My Mom was going to send his insurance cards and information with him. She sent nothing. My Dad is 86 years old and caregiving for the elderly is completely new to me. I don't work, but care for my grand babies although I am cutting back on that and told my kids they need to find other child care. My Dad is supposed to be getting physical therapy like he was where he used to live, but here, he told them he doesn't want PT. He is basically bed ridden. I feel so overwhelmed with everything and so unorganized. He's been here since Saturday night. The nursing home did have him sign a POA so I can handle his health. I want to get copies of his health records from this nursing home as well as his past hospital stays and past nursing home. Is that possible? Do I need all of that? I just want to make sure he is receiving the best care possible. My emotions are all over the place which totally is unlike me. I can cry at the drop of a hat. I'm not menopausal, lol. My husband and kids are very supportive and have also been helping to oversee his care. My Mom moves here December 15th, but we will have to somehow get her moved. I guess I just want my Dad to get better, but I doubt he will. He's had issues for years and this last episode was started when he broke his back last June. I guess I just don't know exactly what to do. I'm trying my best but feel overwhelmed. I keep apologizing to the nurses telling them I'm sorry if I'm bugging you, but I've never done this before. I've been trained in bereavement counseling as well as caregiving, but I don't know how to do it myself I guess. Any advice you have would be much appreciated!
Get to know the people at the NH. Learn their schedules—lunch times, rest times, etc. observe the aides and nurses and learn which ones will take the time to speak with you, the ones who great you when you walk in and the ones who simply walk by.
Divide and conquer is the best way, I learned. I was caring for my mom and hubby at the same time for 3 years. I had double the paperwork and it wasn’t easy. For Christmas this year. I’m asking Santa for a paper shredder!
Good luck and keep us updated!
If finances allow, get as much help as possible. Moving companies will come in and move your Mom (but where is all of her stuff going?) I agree with the notebooks - one for your Dad's care --- what has been done and what needs attention. One for the logistics of the move. As Farmjelly says, some things will fall in the cracks but you can catch up along the way.
I would encourage Dad to do the PT. He misses your Mom and perhaps that can be a motivator to get out of bed --- her impending arrival. Keep us posted and don't be afraid to ask specific questions.
Dad broke his back in June. What is the maximum PT could hope to achieve for him? Is he likely to every walk again? Would he be able to transfer more easily from the bed to a wheelchair, for example? If PT is successful, what will he be able to do that he isn't doing now? That is what I'd emphasize when talking to him about it. And if he decides that the small possible gain isn't worth the effort, could you be OK with that decision?
What were his other issues before the broken back?
You've accomplished a great deal just getting him close enough for his family to visit him, and for you to advocate for him. Don't think you have to do everything all at once. The NH will meet all of Dad's immediate needs. Focus on this big move for Mother. How is her health? Where will she be living?
My mom still drives and lives in a small retirement community. She can hire movers and packers and I told her I would drive her down here and help her. She’s been sorting through her stuff. We found her a place to rent starting December 15th. So much to do it’s overwhelming!