My LO in memory care keeps having things going missing. He’s on his 2nd pair of eyeglasses & I was told they’re missing. Who is responsible?

Unfortunately it is your loved one who is almost certainly held responsible, even though he or she is in memory care. I know it makes no sense. As a nurse it was so common to see missing dentures, glasses, hearing aids. They got left on trays, flushed down toilets, lost who knows where. It is so difficult, and such a problem, but one with no answer. Do call them and ask, but I think that this is the case. You might consider putting out a "reward if you find.....blah blah " note on the door. But of course THAT could lead to them missing often, I guess.

Stuff just flat goes MIA no matter how attentive the staff or how carefully you label stuff. Doesn’t matter whether is an expensive only private pay LTC or one that takes Medicaid. There lots of “happy hands” residents due to dementia plus other residents often gift to another their personal possessions. Its also likely your mom has placed her things and walked away from them.

If your happy with care there, try to focus on that & not things MIA.

if she’s on Medicaid, she gets $ each month for a Personal Needs Allowance that you as her dpoa should use to replace items. If the MC is getting her SS$ directly each mo, they have set up a in-facility trust account that you go to the business office to withdraw $ from her PNA to buy her things. If she’s private pay, perhaps think of this as it’s just $ that goes towards a spend down should she in her future need to apply for LTC Medicaid.

I get your frustration, my mom was forever MIA on 1 shoe, but she ended up with a collection of glitzy hair barrettes and she was most def not the barrette type. Look to buy the replacements inexpensively in multiplies and just store them in ziplocks till the next time needed. I used bright neon nail polish on everything of hers hard surface that I could or colored laundry markered anything fabric with her initials calligraphied. It will help you spot her stuff easier.

I would suggest they check the other residents. I went to see my Mom (yrs back) and there just was something not right. Finally realized she had the wrong glasses on. She was wearing rectangled frames she had oval. My GF was a hairdresser at the AL and she had done my Moms hair that morning. Found out she had two clients at the same time, Mom and another lady. Yep, the other lady had Moms glasses and Mom hers. Both had Dementia and I don't think they realized the difference in the prescriptions.

I took a picture of everything I took to Moms AL and NH. One was her glasses. Hers had some filigree on them. I took a picture from the front and sides.

Those glasses are there somewhere. He may have wandered into some one elses room. If he shares a room the aide could have gotten glasses mixed up or roommate could have them. Find a way that they can be recognized. Adhesive tape wrapped around the side piece with his initials on it?

Oh boy. Such an impossible situation.

By virtue of the fact that these residents all have dementia, Alzheimers and memory/cognitive issues in general, things always go missing. Chaos reigns supreme from time to time as well, while residents wander into one another's rooms and 'borrow' whatever they set their eyes on. It's unavoidable. My mother keeps her door locked 24/7 in Memory Care, so nobody's wandered into her room and whatever goes 'missing' is due to her own misplacement of it. She will tell me 100x that thus-and-such has been 'stolen' but that has never been the case even ONCE the entire times she's been living there.

When I was working in a Memory Care ALF before the plague hit, missing glasses & hearing aids were always an issue. Walter would lose his own glasses and his son constantly blamed us. Bottom line was, Walter's son had to keep getting him new glasses (readers) if the CGs couldn't locate his old ones. Normally they could, but not always. The bed is a great place to have the CG look first and foremost for missing items.

We once had a situation where a resident was eating at the dinner table, took out one of her hearing aids for some reason; another resident grabbed it out of her hand and ATE it. Literally. Chewed it right up and swallowed it. Sigh. The resident's POA had to get her another set b/c the Memory Care is not responsible for these types of mishaps or 'missing items'. Unfortunately.

Sorry you are going thru this; I know how frustrating and expensive it can be!!

Yeah, this is one of those things that is extremely upsetting and frustrating when your family member is in a facility of any kind.  The residents are not chained to their bed, they are free to roam and when they do, things get laid down, things get picked up and things get lost.  Our aunt was in memory care and in her room we found false teeth, glasses, clothing, etc, that were not hers.  The doors to their rooms are not locked so anyone can come in and out.  Many are not mobile, but many are and it just simply can't be controlled.  It's awful.  You can tell the facility that something is missing, but the odds of them finding it are pretty slim. 

My mother actually went into another residents apartment and took a nap in their bed.  Imagine their surprise when they found her!

I am sorry that you are dealing with this and I don't mean to make light of it.

I would also discuss with his caregiver supervisor or front office, at least. When my husband was in assisted living, he would wander into one of the "living room" areas of 4, and lay down and take a nap on a sofa. He also wandered into another room and I found him taking a nap on someone's bed. Another time, I would enter and find something in his room that wasn't his. Found out one of the men walked around the whole of the very long "room" (with the 4 living rooms), and would go in and out of unlocked rooms. Rooms unlocked so people would know where they "lived" and enter on their own. One day while I was there I found a baby doll on his recliner; by this time my DH was in bed due to a fall. I took the doll out and put it in a nearby living room. A few minutes later the same man came in and took a pair of my husband's socks that he had on his recliner. I told one of the caregivers and she said Mr. so and so did that a lot and she got the socks and returned them to me. All items had my husband's initials on them, so they would know where to return. That was company policy.
Try getting the glasses necklace (name escapes me) to put glasses around his neck--one for each pair if necessary. I know it's frustrating, but your LO may not be the one losing his glasses, but then, again, he may just be. Hard to deal with, I know.

Faciliity should have policy and procedure to safeguard their clients' belongings. Please ask to see their policy and what they will do to replace items that "got lost" in their facility.

This happened to my mother in memory care. They found numerous pairs of glasses in one of the patients room. It was also not uncommon for someone to take their glasses off set them down somewhere. Then another person would come along, see the glasses and put them on, not realizing they weren't theirs.

Talk to facility about missing items. They should be checking for these items when they go in and out of his room. I would think hearing aids stay in until he goes to bed at night, so that's something they could put away for him each night and give back the next morning. If he wears glasses all day, then those might be getting lost when taken off at night. Possibly getting thrown away - put a sign on the trash can not to dump until glasses and hearing aids are located.

You could help get them back to correct place by putting some kind of name tag on glasses. Not so sure about labeling hearing aids depending on the size. Might also get one of those things that attaches to glasses so if he takes them off they are still hanging on his neck.