Too bad if she doesn't like them. The only alternative to not having her in the Depends is to have her crapping and pissing all over herself, the floors, and the furniture. She will just have to get used to them.
You can try another brand. Just like underwear some brands fit differently than others and some may not be as soft as another. another option (if it is a viable one) would be to use an incontinent absorbent pad rather than a full pull up brief. This might work if it is urinary incontinence but probably won't if it is fecal incontinence. There are also washable absorbent underwear. some are more designed for light leaks others are more absorbent.
remove all of her underwear from the house and put the depends in her drawer like normal. Don’t make a big deal about them and call them her panties etc
The underwear for incontinence is Depends or some other brand of pull-up or diaper or "brief". Period underwear is not going to be effective for incontinence.
If it's crap, the only product for that is an actual tab diaper.
At this point it really doesn't matter if she likes the Depends or not, she MUST wear them or something similar. You may have to do what I had to do with my late husband and that is throw away all her old underwear and replace them with her pretty new underwear(Depends). And don't worry, she'll get used to them when that is all she has to wear.
Yes. I told my husband that I bought him new gray underwear (Depends). There is also washable cloth underwear w/a slot for an incontinence pad. Just put in the pad when she's not looking and remove/replace when it's wet.
If she's not aware that it's happening, just do what you can to keep her and the furniture clean and dry. Use Adult diapers, there are also incontinence pads that you can put between her and the bed sheets at night or on a chair. Check all of the incontinence supplies online or in your local stores to see what might help. Get wet wipes (can also find them in the baby department) to clean her off afterwards, or have plenty of washcloths around. Try having set times when you take her to the toilet (at least 3 times a day, morning noon and night), and stay with her to help with cleanup.
It's only going to get worse. Be ready for her removing or ripping them off and having urine and feces all over the place. Adult diapers should be next. Good luck
My mother gets UTI's and is just plain lazy I had to take the diapers away because of this issue, I can't even give her an absorbent pad cause she yeah will leak and argue about taking it off. It's been quite challenging in this area of incontinence for us. She will is so worried about putting her makeup and doing her hair and standing right by the toilet waiting to finish her hair and boom she realizes oh I need the bathroom she has an accident standing right by the toilet, this just happened yesterday.
Yes it’s not easy those mattress protectors help my father started some nonsense about he wasn’t wasting money changing u til my sister was firm with him there was no choice - I explained how when things aren’t changed often it makes washing harder it does take a lot of energy watch how long it takes an older person to dress without help so it’s balancing helping them helping to pull things off so it’s not such a chore Ive also got my dad on vitamin pills which has helped his mind-he’s more alert and that helps understanding the issue. Bought him a nappy bin that contains them which he thinks is pretty neat so doesn’t mind using sometimes like kids you’ve got to make things worth their while to gave them do it good luck - it can be very wearisome
I explained to my father who wouldn’t accept he had incontinence issues that it’s just wot happens when you get to our’ age and no point in discussing it just put plans in so that when you leak it doesn’t wet your clothes and you end up smelling and that it’s nothing to be ashamed of this went in fur a while until my sister just ordered him to change! now it’s routine and he does it automatically but it wasn’t an easy ride nor coping with what he saw as bullying him a bit it it needs a firm hand we go to the bathroom in the morning to freshen up and I help you and in the evening then you’re comfortable fur the day and so am I knowing you’re ok you know your mother better than anyone so it’s devising a plan or speaking to a health worker/doctor to explain and tell her good luck its not easy
Agree with others replace panties with disposables. Keep trying different brands til you get what meets her needs for comfort, softness, and holds the urine. Sometimes the incontinence pads aren't enough. Buy a QUALITY mattress cover that has a waterproof liner on the back. The urine gets absorbed into the fabric and doesn't get to the mattress. For sleep periods, you might consider 'the WICK Urinary System' if you think she'll tolerate it.
Replace all her panties with Depends. Take all her underwear and put the disposables in the drawer. Try different brands and sizes to find one more comfortable. There are washable incontinence underwear. There are some cloth options with a pocket to insert a disposable absorbent pad. That might be the most comfortable and effective option.
There are a few medications that can help with bladder incontinence but really has to wear something like Depends. The incontinence underwear is very expensive, somewhere around $30 a pair. If she only has bladder incontinence they may be okay, but not for fecal matter. For my mother I replaced all of her regular underwear with Depends. She has dementia so when she complained about the Depends, I told her she’d have to use them for now until I can get her some more underwear. She has since forgotten about regular underwear.
The not liking it is irrelevant. You need to win that battle. This is a dictatorship - not a democracy.
What I do for my mother:
She wears Always Discreet Pullup Underwear - they're soft and come in pink if that helps.
Inside of the Pullup she wears Tena Sensitive overnight pad or Tena Sensitive Ultimate. They feel like cotton - very soft.
I change her pullup every morning and the pad every morning and evening unless it's soiled.
I use baby wipes from Walmart to clean her after every bathroom visit.
I use gloves 100% of the time because to me, pee and poop especially are bio hazards - even if it is my mother. Gloves also protect my mother from anything on my hands that could transfer to her.
She has had nary a problem - no UTI's or other issues.
Jmedina719: Remove all underpants/panties. Leave the Depends as the only option to wear. The fact that she doesn't like them is going to be a moot point as the alternative won't be pretty.
Above is a link to a 3 pack of high absorbency leakproof women's incontinence panties. Cheap at the price considering the cost of repeatedly buying Depends at $26 a bag. IF you feel like washing soaked underwear constantly and IF mom is not stool incontinent.
There are going to many things mom doesn't like about both incontinence and dementia. If she is living with you, YOU get to set the rules down regardless of what she likes or doesn't like. Make life as easy as possible for YOU. Me, I would not want to be washing urine soaked underwear all day long so I wouldn't make them an option. And I'd buy anti strip clothing, if necessary, to insure mom would not be taking off the Depends too. Those suits are available on Amazon.
Reminds me of a funny exchange when he soiled himself and the aide asked if he had no control. He said "it just falls out " 🙂
another option (if it is a viable one) would be to use an incontinent absorbent pad rather than a full pull up brief. This might work if it is urinary incontinence but probably won't if it is fecal incontinence.
There are also washable absorbent underwear. some are more designed for light leaks others are more absorbent.
The underwear for incontinence is Depends or some other brand of pull-up or diaper or "brief". Period underwear is not going to be effective for incontinence.
If it's crap, the only product for that is an actual tab diaper.
You may have to do what I had to do with my late husband and that is throw away all her old underwear and replace them with her pretty new underwear(Depends).
And don't worry, she'll get used to them when that is all she has to wear.
those mattress protectors help
my father started some nonsense about he wasn’t wasting money changing u til my sister was firm with him there was no choice - I explained how when things aren’t changed often it makes washing harder
it does take a lot of energy
watch how long it takes an older person to dress without help so it’s balancing helping them
helping to pull things off so it’s not such a chore
Ive also got my dad on vitamin pills which has helped his mind-he’s more alert and that helps understanding the issue. Bought him a nappy bin that contains them which he thinks is pretty neat so doesn’t mind using
sometimes like kids you’ve got to make things worth their while to gave them do it
good luck - it can be very wearisome
and that it’s nothing to be ashamed of
this went in fur a while until
my sister just ordered him to change!
now it’s routine and he does it automatically but it wasn’t an easy ride nor coping with what he saw as bullying him a bit
it it needs a firm hand
we go to the bathroom in the morning to freshen up and I help you and in the evening then you’re comfortable fur the day and so am I knowing you’re ok
you know your mother better than anyone so it’s devising a plan or speaking to a health worker/doctor to explain and tell her
good luck
its not easy
What I do for my mother:
She wears Always Discreet Pullup Underwear - they're soft and come in pink if that helps.
Inside of the Pullup she wears Tena Sensitive overnight pad or Tena Sensitive Ultimate. They feel like cotton - very soft.
I change her pullup every morning and the pad every morning and evening unless it's soiled.
I use baby wipes from Walmart to clean her after every bathroom visit.
I use gloves 100% of the time because to me, pee and poop especially are bio hazards - even if it is my mother. Gloves also protect my mother from anything on my hands that could transfer to her.
She has had nary a problem - no UTI's or other issues.
Above is a link to a 3 pack of high absorbency leakproof women's incontinence panties. Cheap at the price considering the cost of repeatedly buying Depends at $26 a bag. IF you feel like washing soaked underwear constantly and IF mom is not stool incontinent.
There are going to many things mom doesn't like about both incontinence and dementia. If she is living with you, YOU get to set the rules down regardless of what she likes or doesn't like. Make life as easy as possible for YOU. Me, I would not want to be washing urine soaked underwear all day long so I wouldn't make them an option. And I'd buy anti strip clothing, if necessary, to insure mom would not be taking off the Depends too. Those suits are available on Amazon.
Good luck.