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I do not blame the homes for refusing him; the staff has to feel safe in their environment to do their jobs. The psychiatric hospital refuses to take him because dementia is a medical problem and the care facilities refuse to take him because it is a mental defect. I cannot handle him at home but I have no idea where I can place him. Does this wonderful forum of caregivers have suggestions?

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Frizzle, welcome back. I'm so sorry the MC facilities did not work out.

For starts, DO NOT BRING HIM HOME.

Where ever he is, they need to transfer him to another MEDICAL FACILITY, not your home.

Has he been seen by psychiatry in a teaching hospital? As to the psych hospital, I would lean on them HARD because he has dementia WITH BEHAVIORAL DISTURBANCE and that is what psych hospitals treat.

If they say otherwise, go to the patient advocate and start calling your local elected officials. They all have staff in their offices to deal with Senior affairs.

Please let us know how you are doing.
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With the help of case workers at the hospital, we found a placement for my husband that will give him neurological evaluations and hopefully balanced medications to control his aggressiveness. Thanks to all who replied; this forum is such a valuable resource. I appreciate all who are willing to give advice.
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DO NOT BRING HIM HOME.

If he hasn’t had that comprehensive psychiatric/neuropsychiatric evaluation, that is DEFINITELY your next step.

Once he has been diagnosed, and medication and a behavioral plan have become part of his diagnostic package, you will potentially have recommendations and prescriptions from the specialists who have seen him that can hopefully lead to a treatment site that can manage him.

Don’t allow yourself to be railroaded into doing more that you’re able to do. Your “I can’t…. “ is just as important as any recommendation that is made for him.

Thinking of you and hoping you get some helpful info SOON.
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Is he on hospice? When my daddy was violent the first thing we did was call the hospice doctor. He was able to get him some meds to calm him down. Also, the facility called me and I came over and calmed him down until the meds could get there. I had to talk to my daddy as if he were a kid. Deal with him - tell him if he did this I would do that. Some meds may not work so may need to try different ones. Prayers
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@frizzle:
I am glad to read that it looks like there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I hope all goes well with the evaluations and medication can stabilize him.
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