be able to make this decision at this point on his own. Putting your views of medication aside you could help him find relief possibly. You govern your own body but another person has the right to get help if possible. Hopefully a doctor could help you with that decision.
I have no advice, but I get so dismayed with the NO PSYCH MEDS EVER stance, and I see it often on here.
People are still so afraid of meds, and in some ways I understand. Psychiatric treatment alone in previous generations was regarded as something for the truly crazy... people on the streets who mumbled to themselves, or criminals.
Meds of the 50s, 60s and 70s are not how they are today. No legit doctor wants to make their patient zonked out for days. The goal is not to make someone numb or drooling in a corner. Not all meds are meant to tranquilize.
Say you get a bad cut on your leg. It starts looking a little infected. The doctor looks at it and says you need antibiotics or you're risking gangrene. Would your reply be, "Nope! I'm gonna tough this out! I don't believe in those meds! That's for weaklings and I can fix this on my own!"? Not likely.
It's the same with psych meds. If you seek help for a physical problem, no one would bat an eye. But when someone needs help for a mental problem, ooooh no. Can't talk about that.
Something has gone awry with brain chemistry and the meds can help level them out. Doesn't change who you are. Doesn't make you weak. Doesn't make you a druggie. The brain sometimes needs help to "heal", and it's no fun for the depressed person to feel crappy either. Why would anyone just automatically refuse the help they need?
Depression is common in people with dementia. I'd suggest first speaking with his PCP who hopefully has already started him on Aricept or another medication for dementia. If he/she isn't sure, I suggest taking him to see either a geriatrician or a geriatric psychiatrist. The latter would probably be your best resource of all. Why allow him to be more anxious, upset, or depressed if a simple medication can help this condition. Dementia presently can't be cured or for that matter, even very well managed for long periods of time. Now depression, that can be controlled with medication and/or psychotherapy to the point that it is very well controlled. Please note, just because an individual is started on an anti-depressant doesn't mean they will need to continue on it for life. If your husband has never had issues with depression before in his life, he may only need to be on the medication for 6 to 9 months and then he can be tapered off of it. Though considering he also has the dementia diagnosis, if he's feeling significantly better on the medication and there are no or minimal side effects, you may want to just let him stay on it. Why be miserable when there are medications and treatments that have been proven to help this condition? Lastly, if you are so totally against medication (I'm assuming you mean medications in general and not just medications for depression.) and your husband feels (or has felt this way in the past) the same way, there are herbal medications such as St. John's Wart and SAME (I think, might also be a number with that.) which are available over the counter or at a nutrition store. I would advise just as with starting any medication, consult first with a health care provider (not including the "specialist" in the nutrition store). A naturopath or ND is a doctor with medical training who prescribes only herbal-type medications. He/she may be able to offer help w/o the use of traditional anti-depressants. Personally, I encourage my patients and/or family members and caregivers to try. The best thing that can happen is a desired result and (short of taking an overdose), the worst thing is that the patient develops intolerable side effects or there is no change in condition and you're back to the drawing board and the medication is discontinued. PLEASE note, anti-depressants should never be stopped abruptly except under the advice of a health care professional as a rebound effect can occur and this can be very serious.
My whole goal for my Elderly Mother with FTD, is to do everything that I can to make her life pleasant. She starting with the depression, the beginning of the third year. Was grumpy, complaining, negative. Her traveling nurse recommended that I try a low dose antidepressant. We did it on a trial basis. She started with 10 milagrams of Celexa, then over time went up to 20 mg. It has made all the difference in her mood, also reduced her high anxiety. Takes several weeks to kick in. It was a God send for her!!
Everybdy , pleasectry to rememberthat nobody; absolutely nobody has ever had a happy and painfree life. that just does not ever happen.We live in a cursed and fallen world. However, it is a world that does still have some of the beauties and joys God originally gave to it. Also, with his help, we can overcomethe many adversities at least partially.We can avoid a lot of suffering just by never evervtaking statins, antidepressants, strong diuretics,or any other dangerous things.Also, wecan help ourselves a lot by taking sublingual B12 every day and eating a lot of magnesium rich foods every day.Just try it. You canlose nothing by just trying really good food and extra sublingualB12.These things cannot possibly harm you.Eating a whole egg every day and drinking milk or eating yogurtvdaily can do no harm either. Just try it. You may be surprised. Remember, it has to be daily.God bless you every one!
You are not specific about what signs he is showing. With Alzheimer's, it's like someone's mind gets unwired. My mother has it and she has had a slow decline from being a smart, capable and creative person to someone who needs total care, like an infant. She was having anxiety and not sleeping well. Her doctor prescribed Melatonin, which has no bad side effects and calms people down. She takes it every day. Talk to his doctor about whether stronger medications are recommended.
For OP - given AD, you'll have to work with his doctors. Hopefully there is a specialist involved, not just PCP. They can recommend the best treatment (for someone without AD, one could try counseling, but that doesn't work very well for those with any kind of dementia.) Talk with pharmacist about any medication suggested - they know more about meds than most doctors. They would also know what to watch for (the paperwork lists a lot of issues, but it may not catch them all, so do some online lookup too!) Be sure to check my final thoughts below regarding UTI - it could be important!
There is no "one size fits all" in medication and no way to know beforehand if medication will cause a problem in any specific person who takes it. Some medications work for some people, even those with the same affliction, but other times doesn't work for others who have a similar issue. Some medications help a bit, while some/same ones cause more problems. It may become a trial and error before you find the right one.
Work with his docs to see what might work. Depression is a terrible thing and if there is any way to alleviate it, I would change my tune (I also prefer not to take medications unless there is no other option.) Monitor him carefully when he starts on any medication and consult with doc/pharmacist before stopping them if there appears to be an issue (some medication require "weaning" off rather than just stopping them.)
They used an anti-anxiety when we moved mom to MC, but only 1 Rx, no refill. Later we did have to get it again, minimal dose both times, during a UTI which caused some serious sun-downing for her! The nice thing about this med is the results are first time, every time, and no need to wean off it, plus it was just enough to take the "edge" off, not dope her.
Now that I mentioned UTI - it sounds crazy sometimes when we mention this, but DO have him checked. UTIs in elders, and esp those with dementia, cause some really odd manifestations!!! Mom's first UTI at MC was the sundowning. Second and third, nighttime bed-wetting!!! After UTI was treated, all was good again!
"If the person has a sudden and unexplained change in their behaviour, such as increased confusion, agitation, or withdrawal, this may be because of a UTI."
Withdrawal maybe part of this depression he's having? When you ask for UTI test (you can start with a home test), be sure to request a culture test, not just the dip-stick test.
BTW, when I first joined this forum and read so many suggesting test for UTI, I was skeptical... until it happened to my mother. DO take this seriously. It may not be UTI, but it is easy and quick enough to rule it out!!!
I hear you about medications - many people feel like you do. I do think that in some cases, medication is a must - what kind, etc. is up to the medical people and the individual's body. Sometimes you have to do some trial and error methods until you find the right item. Good luck. Just make sure you have good doctors who have good reputations and are the right ones to choose the correct methods for help.
Yes my husband is on anti-depressants as well as dementia related medicines. But he has always suffered from bouts of depression, and when the doctors tried to take him off lithium he became extremely depressed again. Personally I believe anti depressants can be helpful, if used with caution and if all your medicines are prescribed/approved by your husband's neurologist.
You’re wise to take that stance. As we age we wind up on so many “why not” meds, drugs that are prescribed because they ‘might’ help that then just get added to the pillbox forever.
But, he shouldn’t suffer unnecessarily. Try an anti-depressant. Look for effectiveness. Look for side effects. If it works well, stick with it. If not, try another.
Regularly take a look at all the drugs and ask the doctor what is the goal for each one.
In order to live useful productive lives and to be as healthy as possible in an imperfect world, we absolutely must be very "judgy". However, we must try with God's help and by his grace to be "judgy only of choices and actionswe take; never "judgy" of people . Personally, I am so very very glad our wonderful God forbids me to judge people but reserves that right always only to himself. Do not ever ever be condemning toward youself and do not ever think I am condemning anyone.Just accept what I believe is excellent advice or reject it. Do not ever reject your precious self; also, know I am definitely not at al ever rejecting nor criticizing you; never ever. I loveyou and God loves you I would never ever say to you that you are suffering because of anything you hav ever done. I have suffered a lot very temporarily for never longer than about 2 years.I do not understand howor why I was delivered from suffering. I am just grateful; and I am just trusting God. I do not understand all the mysteries of life nor does anyone other than the creator of all.I do understand a lot about medicine and nutrition because of my experiences and long term research.I do not have all the answers.
I think your anti-medication approach is a good one.
Because you are rightfully cautious, talk to the doctor about very mild alternatives.
It takes 6 weeks for the medications to take effect, so if things got worse and you were to have a crisis, you could have a long wait for relief.
Weigh the side effects and consider drug interactions (with other meds), but also consider side effects to unmanaged mental illness (such as heightened blood pressure).
Dear MDkid, Thank you for being kind about my very extreme remarks. Please believe that they are meant lovingly. I do indeed know how very blessed I am to have had awonderful loving mother and father.However, difficult as it may be for you to believe it, they were indeed very typical of their wonderful generation.Most rural people(possibly all of them) in the 30's grew up just like i did.I am not sure about city people. I do know that in those days all of America was mostly rural.I wish people could live healthier and happier lives today.I am trying to do my part to increase health and hsppiness. I do not feel at al critical of those who are makingunhealthy choices. I truly just want to help anybody I can. i especially want to try to discourage the taking of harmful so called meds( and I do not mean all meds are bad). Love to all
We live in an era when there are many medications to improve a person's quality of life. If an anti-depressant will help a person, why not administer it?
Sometimes it takes a bit of "trial and error" to find one that works for a particular patient. But when the correct medication is discovered, a person's life can improve immensely.
You need to find a psychiatrist who is experienced in working with elderly clients and their medications.
Bobbie- I truly am happy for you that you have had a depression and pain free life. You do know that you are HIGHLY unusual in that, right?
I know that I do eat healthily, (as many people with depression do!) I don't drink, smoke or even drink coffee. I take a good multivitamin each day. I have had years of therapy (again, as many people with depression have done).
One things that was absolutely of NO help to me when I was suffering was people who 'knew it all' and told me in no uncertain terms that I needed to just do A, B, and C and my life would be like theirs. Talking to someone who is mentally ill--those kinds of brushoffs are PAINFUL.
I think each individual needs to have a good evalation done and medicines prescribed if needed. I have been off and on Zoloft for years. Am now on a small maintenance dose, but during this quarantine, I had to go back up. AND THERE IS NO SHAME IN THAT.
I know you meant well, but you were blessed with a good immune system, a body that doesn't hurt all the time and a loving upbringing.
Many of us did not have that.
And I DID try vitamin supplements and potions of all sorts. What finally did the trick was replenishing my brain wiht the chemicals it simply DID NOT MAKE anymore.
For people who are suffering, and I mean SUFFERING, hearing how healthy someone 20+ years their senior is living an amazingly healthy life--it doesn't HELP. Just makes us want to crawl back into our shells.
I know you meant well. It was your kind of 'judgy' that almost made me take my own life. I actually had someone tell me I was probably suffering from some un-repented sins--that was the cause of my illnesss.
Uh, no.
Nobody can go back and change how they were raised or change their basic physical and mental state. They can work on it, and trust me, we DO.
I'm glad for you, but sad for the folks who read your post and felt worse.
As a retired psychiatric nurse, I appreciated your statement that: "What finally did the trick was replenishing my brain with the chemicals it simply DID NOT MAKE anymore."
Prior to the invention of psychotropic drugs, people with severe mental illness, such as Schizophrenia, were confined to insane asylums, chained naked to bedposts.
We know now that Schizophrenia involves a brain chemistry imbalance. Once we give a person with this disease the correct combination of brain chemicals, their symptoms resolve. A similar thing is true of other psychiatric illnesses, such as Bipolar Disorder.
I have some well-meaning friends who "assume" that if a person suffers from mental illness, that they are either not "eating right" or they are not "right with God."
In reality, mental illness is an equal opportunity employer that does not discriminate. It affects persons of faith and persons of no faith alike.
I kept my husband of 52 years home for nearly 11 years with Alzheimer's and Alzheimer's-induced Schizophrenia. HORRIBLE COMBINATION. During part of that time his family doctor prescribed Aricept and Zoloft. It truly made him WORSE. He reacted very poorly to those meds. I had a hard time convincing the doctor it made him worse.
A few months ago I had to put him in a memory facility. I, just like you, planned from the get-go to keep him home with me. However, it got to the point I could not handle him. He became a danger for me. In the facility, he is on 200 mg./day of Seroquel. They keep upping the dosage because he is agitated and confrontational. I don't think it has made him less depressed.
Personally, I don't know of anything that helps. Not a good outlook, I realize, but it's just the truth. I wish you the very best. Keep the faith!
So called "sad" is really vitamin D deficiency pluspossibly other deficiencies. Fresh air is essential. Sunshine is not except of course for plants. Because we are so extremely fair , my Mama kept us out of the sun. She gave us a tablespoon of cod liver oil laced with fruit juice every day. However, ther is a lot of D in whole eggs, salmon, and other foods.It is deficiency of D and not lack of sun that causes problems.
Depression has nothing at all to do with feeling "sad." It is like a black hole from which a person cannot crawl out. Unless you have experienced yourself, you would not know what it is like.
While vitamins are necessary for good health, plenty of people do everything right, including getting plenty of Vitamin D - but still suffer from severe depression.
I also was not one to give medications if it were not necessary. That said I did have my Husband on a medication to calm his anxiety. Funny thing with his Dementia (Alzheimer's and I think Vascular) he was pretty much nonverbal so there was really no way to tell how he was feeling at any given time other than the noises he made. When he went on Hospice we discontinued the Aricept and the Statin he was on. Hospice had him on Seroquel for the anxiety. Did it work? Can't say with 100% confidence if it did or didn't and if it did to what extent. He still made noises that may or may not have had to do with anxiety. If you decide to try an antidepressant there are a lot and it may take a while to find the right one and the right dose to be effective for your husband. So do't give up. If your husband can communicate what is going on great. In this journey you are taking with your husband and this disease you are going to be giving medications that you never thought you would. A person in one of my support groups did not want to give her husband the Morphine that Hospice had suggested but she complained that he could not breathe. I suggested that maybe the reason he could not breathe was that he was so constricted, the muscles were so tight he could not get a breath. When I suggested she give him the Morphine as prescribed so that he would relax the muscles so he could breathe she still refused. I guess what I am trying to say is...Use what is available it can make your husbands life as well as your life easier.
While I agree that taking your husband to a psychologist is a good idea for me it would not have worked since he was non verbal. For your husband it will depend on how much and how well he can communicate and answer questions.
I am 86 yearsold, strong, healthy, med free, and pain free.I have never suffered from depression. I was very blessed to have a highly intelligent loving mother who had access to the wonderful bookmobile for research and entertainment, clean air, clean pure water, fresh eggs, whole milk from healthy pasture fed cows, and other blessings.Rural life in the 30's was very challenging and difficult, but my Mama was equal to it.No electricity, no indoor plumbing, no auto,; but i was unaware we were deprived. For me and the many others like me life was fun, fun, fun.I fully realize now how incredibly resilient and truly heroic my parents and others of their generation really were.Whether cooking beans, cornbread, and home grown and or preserved fruits and veggies or playing and dancing with her chilfren; boiling her sheets, etc in a big iron pot over a wood fire, fishing them out with a broom handle, wring and rinsing by hand, and hanging them on a line, etc. etc. O how thankful I am for my mother.She was never depressed nor am I.She did believe in doctors. We were seldom ill, but when I had an earache she took me to town on the milk truck. An excellent doctor lanced my ear and gave us sulfa medicine.Antibiotics were not yet available.Vaccinnations were. A bexar County health nurse cameto our rural school and vaccinnated us against small pox, diphtheria, and whoopng cough.No elderly people ever had dementia. Thankfully, "antidepressants nor statins had yet been invented.
Bobbie - it is NOT true that elderly people did not have dementia back then. There was plenty of it around; they called it "senility." Some of my ancestors definitely had it.
I'm glad life was "fun" for you; but you may be viewing things through rose-colored glasses. One thing that likely made your life more "fun" was that you seemed to have plenty of food available to your family. (I suspect that you lived on a farm.) By contrast, plenty of city folks during the depression nearly starved to death; life was definitely not "fun" for them.
I agree with other posts here: please please take your husband to a psychiatrist. They will tell you what the problem is.
Your stance against medication should only be the reason for you not to take medication, but not for your husband. Let him benefit from the miracles of medication.
When my husband found out he had early Alzheimer’s he became very depressed which was exhibited by anger towards me. It was so bad that I was preparing to leave him. He also had suicidal thoughts. He started on Zoloft and it has helped him tremendously. For whatever it’s worth I am an RN and work on a unit that specializes in geriatric psych. Of which many carry dementia diagnosis’s. Hope this helps.
Let me be direct. It doesn't matter what you would do, or what others would do, or, frankly, whether you are or are not against anti-depressants.
Please take your husband to a psychiatrist and/or a geriatrician (you don't specify his age, but this is agingcare.com).
Depression is both psychically and physically painful- I can attest to this and would be glad to share more details with you. Depression also causes suffering.
Yes, I am strong in my thoughts about depression, having suffered from it since childhood.
Why would you deprive someone of relief from suffering?
Most depression is caused by severe malnutritionprimarily dangerously low levels of B12 and or magnesium. The malnutrition is usually caused by drugs that interfere with the processing of nutrients in the body.Most depression can be cured by a cessation of nutrition draining drugs plus daily consumption of magnesium rich foods such as nuts and spinach and daily sublingual B12.Often just sublingual B12 will give at least some immediate relief to severe depression, panic attacks, and other nervous system problems.Everybody should avoid strong diuretics, statins or any other nutrition destroying substances.Metformin, celebrex, and all so called antidepressants are also very mentally and physically damaging.I am not saying all meds are bad;not at all. Everybody benefits from antibiotics to cure infectionsSome vaccinnes such as for polio and small pox are absolutely wonderful.Some narcotics are great for very short term pain relief and or for necessary surgery.I am just pleading for doctorts and patients to be aware of the grave dangers od some so called meds.I am urgiing all who are feeling depressed to take daily sublingual B12 and to eat daily lots of magnesium rich foods. It is also important to eat at least one or more whole eggs every day and to drink a lot of whole milk unless you arelactose intolerantA variety of home grown and or organic fruite, berrie, and veggies are also essential.
I am currently caring for my nearly 89 year old mother in my home. She has been on antidepressants since January. She told the doctor she felt depressed, so he wrote her a prescription. I see no difference in her since last Fall. We have tried to change the dosage, but it doesn't help. I question whether she should even take them. She sleeps 16-18 hours a day. It's ridiculous. She is having memory problems as well. With this virus happening now, all forms of evaluations are on hold. It's maddening. I've been told it can take 5-6 tries to find the "right" antidepressant as everyone is different. That could take a long time! Good luck.
Binlme what do you mean by "She sleeps 16-18 hours a day. It's ridiculous."? Do you feel the medication is causing her to sleep so much? Or do you feel she should not be sleeping so much?
Dad is 91 a stroke survivor and he easily sleeps 18 hours a day. 12 hours at night and multiple naps during the day. We do not think it is excessive. He also exercises daily, keeps up with the news, does work puzzles and manages his ADLs. If he has an outing one day, he needs 2 days to recover now.
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I really dislike ‘Pollyanna’ personalities. Sorry but it really works on my nerves when a person has a legitimate reason to be upset and there is a Pollyanna type person nearby with a ‘fake’ smile and doesn’t have a clue as to how this person feels. Depression is certainly real, as are many other things. There is confusion and misinformation about mental health issues.
Unfortunately, some people simply do not understand something if they have not experienced it themselves. Some people think kids with dyslexia or attention deficit disorder are daydreaming or misbehaving. They referred to them as ‘slow.’ They think people with depression need to pick themselves up by the bootstraps and carry on. They think people can eat well, exercise and take supplements and they will be fine.
While eating well, supplements and exercising is great, it isn’t a miracle cure. Sometimes depression is situational. Sometimes it is a chemical imbalance and requires medication.
There have always been stigmas concerning anyone out of the ‘mainstream’ zone. It is ridiculous.
If a person needs to see a psychiatrist, psychologist or social worker, they should go. If they need meds, they should take them. Please let’s erase the stigmas attached to these issues. This is 2020! We shouldn’t have to still be discussing these issues anymore.
Everyone needs an individual assessment of their personal needs. There isn’t a one size fits all ‘fix’ for everyone.
Do what is right for you personally! Do what you and your doctor feel is right, not what the neighbor says, not what people on a forum say, but what has been decided with you for your husband by professionals. They have extensive experience and knowledge about how to treat these situations. You need to do your part by giving feedback. A psychiatrist can’t make necessary adjustments in medications or lifestyle if they don’t have feedback from the patient or their medical POA.
All the best to you and your beloved husband. You are so sweet and thoughtful to care so much for him.
Please do self care as well. Do not neglect yourself. Patients are struggling and special. Caregivers are special! Everyone matters.
If you believe medication can help with physical problems, please don't discount their value with psychological problems.
There are numerous antidepressants available. If a doctor reviews the symptoms your husband is experiencing there might be one that could truly help him. Wouldn't you want him to feel better if possible? That should take precedence over your views regarding medications. He may not be able to make this decision at this point on his own. Putting your views of medication aside you could help him find relief possibly. You govern your own body but another person has the right to get help if possible. Hopefully a doctor could help you with that decision.
People are still so afraid of meds, and in some ways I understand. Psychiatric treatment alone in previous generations was regarded as something for the truly crazy... people on the streets who mumbled to themselves, or criminals.
Meds of the 50s, 60s and 70s are not how they are today. No legit doctor wants to make their patient zonked out for days. The goal is not to make someone numb or drooling in a corner. Not all meds are meant to tranquilize.
Say you get a bad cut on your leg. It starts looking a little infected. The doctor looks at it and says you need antibiotics or you're risking gangrene. Would your reply be, "Nope! I'm gonna tough this out! I don't believe in those meds! That's for weaklings and I can fix this on my own!"? Not likely.
It's the same with psych meds. If you seek help for a physical problem, no one would bat an eye. But when someone needs help for a mental problem, ooooh no. Can't talk about that.
Something has gone awry with brain chemistry and the meds can help level them out. Doesn't change who you are. Doesn't make you weak. Doesn't make you a druggie. The brain sometimes needs help to "heal", and it's no fun for the depressed person to feel crappy either. Why would anyone just automatically refuse the help they need?
She starting with the depression, the beginning of the third year. Was grumpy, complaining, negative. Her traveling nurse recommended that I try a low dose antidepressant. We did it on a trial basis. She started with 10 milagrams of Celexa, then
over time went up to 20 mg.
It has made all the difference in her mood, also reduced her high anxiety. Takes several weeks to kick in. It was a God send for her!!
There is no "one size fits all" in medication and no way to know beforehand if medication will cause a problem in any specific person who takes it. Some medications work for some people, even those with the same affliction, but other times doesn't work for others who have a similar issue. Some medications help a bit, while some/same ones cause more problems. It may become a trial and error before you find the right one.
Work with his docs to see what might work. Depression is a terrible thing and if there is any way to alleviate it, I would change my tune (I also prefer not to take medications unless there is no other option.) Monitor him carefully when he starts on any medication and consult with doc/pharmacist before stopping them if there appears to be an issue (some medication require "weaning" off rather than just stopping them.)
They used an anti-anxiety when we moved mom to MC, but only 1 Rx, no refill. Later we did have to get it again, minimal dose both times, during a UTI which caused some serious sun-downing for her! The nice thing about this med is the results are first time, every time, and no need to wean off it, plus it was just enough to take the "edge" off, not dope her.
Now that I mentioned UTI - it sounds crazy sometimes when we mention this, but DO have him checked. UTIs in elders, and esp those with dementia, cause some really odd manifestations!!! Mom's first UTI at MC was the sundowning. Second and third, nighttime bed-wetting!!! After UTI was treated, all was good again!
FROM:
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/daily-living/urinary-tract-infections-utis-dementia
"If the person has a sudden and unexplained change in their behaviour, such as increased confusion, agitation, or withdrawal, this may be because of a UTI."
Withdrawal maybe part of this depression he's having? When you ask for UTI test (you can start with a home test), be sure to request a culture test, not just the dip-stick test.
BTW, when I first joined this forum and read so many suggesting test for UTI, I was skeptical... until it happened to my mother. DO take this seriously. It may not be UTI, but it is easy and quick enough to rule it out!!!
Personally I believe anti depressants can be helpful, if used with caution and if all your medicines are prescribed/approved by your husband's neurologist.
Good luck.
But, he shouldn’t suffer unnecessarily. Try an anti-depressant. Look for effectiveness. Look for side effects. If it works well, stick with it. If not, try another.
Regularly take a look at all the drugs and ask the doctor what is the goal for each one.
Because you are rightfully cautious, talk to the doctor about very mild alternatives.
It takes 6 weeks for the medications to take effect, so if things got worse and you were to have a crisis, you could have a long wait for relief.
Weigh the side effects and consider drug interactions (with other meds), but also consider side effects to unmanaged mental illness (such as heightened blood pressure).
Sometimes it takes a bit of "trial and error" to find one that works for a particular patient. But when the correct medication is discovered, a person's life can improve immensely.
You need to find a psychiatrist who is experienced in working with elderly clients and their medications.
I truly am happy for you that you have had a depression and pain free life. You do know that you are HIGHLY unusual in that, right?
I know that I do eat healthily, (as many people with depression do!) I don't drink, smoke or even drink coffee. I take a good multivitamin each day. I have had years of therapy (again, as many people with depression have done).
One things that was absolutely of NO help to me when I was suffering was people who 'knew it all' and told me in no uncertain terms that I needed to
just do A, B, and C and my life would be like theirs. Talking to someone who is mentally ill--those kinds of brushoffs are PAINFUL.
I think each individual needs to have a good evalation done and medicines prescribed if needed. I have been off and on Zoloft for years. Am now on a small maintenance dose, but during this quarantine, I had to go back up. AND THERE IS NO SHAME IN THAT.
I know you meant well, but you were blessed with a good immune system, a body that doesn't hurt all the time and a loving upbringing.
Many of us did not have that.
And I DID try vitamin supplements and potions of all sorts. What finally did the trick was replenishing my brain wiht the chemicals it simply DID NOT MAKE anymore.
For people who are suffering, and I mean SUFFERING, hearing how healthy someone 20+ years their senior is living an amazingly healthy life--it doesn't HELP. Just makes us want to crawl back into our shells.
I know you meant well. It was your kind of 'judgy' that almost made me take my own life. I actually had someone tell me I was probably suffering from some un-repented sins--that was the cause of my illnesss.
Uh, no.
Nobody can go back and change how they were raised or change their basic physical and mental state. They can work on it, and trust me, we DO.
I'm glad for you, but sad for the folks who read your post and felt worse.
As a retired psychiatric nurse, I appreciated your statement that: "What finally did the trick was replenishing my brain with the chemicals it simply DID NOT MAKE anymore."
Prior to the invention of psychotropic drugs, people with severe mental illness, such as Schizophrenia, were confined to insane asylums, chained naked to bedposts.
We know now that Schizophrenia involves a brain chemistry imbalance. Once we give a person with this disease the correct combination of brain chemicals, their symptoms resolve. A similar thing is true of other psychiatric illnesses, such as Bipolar Disorder.
I have some well-meaning friends who "assume" that if a person suffers from mental illness, that they are either not "eating right" or they are not "right with God."
In reality, mental illness is an equal opportunity employer that does not discriminate. It affects persons of faith and persons of no faith alike.
A few months ago I had to put him in a memory facility. I, just like you, planned from the get-go to keep him home with me. However, it got to the point I could not handle him. He became a danger for me. In the facility, he is on 200 mg./day of Seroquel. They keep upping the dosage because he is agitated and confrontational. I don't think it has made him less depressed.
Personally, I don't know of anything that helps. Not a good outlook, I realize, but it's just the truth. I wish you the very best. Keep the faith!
While vitamins are necessary for good health, plenty of people do everything right, including getting plenty of Vitamin D - but still suffer from severe depression.
That said I did have my Husband on a medication to calm his anxiety. Funny thing with his Dementia (Alzheimer's and I think Vascular) he was pretty much nonverbal so there was really no way to tell how he was feeling at any given time other than the noises he made.
When he went on Hospice we discontinued the Aricept and the Statin he was on. Hospice had him on Seroquel for the anxiety.
Did it work? Can't say with 100% confidence if it did or didn't and if it did to what extent. He still made noises that may or may not have had to do with anxiety.
If you decide to try an antidepressant there are a lot and it may take a while to find the right one and the right dose to be effective for your husband. So do't give up. If your husband can communicate what is going on great.
In this journey you are taking with your husband and this disease you are going to be giving medications that you never thought you would.
A person in one of my support groups did not want to give her husband the Morphine that Hospice had suggested but she complained that he could not breathe. I suggested that maybe the reason he could not breathe was that he was so constricted, the muscles were so tight he could not get a breath. When I suggested she give him the Morphine as prescribed so that he would relax the muscles so he could breathe she still refused.
I guess what I am trying to say is...Use what is available it can make your husbands life as well as your life easier.
While I agree that taking your husband to a psychologist is a good idea for me it would not have worked since he was non verbal. For your husband it will depend on how much and how well he can communicate and answer questions.
I'm glad life was "fun" for you; but you may be viewing things through rose-colored glasses. One thing that likely made your life more "fun" was that you seemed to have plenty of food available to your family. (I suspect that you lived on a farm.) By contrast, plenty of city folks during the depression nearly starved to death; life was definitely not "fun" for them.
Your stance against medication should only be the reason for you not to take medication, but not for your husband. Let him benefit from the miracles of medication.
Please take your husband to a psychiatrist and/or a geriatrician (you don't specify his age, but this is agingcare.com).
Depression is both psychically and physically painful- I can attest to this and would be glad to share more details with you. Depression also causes suffering.
Yes, I am strong in my thoughts about depression, having suffered from it since childhood.
Why would you deprive someone of relief from suffering?
Dad is 91 a stroke survivor and he easily sleeps 18 hours a day. 12 hours at night and multiple naps during the day. We do not think it is excessive. He also exercises daily, keeps up with the news, does work puzzles and manages his ADLs. If he has an outing one day, he needs 2 days to recover now.