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She has dyshagia of the throat. Is refusing to eat. Claims food isn’t prepared in a way she can eat (ground up) I’ve witness some situations but yesterday her meat wasn’t ground but was cut up very small. She shoved her table across floor. I left room thinking she would decide to eat- but when I came back she still refused. I try to be gentle but nothing seems to work. Her niece called her later and said she “she said something is different” she said all over. I am not in charge of her care so nursing home won’t share info with me. Another member family is in charge and is too casual about her care. I perhaps they reduced or removed an antidepressant or perhaps she has had a mini stroke. A stroke is why she is in a nursing home in the first place.

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If mom can not swallow food that has been cut into little pieces then it needs to be pureed.
Please be careful of slippery foods that you would not think need to be pureed because they are soft. Thinks like peaches, nectarines, bananas all slide down the throat but they can also slide down the trachea as well causing aspiration.
the nursing home (not sure if you mean Skilled Nursing facility or other type of facility) should be aware of how her food should be done.

Since you are not a family member that the facility can discuss her care with you need to back off or you need to decide if this is worth a fight. If you think this is worth a fight you talk to an attorney and try to obtain Guardianship and assume responsibility. This is not easy nor is it inexpensive.

If the agitation is new then they should check for a UTI.
But I can understand frustration and agitation if she is unable to eat the food that is provided because she physically can not eat it.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Grandma1954
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You truly need medical evaluation now. And I would say emergently.
You may have several issues here but the swallow problems are the most dangerous.
Any feeding of anything other than puree could easily now result into food going into the airway and from there to the lungs. This would leave to aspiration pneumonia and could be deadly. So no more feeding until there can be a swallow evaluation. This can be done in the ER. Lacking a swallow you would be left with decisions about a tube feeding either temporarily or permanently.

You mention in your profile that there is some UTI either presently or by history. So that needs evaluation also. You can get cheap dipsticks from the pharmacy which will give you an indication (follow directions on the packaging). But a good Culture and Sensitivity should be done by medical.

You mention a stroke. This is an emergent situation as well. Should be evaluated, but swallow deficits often occur with aging and with dementia.

I wish you the best and hope you'll update us.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Sudden changes in behavior and eating habits are cause for updated medical evaluation. She needs to see a doctor
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Your loved one now needs to have all of her foods pureed, and her drinks thickened , so she doesn't get aspiration pneumonia, as that is fatal in most cases.
Whoever has POA needs to tell the nursing facility that your loved ones food MUST be pureed going forward, so she can eat for Pete's sake.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Patartsy Jun 23, 2024
Thank you! I forwarded your message to the POA. Hopefully it will have a positive effect. Especially if she knows I’m discussing it with other people.
A little pressure never hurts get someone to move! 🥰
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