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How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Whenever he calls it’s always the same...get me out of here. I visit as allowed. It makes me sad that he thinks I abandoned him but it was my only choice. Will he ever be reasonably happy? He is well treated as I check in often.
They all do this. And home may not be the last place they lived. For my Aunt it was her childhood home. Just have to make up little fibs. We will see Dad. Need to see if u get better. Eventually they will forget about home. Please, don't feel guilty. You do what needs to be done for him and you. This is a horrible desease and so unpredictable. As you said "you need to keep him safe".
It's part of the dementia process to keep thinking/saying they 'want to go home' which means they are seeking comfort and/or familiarity of some kind. Once he settles in, he may stop saying that; then again, he may not. You just never know WHAT to expect with the dreadful dementia, isn't that the truth? My mother has been complaining endlessly about needing her 'big big big toenails trimmed' for ages now, and then REFUSED to have them done yesterday when the podiatrist was at her Memory Care. The nurse asked her 4x, called me and asked that I urge her to do it, nothing worked. What else is new? When dementia is calling the shots, NOTHING makes sense.
The worst part of what you're going through is that you now dread making The Daily Phone Call, don't you? Just hearing those words out of his mouth and knowing you'll need to deal with the subject yet AGAIN is really the worst feeling in the world. I know.........I have to deal with it myself all the time. I wind up telling my mother that I'm shocked she'd even expect to come live with me, considering she's wheelchair bound, has SO many health issues, and DH and I "work full time" and she'd be alone here all day long. Living with me is just impossible, I'm afraid, sorry Mom.
Wishing you the best of luck dealing with a terrible situation. My heart goes out to you.
You will find on forum that this is the constant. Other than complaining about the food there is likely no other more common thing than to hear that the elder asks to go home all the time. It often makes for painful visits. He likely doesn't go through the whole process of how he came to be there; it is more that he wants to go home. Just tell him that you wish he could, but the doctor says that isn't safe now. Or some other therapeutic lie. I am so glad you found a good facility.
Dear Alva, thanks for your response. I’ve read on the forum that this is a constant. Yesterday he said he went to the administrator with this request. I don’t know how accurate that is. When I tried to care for him at home he fell several times a day and the doctor told me he can’t fall on this head again. I’ve had many home caretakers but he wouldn’t allow them to assist him only me. And this was impossible.
my story doesn’t change a thing but it’s comforting to know someone’s out there somewhere and answered me.
Stay well
Today’s phone call was nice but I never know what the next one will be.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
The worst part of what you're going through is that you now dread making The Daily Phone Call, don't you? Just hearing those words out of his mouth and knowing you'll need to deal with the subject yet AGAIN is really the worst feeling in the world. I know.........I have to deal with it myself all the time. I wind up telling my mother that I'm shocked she'd even expect to come live with me, considering she's wheelchair bound, has SO many health issues, and DH and I "work full time" and she'd be alone here all day long. Living with me is just impossible, I'm afraid, sorry Mom.
Wishing you the best of luck dealing with a terrible situation. My heart goes out to you.
thanks for your response. I’ve read on the forum that this is a constant. Yesterday he said he went to the administrator with this request. I don’t know how accurate that is. When I tried to care for him at home he fell several times a day and the doctor told me he can’t fall on this head again. I’ve had many home caretakers but he wouldn’t allow them to assist him only me. And this was impossible.
my story doesn’t change a thing but it’s comforting to know someone’s out there somewhere and answered me.
Stay well
Today’s phone call was nice but I never know what the next one will be.