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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Caregivers and patient(s) would benefit by a doctor who knows depression. Not only are the medications available but there are things you can do yourself. Google and do some research. My husband was diagnosed 11 years ago with Alz by a neurologist - our family MD believes it might be Cardiovascular Dementia - either way he started on a low doze of an anti-depressant early on, and after all this time we just had to bump it up a little.
Know the side effects because what works for one might not be the best one to work for the patient. I am assuming he has dementia of some sort. All medicines need to be taken with supervision. We never told my husband that he is on it. We just added it to the meds he takes for the dementia.
I am allergic to anti-depressants and I use non-medical ways to help myself. Keep posting and you will find a lot of support. Lynina 2 is right about keeping an eye on what meds are used and their side effects.
I am glad that anti-depressants have helped so many. I would say, if they are suggested and you've tried all other non-medical therapies, try it. But, my mother was prescribed Zoloft. At first, she seemed ok and also appeared to be less OCD. However, after about 5 weeks, she began to have terrible nausea and neurological problems like side-to-side head motion and tongue thrusting. After two trips to the hospital, it was seen that her sodium level was becoming too low. The IV at the hospital would fix it, but it wouldn't last. The hospitalist felt it was the Zoloft, reduced her dose, and discharged her to nursing home with the directive to either cut dose in half again or stop drug altogether in two weeks. I had to argue with the nursing home doctor because he didn't want to stop the drug. In my opinion, mom lost two months and valuable ground in recovering from a fractured hip because of the Zoloft. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that people react to drugs in entirely different ways. I know people who take Zoloft without a problem! But for mom it was like poison. The regular literature for the medication doesn't highlight mom's reaction but when I read forums surrounding side effects, it was clearly there. You know your parent better than anyone, so just be vigilant so that if and when your mom tries a new drug (particularly this type of drug that changes behavior), you can recognize negative reactions and communicate these observations to the doctor.
Although personally I prefer to work around taking medication, sometimes it is a necessary evil. However, someone needs to monitor anyone taking medications of any kind, because while many medications can help treat many conditions, sometimes there are those who cannot take them. It is the worst when it happens to someone who can't speak for themselves!
While in hospital for torn esophagus (therefore NOTHING by mouth, not even medications), they were shooting me with Heparin every day. I generally have no problem with needles, but THOSE were painful! Back of one arm had to be bandaged, the other looked like black marbles from elbow to armpit. Doc from hematology came to my room and explained that when I came into the hospital, my platelet count was fine, but has since shot sky high... Well, considering the only things going into me are what hospital employees put in me, figure it out!!! Unable to take another shot in the arm, I opted for the abdomen... Hematoma!!! Heparin shots stopped at that point and guess what??? Platelet count returned to normal.
Heparin has been around a long long time and generally if there is an issue it is the opposite of what happened to me - platelets drop too low. So, clearly this is something that must NOT be used on me again. I report it whenever asked about allergies to medications. Who knows what else might cause problems for me??? I also refused Fosamax after doing lookup/reading about the "side effects" - yikes!!!
My mother hated taking any kind of pill. When she as diagnosed in 2011 with Alzheimer’s, she would not take the medicine her doctor prescribed to her. She remained very active and mobile but fell over the dog in 2016 and broke her hip. She recovered nicely but it really accelerated her dementia and the result was she became very depressed. Her doctor prescribed Lexapro (anti-depressant) and two monrhs later also prescribed Zyprexa (anti-paychiotic). Did I mention she is still at home? Without these medications I don’t know where we would be. Regarding your husband, you did not state if he had any type of medical diagnosis. My account was what we did for my mother. Obviously it is based on individual needs. I wish you both well!
equestrienne, I do not have any personal experience with depression but I am of the same mind when it comes to medications. I was having trouble accepting my MIL's use of hydrocodone for back pain when she was in physical rehab, but then the doctor made it more palatable by explaining my MIL won't do the PT if she is in pain, therefore the meds are necessary. I would look at depression the same way: the depressed person cannot really move forward without getting at least some of the depression out of the way. I hope this helps, and wishing you much success in supporting your husband through his challenges.
For all the caregivers, staying at home and isolated, here are some signs of depression: 1. Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation. 2. Loss of interest in daily activities. You don’t care anymore about former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex. You’ve lost your ability to feel joy and pleasure. 3. Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month. 4. Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping. 5. Anger or irritability. Feeling agitated, restless, or even violent. Your tolerance level is low, your temper short, and everything and everyone gets on your nerves. 6. Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued, sluggish, and physically drained. Your whole body may feel heavy, and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete. 7. Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. You harshly criticize yourself for perceived faults and mistakes. 8. Reckless behavior. You engage in escapist behavior such as substance abuse, compulsive gambling, reckless driving, or dangerous sports. 9. Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things. 10. Unexplained aches and pains. An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain.
The SILENCE is deafening. It says: "So what else is new (besides the Covid-19!), either me or the person I am caring for has many of these symptoms over this past year, (or more).
Sometimes, I have to take a step back, put my strong personal preferences and my own experiences aside when it comes to anyone else's healthcare but my own. It is a greater challenge when having responsibility for a family member as a caregiver.
There are other treatments for depression, but if a person needs medication, those other treatments will not work. imo. Medication used in combination with therapy and other treatments does help depression.
You are part of the healthcare team (along with his doctor) so your input will be invaluable, and you are in a perfect position to monitor your husband's response to treatment. As long as he has the right doctor, and the doctor is recommending medication, try that.
Good question Equestrienne, because I was just thinking what to do if my husband is now depressed. Watching a movie in tears unexplained, unable to perform regular chores, growling from irritability, sleeping too much....
What are your husband's symptoms? Has he been to the doctor?
If I had notmhad antidepressants and anti anxiety meds 20 years ago, I would not be here today! Without a shadow of a doubt I would have taken my own life, I was so unbearably depressed/anxious.
Nothing I 'did' or 'caused' to have happen, I simply was worn to a nub with my family and DH and living in a very small homw wiht TOO MANY RESPONSIBILITIES. I had an emergency choleocystectomy and didn'd do well wiht the anesthesia--and couldn't get back to 'normal', I got really, really sick before I told my DH that I was miserable and going to take my own life.
Hot footed it to the hospital where I was dxed with severe depression/anxiety.
Probably had it all my life, but the surgery caught me off guard and I didn't have any reserves of emotional strength.
A good psych doc and patience brought me back slowly to 'myself'.
I don't think AD's are the answer for everyone. But for me, a godsend.
MY brain was 'broken' and as I got better, I also gained a LOT of empathy for people who struggle.
Would you withhold insulin from a diabetic? Antibiotics from someone with strep throat? No. And I would not withhold AD's or benzos from someone who was suffering from mental issues.
After 2 heart attacks within a week, Dh was prescribed AD's--either he take something for his chronic depression or I was leaving him. (Long backstory). He really DID have a choice---but he chose to have me stay and the AD's work and continue to work and he is better.
I hoped the stigma of 'mental health meds' had gotten less over the years. I have been very upfront about my battle wiht depressin and it's comorbid friend, anxiety. Esp now as we are facing an uncertain time--if I KNEW that we'd be back to 'normal' by,say, May 15th,. it would really, really help my anxiety. As it is, I have been in hyper drive, anxiety wise and I am so glad I can take a benzo and calm down and look at life with better eyes.
My MOther NEEDED Ad's all my life. She never took them, preferring instead to drug herself into oblivion on barbiturates and Valium. She was completely useless as a mom, most of my life, but by DARN, she was never one of the 'crazies' who needed and Antidepressant. In return for THAT, 5/6 of my family (my sibs) are on an antidepressant. We all wanted to NOT be like mom.
Nothing NOTHING helped my mother's quality of life as much as the correct combination of antidepressants and anti anxiety meds.
There was no amount of reassurance that calmed her. Not the presence of 24/7 aides. Not quiet music. Nothing else worked
When your brain is broken from dementia, the right meds, administered in a thoughtful manner by a qualified psych doc or NP, can make all the difference in the world.
If your husband has Alzheimers and/or dementia & also seems to be suffering from depression, consult his doctor for the next course of action or treatment. It's not about what you are 'against' or 'for'........it's about what your husband needs to keep him comfortable, not upset or depressed, and having the best quality of life possible for a person with his afflictions. If he's truly depressed, then he truly 'needs' medication to help him. The days of attaching stigmas to any types of medications should be long over with. Quality of life and the best of medical care is the ultimate goal for all of us.
That said, my mother is 93 and became severely depressed after suffering a serious illness in 2011 (she now has moderate dementia & lives in Memory Care). I called her MD up immediately when I saw how she was acting, told him her symptoms, and he prescribed Wellbutrin which helped her enormously. She still takes that medication to this day and I shudder to think how she would be acting without it.
I am not entirely clear what you're asking here. "Giving antidepressants" would seem to suggest that antidepressants have been prescribed and are available. Is that the case? Or are you trying to determine when others here think antidepressants might be medically necessary? Sorry -- I am easily confused these days --
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Know the side effects because what works for one might not be the best one to work for the patient. I am assuming he has dementia of some sort. All medicines need to be taken with supervision. We never told my husband that he is on it. We just added it to the meds he takes for the dementia.
I am allergic to anti-depressants and I use non-medical ways to help myself. Keep posting and you will find a lot of support. Lynina 2 is right about keeping an eye on what meds are used and their side effects.
While in hospital for torn esophagus (therefore NOTHING by mouth, not even medications), they were shooting me with Heparin every day. I generally have no problem with needles, but THOSE were painful! Back of one arm had to be bandaged, the other looked like black marbles from elbow to armpit. Doc from hematology came to my room and explained that when I came into the hospital, my platelet count was fine, but has since shot sky high... Well, considering the only things going into me are what hospital employees put in me, figure it out!!! Unable to take another shot in the arm, I opted for the abdomen... Hematoma!!! Heparin shots stopped at that point and guess what??? Platelet count returned to normal.
Heparin has been around a long long time and generally if there is an issue it is the opposite of what happened to me - platelets drop too low. So, clearly this is something that must NOT be used on me again. I report it whenever asked about allergies to medications. Who knows what else might cause problems for me??? I also refused Fosamax after doing lookup/reading about the "side effects" - yikes!!!
Regarding your husband, you did not state if he had any type of medical diagnosis. My account was what we did for my mother. Obviously it is based on individual needs. I wish you both well!
1. Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.
2. Loss of interest in daily activities. You don’t care anymore about former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex. You’ve lost your ability to feel joy and pleasure.
3. Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.
4. Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping.
5. Anger or irritability. Feeling agitated, restless, or even violent. Your tolerance level is low, your temper short, and everything and everyone gets on your nerves.
6. Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued, sluggish, and physically drained. Your whole body may feel heavy, and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete.
7. Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. You harshly criticize yourself for perceived faults and mistakes.
8. Reckless behavior. You engage in escapist behavior such as substance abuse, compulsive gambling, reckless driving, or dangerous sports.
9. Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.
10. Unexplained aches and pains. An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain.
(besides the Covid-19!), either me or the person I am caring for has many of these symptoms over this past year, (or more).
There are other treatments for depression, but if a person needs medication, those other treatments will not work. imo.
Medication used in combination with therapy and other treatments does help depression.
You are part of the healthcare team (along with his doctor) so your input will be invaluable, and you are in a perfect position to monitor your husband's response to treatment. As long as he has the right doctor, and the doctor is recommending medication, try that.
Good question Equestrienne, because I was just thinking what to do if my husband is now depressed. Watching a movie in tears unexplained, unable to perform regular chores, growling from irritability, sleeping too much....
What are your husband's symptoms? Has he been to the doctor?
Nothing I 'did' or 'caused' to have happen, I simply was worn to a nub with my family and DH and living in a very small homw wiht TOO MANY RESPONSIBILITIES. I had an emergency choleocystectomy and didn'd do well wiht the anesthesia--and couldn't get back to 'normal', I got really, really sick before I told my DH that I was miserable and going to take my own life.
Hot footed it to the hospital where I was dxed with severe depression/anxiety.
Probably had it all my life, but the surgery caught me off guard and I didn't have any reserves of emotional strength.
A good psych doc and patience brought me back slowly to 'myself'.
I don't think AD's are the answer for everyone. But for me, a godsend.
MY brain was 'broken' and as I got better, I also gained a LOT of empathy for people who struggle.
Would you withhold insulin from a diabetic? Antibiotics from someone with strep throat? No. And I would not withhold AD's or benzos from someone who was suffering from mental issues.
After 2 heart attacks within a week, Dh was prescribed AD's--either he take something for his chronic depression or I was leaving him. (Long backstory). He really DID have a choice---but he chose to have me stay and the AD's work and continue to work and he is better.
I hoped the stigma of 'mental health meds' had gotten less over the years. I have been very upfront about my battle wiht depressin and it's comorbid friend, anxiety. Esp now as we are facing an uncertain time--if I KNEW that we'd be back to 'normal' by,say, May 15th,. it would really, really help my anxiety. As it is, I have been in hyper drive, anxiety wise and I am so glad I can take a benzo and calm down and look at life with better eyes.
My MOther NEEDED Ad's all my life. She never took them, preferring instead to drug herself into oblivion on barbiturates and Valium. She was completely useless as a mom, most of my life, but by DARN, she was never one of the 'crazies' who needed and Antidepressant. In return for THAT, 5/6 of my family (my sibs) are on an antidepressant. We all wanted to NOT be like mom.
There was no amount of reassurance that calmed her. Not the presence of 24/7 aides. Not quiet music. Nothing else worked
When your brain is broken from dementia, the right meds, administered in a thoughtful manner by a qualified psych doc or NP, can make all the difference in the world.
That said, my mother is 93 and became severely depressed after suffering a serious illness in 2011 (she now has moderate dementia & lives in Memory Care). I called her MD up immediately when I saw how she was acting, told him her symptoms, and he prescribed Wellbutrin which helped her enormously. She still takes that medication to this day and I shudder to think how she would be acting without it.
Best of luck!
Sorry -- I am easily confused these days --