My ill husband wants to remain on an isolated island and I need help getting him to move with me. Any advice?

I believe you are where you should be now if you are well and happy here. Your husband's idea of where and how to retire sounds to me a bit fantastical magical thinking if he has been suffering illness. I cannot imagine the anxiety you must have on a normal daily basis. I would stay right where you are.
Now we come down to long term choices.
I would tell my husband you are staying where your son is. I would tell son that and I would work on some division of assets with an attorney if that is needed and make son my POA. You can decide if you want ALF or if you want Independent living facility, or a small apartment near your son.
Might I ask, if hubby is generally not well, who is caring for him now?
I sure wish you the best. I see no need to throw yourself and the remainder of your life on some sacrificial altar to your husband's poor decision making.
I sure wish you the best. Welcome to the Forum and hope you will stick around, ask and answer and join the group.

"His desire was to return to Canada and live on an island."

Is husband Canadian and lived and worked in the US on a greencard? If he worked in the US does not matter if he is a US citizen or not, he can collect SS and Medicare.

"You will qualify for Medicare even if you are not a U.S. citizen if you qualify to receive or currently receive Social Security retirement benefits, Railroad Retirement Benefits (RRB), or Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI). In any of these cases, you will qualify for premium-free Part A. You will owe a premium for Part B."

I think its time for DH to realize that you and he need more help than is available on an island. Stress does not help your RA. Your son has seen you can't do this caring. Seems like you have some support with this son so need to be near him. I would see a lawyer to see what your options are.

Presumably your son(s) have also made arrangements for your husband to be cared for while you're away, yes?

And where are you living at the moment?

Seems like neither of you can live in a remote location for medical reasons. Ask your husband what he wants/needs most with a remote location and try to meet those needs in a place closer to a hospital,

Your husband is not automatically nuts or suffering from dementia. Believe it or not, we had a family friend who owned an island and did many similar things. His island was off the coast of Haiti, only accessible by small boat, and there was no dock at either end of the trip. That meant that he would go down there and ride the boat into shore on the waves. At 88 years old.

Thirty years ago that boat caught a wave and landed on his wife, breaking her hip, and she had to fly back to the U.S. sitting up and walking on board under her own power, or they wouldn't have let her fly. She was never able to walk properly again, and she was in her early 60s then.

Her husband never gave up on that stupid island, and he traveled there annually for 6-8 weeks at a time. His wife declined to participate after a few trips. I'm sure Bill would have been happy to live out his days on that sand spit, but his body gave out when he was at home, thank goodness.

You are not required to sacrifice your health and safety and acquiesce to your husband's whims. It's time for his come-to-Jesus moment where you MAKE the decision (not ask) to move to a stable, safe location and invite him to come along - or not. I have a feeling he'll choose you.

I think you should have your DH evaluated for cognitive impairment, personally. He's not taking YOUR health into consideration at all, and a lack of empathy is a hallmark of dementia. It's all fine and well to have a desire to live life in a certain way. But, when the quality of a spouse's life is THIS impaired, it's not okay and one should strive to find a reason for the intensity of stubbornness involved in having one's own way, at the expense of another's wellbeing. I find the whole situation highly suspicious for dementia myself.

However this diagnosis plays out, I'd issue your DH an ultimatum: we either move off of this God-forsaken island or I move off of it ALONE. I'm not going to die on this island b/c you love living here. Period. That is incredibly unreasonable of him to expect such a thing, or to sit idly by and watch his beloved wife suffer like this! UNACCEPTABLE.

Best of luck taking your OWN health into consideration now.

Each of us is entitled to our own opinions and, if not mentally impaired, the right to choose how we live and die. I believe your husband has let you know what this plans are. You can request a 72 hour psych eval stay to determine if he is capable of making his own decisions and then you can force him into treatment or let go.

Are you talking about his desire to move or actual move, which island, Vancouver Island? Which is great but so many medical procedures are not easily accessible.
If so I understand your concern, we struggle here to find specialists and waiting list is 8 months or more.

Stick with the group honey.

BluegrassGirl: Perchance neither of you (you were in the hospital) should live in a remote locale.