Instead of depands, try true adult diapers and put down a couple of "peach pads" on the bed under him. You can buy those from amazon. Or you can get the non-disposable version that hospitals use. They are VERY absorbant. Then you would just have to possibly wash the pad every day instead of the sheets.
I don’t know if someone else has already mentioned this, but there is definitely a right and wrong way to put on adult diapers. Our bath aide shows us lots of good tricks, like how to line up the most absorbent part and get it snug but not too tight. We figured out on our own that the penis needs to be pointed down.
My husband is incontinent too. I use external catheters, texas catheters, every night and it has helped immensely. You can order them from a medical supply store along with urinal bags. Hope this helps. I know exactly what you are going through. My husband does not have much control over his bowels any more and it's really hard to deal with all the cleaning and laundry, among other things. Prayers to you.
We used Azo product and then went to Pumpkin seed Oil. Used it for years now and it has helped. We just take recommended dose once a day. I agree - check for UTI.
Not familiar with Flomax, so looked it up. Curious why he is taking this medication. healthline website says "It’s approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to help improve urine flow in men who have benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH).", but there was no mention of this condition in your profile or question. Other sites indicate "Flomax helps to increase the flow of urine and keep the enlargement of the prostate from squeezing the urethra." So if he has enlarged prostrate, then perhaps this is needed. I also noted that due to the potential for dizziness, many suggest taking it before bed, to prevent falls... That would seem rather counterintuitive to the problem you/he are having.
Most comments are addressing the aftermath - sounds like you have most of that covered. It's the need to do all that cleanup that is taking a toll!
As for the usual things people try, like restricting fluids after a certain time or waking them during the night.. having had one child who was a bed wetter, I know these don't work. It never helped my child and restricting fluids for elders isn't a good idea. Waking them - my child would actually fight me, but wasn't even really awake. She was so deep in sleep that it was pointless. I just gave it time - she eventually outgrew it (when my mother first told my OB was one too, sigh, ok... then when she told me both she and my dad were too, I thought we'd be dealing with this until she was 30!!! Thankfully it didn't last that long.) My point is that these "usual" methods usually don't work.
I was very surprised that it wasn't until the last comment that someone mentioned UTI. Despite dementia, my mother was still continent. The few times she had accidents was from waiting a little too long and then being unable to get undressed fast enough! At some point we did swap all her regular underwear with briefs. No discussion, just did it. However, at least up until her stroke later last year, she would still ask to go to the bathroom (she was in a wheelchair by then.) She might wet a little, but was still using the bathroom. So, first UTI she had after moving to MC resulted in serious sun-downing! Got past that with antibiotics and anxiety meds. Once treated, we were back to "normal." Next thing I know, well after all that, she's wetting the bed. Despite extra absorbent briefs AND a pad inserted. SOAKING everything, despite bed pads too. Requires cleaning and changing her and changing/washing the bedding. Turns out this was the result of another UTI! Once treated, the bed wetting stopped.
I would recommend a good thorough exam, including blood and urine tests (make that a urine culture! they can do the dip stick test, but culture it anyway,) If no imbalances in the blood and no infections, then perhaps the next step would be a urologist. Perhaps question if he should stop taking the Flomax, reduce the dosage or not take it before bed.
Beckymcd: See the AgingCare topic regarding your question here: "Nocturnal enuresis (NE) is the involuntary voiding of urine during sleep. This condition is more commonly known as bed wetting. While nighttime loss of bladder control is often associated with young children, seniors may also suffer from involuntary urination for a number of reasons. Causes of nighttime incontinence in the elderly include diabetes, urinary tract infection (UTI), medication side effects, neurological disorders, anatomical abnormalities, overactive bladder, prostate enlargement or prostate cancer, bladder cancer, and obstructive sleep apnea. In very rare cases, acute anxiety or an emotional disorder may cause adult bed wetting. Urinary incontinence episodes are messy and can be embarrassing. Fortunately, there are treatments available and techniques that seniors and their caregivers can use to minimize the likelihood of elderly bed wetting. Tracking Elderly Bed Wetting A detailed record of a senior’s symptoms and bathroom habits can help a health care provider determine possible causes and treatments for nighttime incontinence. Keeping a diary over several days should provide enough data to assist a doctor in making a diagnosis, ordering any additional tests and developing a plan of care. Don’t be embarrassed by sharing this personal information. As with any health concern, providing a complete picture of the issue will help improve the accuracy and speed of diagnosis and treatment. Be sure to include the following details in such a journal:
Urination times throughout the day and night Timing of any incontinence accidents during the day and night Estimated amount of urine voided each time Detailed information on fluid intake (timing, amounts and type of beverages consumed) Nature of the urinary stream (Is the urine stream strong and consistent? Is there difficulty initiating a void? Continuous dribbling?) Indication of an existing or recurrent urinary tract infection (UTI) Note any other symptoms associated with urination and nocturnal enuresis, such as night sweats Make a Doctor’s Appointment A senior (or their caregiver) should be prepared to supply information and details related to personal and family medical history as well as medication usage. In addition to narrowing down treatment options for bed wetting, it is important to see a healthcare provider to rule out any other serious health problems that may cause nocturnal enuresis. After gathering this information, the doctor will typically perform a physical exam, conduct a neurological evaluation, and collect a urine sample to be sent to the lab for urinalysis and urine culture."
I use washable underpad, disposable chux under my husband at night and I don't have to wash everything on the bed everyday. If he wets something, it may be the top sheet at times. I order the disposable chux online and the size I use is 30 x 36. I don't know if that helps or not, but wish you well with what will work.
Beckymcd, Wish u didn't have to go thru this. Lots of good suggestions already. Wanted to add that my husband's urologist suggested there is perhaps a sleep apnea issue here as that is linked to the floods we were experiencing. Checked internet and that connection was stated. Hasn't been assessed for sleep apnea, tho, but maybe he has it. 😏 After his prostate procedure, TURP,... barely any floods. Also, we, too, use bed pads, pads in Depends overnight, limit intake after 4:00. Hang in there!! Wishing you better nights! 🌸
My dad was on flomax - doctor said only in morning, but he would get up, even after going off it, like every twenty minutes. He wore the washable padded underwear at night that Amazon sells, not cheap at $28 but made very well. Had vinyl slide pad under him. Nothing to drink one hour before bed. Don't know which is worse though - getting up all through the night ( and needing help) or just wetting the bed.
Hello! I recommend: 1) see a continence expert, a WOC nurse. They are Board Certified in this question! 2) my recommendation would be investigate trying a condom style catheter -the advantage of being male -just for over night. Good luck.
Yes I totally agree. The condom catheters will let you and him sleep through the night without having to wake up with wet sheets or assisting with placing a urinal. I didn’t find out about them until 5 yrs after my dad became bed ridden. Medicare covers them and I would still recommend him sleeping on a washable pad and diaper in case they come loose but these are a life saver for those caring for men overnight who are incontinent!!! Good luck!!
For my husband, I have a big washable pad under the fitted sheet, one on top of it, and then a 3x4 throwaway pad on top of that. Cuts down on bed changing which can be a hassle in the middle of the night. Rather than Depends or similar pullups during the night (which would leak), he wears a wraparound heavy duty brief which lasts the whole night most of the time. One brand I've used is Abena AbriForm Flex briefs - more expensive than pullups but worth it. He wears stretchy boxers on top to keep the briefs snug.
I feel your pain. I went through that a year ago when my Mom was having that problem. I found absorbent pads at CVS that helped. I put one under the mattress pad, one on top of mattress pad and I made sure I had one directly under her when she went to bed. During the day, every 2 hours, I helped her to the bathroom so she could learn to hold it again. (In the hospital, they just put her in diapers and she just went, so she lost the ability to hold it for 6 weeks). It took time but but there is no problem now. God bless you for all the hard work you do for your husband. I hope he knows how lucky he is. Caregiving of a loved one is one the hardest jobs there is but one of the most rewarding. This is coming from a nurse. My job is not as hard.
Try taking the med in the AM instead of later in the day. It sounds like he is sleeping right through it when he wets. My belief is once that the brain says it's ok to pee in a pad, it becomes ok. That natural instinct you have to wake up and go to the bathroom is gone. If he wakes up and knows it's happening, is he able to sit up and use a urinal or a bedside toilet? It's better than walking to the bathroom when still half asleep.
My 80 yr old dad could no longer reach for urinal overnight and he got a bad rash from being wet overnight so my sisters and I would have to wake up from sound sleep when he’d call out that he had to pee to place the urinal for him to pee. Those were grueling nights. We finally found out about condom catheters. They are a God send. We hook him up before bed with a Urine bag and most mornings when we wake up we just empty the bag. Once in a while he may leak but he always sleeps on a diaper and with a washable pad and a disposable pad underneath him just in case. I can’t say enough about condom catheters!!! His PCP never thought to tell us they existed even though he knew my dad was bedridden. Good luck!!!
First, your husband is lucky to have someone such as yourself care for him. In response to acacia re nutritional deficiencies, I would only say don't take such advice without proper knowledge of the balance needed when taking supplements and their potential contraindications with any Rx. (background in nutrition) When my mother was ill even in the hospital I stayed round the clock with her and changed her myself (worked as a nurse's aide in Senior high).
At home, I put large oversized "puppy pads" on the bed - one side is absorbent, the other side some blue waterproof material. This was on top of a mattress protector as Heather suggest. Then adult diapers and sometimes just lose or as a pad since it was often frequent - easier to remove and clean and add a new one. (she didn't move around much). I had her in the hospital gown to make things easier as well. The sheets rarely got involved with the larger puppy pads. (made for dogs but essentially the same for humans just come larger. (A friend had them for his dog as the dog stays indoors when he is at work and that is where I got the idea.)
My mother was in traditional medicine, I went natural at a young age, and took many courses even in college). Adelle Davis, unfortunately, died of cancer. Not discrediting her advice - it is to highlight that other factors are often involved.
While you may still need to change the sheets nightly, do use a number of disposal bed pads, as well as the washable bed pads that come in various sizes. Yes. Some excellent suggestions here. I'm going to make a list myself.
Adelle Davis's book, "Let's Get Well" on page 236, says, " Inability to control the passing of urine, or 'bed wetting', has been produced in volunteers by a deficiency of magnesium. ....Supplying the missing nutrient rectifies the situation."
We had a similar problem with my Mom. We used the pads on the bed. In addition we used Tranquility adult diapers, from a company called Carewell, they were really absorbent and solved the problem for us. Good luck.
We experienced this same issue with my dad. It’s tough on everyone! We used a different brief, Tena, I think? He slept in pull on shorts b/c he didn’t like to sleep in just his brief. Also, when he did, he’d sometimes fidget with it and undo it, so shorts worked great.I bought waterproof quilted bed pads that can be laundered. One side is blue, the other white quilting. Very comfortable to lay on & hold up to hundreds of washings. There are various sizes, too. We used a 3’ by 5’ nearer the end as he was more restless and the bed was protected. Easy to change out even if your loved one is bedridden. We checked and changed my dad every 4 hours so he wouldn’t get skin breakdown. My dad was wheelchair bound. There’s hope!
Lol, that is what I used and suggested as well for myself when I had c-diff. They are for some reason less expensive and HUGE. (I don't have a washer and dryer) so one can just toss. Bed sheets never "got involved".
Contact his doctor and ask that medication be evaluated if you haven’t done so already? Also there are incontinece pads you can buy to protect bed. Good luck.
I have this problem with my husband who has dementia. Someone here (I forget his name now) suggested a wonderful idea. I buy “ultimate absorbency” pads and insert the pad AFTER I cut open the sticky side of the pad. When the pad is over saturated, the excess is absorbed by the Depend giving me additional protection. This only helps cut down on the amount of leakage; it does not prevent leakage. I still have to get him up at 4am to change (and every 3 hrs during the day). By that time, both the pad and the Depend are super wet.
Depend also has “ultimate absorbency,” so get that. Order online from Sam’s club. Much cheaper than in stores. Again, same thing for the pads and get the extra long ones. Buy the CVS ones because they are long and the back are easier to cut. Forget the thin ones. They are useless.
As for pants, don’t bother in bed. They will always get wet, so why bother. During the day, yes. Not in bed at night.
There are absorbing sheets that are like 36" x28" that healthcare institutions use over the sheets. We used them for mom and they helped. We would use two to cover a larger area. We also had a large plastic sheet between the bed sheet and waterproof mattress encasement.
I have a fitted sheet, then a folded flat plastic sheet, a lightweight small cotton blanket, and a bed underpad. Then I add a folded hand towel as an insert in his pull up Depend. Every morning, I cut the Depend off with scissors, have him raise up and I throw the hand towel in the washer and the Depend in the trash. If the underpad is wet, it goes in the washer, and if the cotton blanket is wet, it goes in the washer. No mess, no lingering urine odor. I don’t expect him to not wet the bed, I just have to improvise so the workload is not too hard. With the plastic sheet, I don’t have to change his bottom fitted sheet as often. Best wishes.
I have the same issue with my mom. Her doctor cut her down to 1 liter of fluid max per day and no fluids after 6 p.m. However, she goes through two bed pads per night and at least two pairs of pants. This is in addition to multiple diaper changes through the night and getting up 2-3 times to use the bathroom!! We are scratching our heads on this one and will be talking to her doc next week during a follow up appt.
With her doc's approval I tried AZO with Go-Less and it worked for about a month- she stopped wetting during the night. But now, it stopped working and we're back to square one.
We are going to see if her doc will approve a PureWick (external catheter system for women) as this will help with her nighttime wetting. For men, a condom catheter might be your best bet.
In the meantime, she wears McKesson ultra absorbency pull ups at night (she still soaks through them). I use the large size Beck's classic reusable bed pads, (I get mine from carewell.com) underneath which they have been great with keeping the wetness from going any further. I have a lot on hand just in case. You can double these up too if you need to or if you get one large enough fold in half for extra protection. Just in case, I have plastic sheeting underneath her fitted sheet to keep anything from getting to the mattress protector.
It is interesting that docs would suggest cutting back on fluids when they are necessary to assist with the side effects of any Rx. (ie help expell) The body needs water. As well, both when I worked in health care and took care of my mom I would never put anyone ever on any type of catheter "of old" but looked at these newer types. I still feel horrible when one night when I was at the hospital with my mom - they asked if they could insert a catheter. She was screaming in pain. That was a while back and maybe they have improved.
She died within the next two days and I realized they were just too lazy to change her diaper and I was tired from being there around the clock often changing her myself (rather then wait for a long time for staff to come) and I had never been around when one was inserted. (I only say this as I once buzzed for them to come to her aide as the morphine had worn off and she was highly agitated trying to crawl over the railing. She had cancer, and I tucked her in with the sheets and ran out to see the staff eating pizza!!! ignoring the buzzes!!! (it was a VERY quiet night). The doctor who knew my mom (RN, PA for four neurosurgeons) was livid as I told him I never wanted these two individuals on with my mother ever and he asked why. She had never missed a single day of work!
Here is an Amazon review (great for getting feedback on many things). One can see the negative reviews along with the positive.
Only thing left is to be Catherized and that has to be changed every 30 days and hurts to have it done plus you end up getting Urinary Tract Infections..just put a fitted vinyl bed cover over the mattress and hire a Caregiver a couple hrs a day with changing the sheets, clean him up If assistance is needed and doing a load of clothes as one of her jobs.
I know it's a pain in the butt but look on the bright side, he can still urinate on his on.
Aknow try vinyl underwater over the diapers and make sure he's wearing Night Time thicker Adult Diapers at night.
Order Extrasorbs by Medline on Amazon, the extra large size, which hold a gallon of fluid apiece. They're disposable Chuck pads for the bed and they're life savers.
https://wellnessbriefs.com/?sscid=41k5_hqks9
Most comments are addressing the aftermath - sounds like you have most of that covered. It's the need to do all that cleanup that is taking a toll!
As for the usual things people try, like restricting fluids after a certain time or waking them during the night.. having had one child who was a bed wetter, I know these don't work. It never helped my child and restricting fluids for elders isn't a good idea. Waking them - my child would actually fight me, but wasn't even really awake. She was so deep in sleep that it was pointless. I just gave it time - she eventually outgrew it (when my mother first told my OB was one too, sigh, ok... then when she told me both she and my dad were too, I thought we'd be dealing with this until she was 30!!! Thankfully it didn't last that long.) My point is that these "usual" methods usually don't work.
I was very surprised that it wasn't until the last comment that someone mentioned UTI. Despite dementia, my mother was still continent. The few times she had accidents was from waiting a little too long and then being unable to get undressed fast enough! At some point we did swap all her regular underwear with briefs. No discussion, just did it. However, at least up until her stroke later last year, she would still ask to go to the bathroom (she was in a wheelchair by then.) She might wet a little, but was still using the bathroom. So, first UTI she had after moving to MC resulted in serious sun-downing! Got past that with antibiotics and anxiety meds. Once treated, we were back to "normal." Next thing I know, well after all that, she's wetting the bed. Despite extra absorbent briefs AND a pad inserted. SOAKING everything, despite bed pads too. Requires cleaning and changing her and changing/washing the bedding. Turns out this was the result of another UTI! Once treated, the bed wetting stopped.
I would recommend a good thorough exam, including blood and urine tests (make that a urine culture! they can do the dip stick test, but culture it anyway,) If no imbalances in the blood and no infections, then perhaps the next step would be a urologist. Perhaps question if he should stop taking the Flomax, reduce the dosage or not take it before bed.
"Nocturnal enuresis (NE) is the involuntary voiding of urine during sleep. This condition is more commonly known as bed wetting. While nighttime loss of bladder control is often associated with young children, seniors may also suffer from involuntary urination for a number of reasons.
Causes of nighttime incontinence in the elderly include diabetes, urinary tract infection (UTI), medication side effects, neurological disorders, anatomical abnormalities, overactive bladder, prostate enlargement or prostate cancer, bladder cancer, and obstructive sleep apnea. In very rare cases, acute anxiety or an emotional disorder may cause adult bed wetting.
Urinary incontinence episodes are messy and can be embarrassing. Fortunately, there are treatments available and techniques that seniors and their caregivers can use to minimize the likelihood of elderly bed wetting.
Tracking Elderly Bed Wetting
A detailed record of a senior’s symptoms and bathroom habits can help a health care provider determine possible causes and treatments for nighttime incontinence. Keeping a diary over several days should provide enough data to assist a doctor in making a diagnosis, ordering any additional tests and developing a plan of care.
Don’t be embarrassed by sharing this personal information. As with any health concern, providing a complete picture of the issue will help improve the accuracy and speed of diagnosis and treatment. Be sure to include the following details in such a journal:
Urination times throughout the day and night
Timing of any incontinence accidents during the day and night
Estimated amount of urine voided each time
Detailed information on fluid intake (timing, amounts and type of beverages consumed)
Nature of the urinary stream (Is the urine stream strong and consistent? Is there difficulty initiating a void? Continuous dribbling?)
Indication of an existing or recurrent urinary tract infection (UTI)
Note any other symptoms associated with urination and nocturnal enuresis, such as night sweats
Make a Doctor’s Appointment
A senior (or their caregiver) should be prepared to supply information and details related to personal and family medical history as well as medication usage. In addition to narrowing down treatment options for bed wetting, it is important to see a healthcare provider to rule out any other serious health problems that may cause nocturnal enuresis.
After gathering this information, the doctor will typically perform a physical exam, conduct a neurological evaluation, and collect a urine sample to be sent to the lab for urinalysis and urine culture."
And finally someone mentioned the magic letters to check - UTI!
I order the disposable chux online and the size I use is 30 x 36. I don't know if that helps or not, but wish you well with what will work.
1) see a continence expert, a WOC nurse. They are Board Certified in this question!
2) my recommendation would be investigate trying a condom style catheter -the advantage of being male -just for over night.
Good luck.
At home, I put large oversized "puppy pads" on the bed - one side is absorbent, the other side some blue waterproof material. This was on top of a mattress protector as Heather suggest. Then adult diapers and sometimes just lose or as a pad since it was often frequent - easier to remove and clean and add a new one. (she didn't move around much). I had her in the hospital gown to make things easier as well. The sheets rarely got involved with the larger puppy pads. (made for dogs but essentially the same for humans just come larger. (A friend had them for his dog as the dog stays indoors when he is at work and that is where I got the idea.)
My mother was in traditional medicine, I went natural at a young age, and took many courses even in college). Adelle Davis, unfortunately, died of cancer. Not discrediting her advice - it is to highlight that other factors are often involved.
Others have offered excellent advice regarding different types of adult diapers as well as coupling the with an absorbent pad.
Depend also has “ultimate absorbency,” so get that. Order online from Sam’s club. Much cheaper than in stores. Again, same thing for the pads and get the extra long ones. Buy the CVS ones because they are long and the back are easier to cut. Forget the thin ones. They are useless.
As for pants, don’t bother in bed. They will always get wet, so why bother. During the day, yes. Not in bed at night.
With her doc's approval I tried AZO with Go-Less and it worked for about a month- she stopped wetting during the night. But now, it stopped working and we're back to square one.
We are going to see if her doc will approve a PureWick (external catheter system for women) as this will help with her nighttime wetting. For men, a condom catheter might be your best bet.
In the meantime, she wears McKesson ultra absorbency pull ups at night (she still soaks through them). I use the large size Beck's classic reusable bed pads, (I get mine from carewell.com) underneath which they have been great with keeping the wetness from going any further. I have a lot on hand just in case. You can double these up too if you need to or if you get one large enough fold in half for extra protection. Just in case, I have plastic sheeting underneath her fitted sheet to keep anything from getting to the mattress protector.
She died within the next two days and I realized they were just too lazy to change her diaper and I was tired from being there around the clock often changing her myself (rather then wait for a long time for staff to come) and I had never been around when one was inserted. (I only say this as I once buzzed for them to come to her aide as the morphine had worn off and she was highly agitated trying to crawl over the railing. She had cancer, and I tucked her in with the sheets and ran out to see the staff eating pizza!!! ignoring the buzzes!!! (it was a VERY quiet night). The doctor who knew my mom (RN, PA for four neurosurgeons) was livid as I told him I never wanted these two individuals on with my mother ever and he asked why. She had never missed a single day of work!
Here is an Amazon review (great for getting feedback on many things). One can see the negative reviews along with the positive.
"""""""""""""""https://www.amazon.com/Bard-Medical-Purewick-External-Catheter/dp/B07Y42RD9T/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=purewick+female+external+catheter&qid=1618771565&sr=8-1"""""""""""""""""
I know it's a pain in the butt but look on the bright side, he can still urinate on his on.
Aknow try vinyl underwater over the diapers and make sure he's wearing Night Time thicker Adult Diapers at night.
https://www.amazon.com/Medline-Extrasorbs-Drypad-Underpads-Permeable/dp/B07GYZNDY8/ref=sr_1_5?crid=30TWVDKTSCUAK&dchild=1&keywords=medline+extrasorbs+ap+30x36&qid=1618530758&sprefix=Extras%2Caps%2C318&sr=8-5
You can also order guards.....they're like doublers for the Depends and hold lots of extra fluid
https://www.amazon.com/Depend-Incontinence-Maximum-Absorbency-Packaging/dp/B01KOFCNP0/ref=sr_1_6?dchild=1&keywords=depends+doublers&qid=1618530567&sr=8-6
Good luck!