You can put your 98 year old mom to bed with a disposable nighttime Depends and check it at 5 am to see if it needs changing. To wake up 3-5x a night to use the commode is ruining the quality of sleep time for both of you. You can even look into a Purewick system but I'd try the Depends first.
When an elder lies in bed and the bladder flattens out, its common to feel the need for more frequent urination, the doctor explained to me years ago.
There are many bladder spasm medications that might help cut down on the frequency. I would check with her urologist about those. Also having her urologist put Botox in her bladder may help. You can also just have her wear Depends with an extra pad in it for absorption and tell her that she's just going to have to pee in them, and you can change them once overnight if needed. Just make sure that you have several waterproof pads under her so the bedding won't get wet. My late husband got up every hour on the hour to pee, and I too had to help him as he was a fall risk, and neither of us got any sleep for about 8 months. He tried the medications, Botox, and eventually had to get a supra pubic catheter put in. That was a Godsend and we both were finally able to sleep through the night. It's hard when you don't get enough sleep, this I know all too well. Please take care of yourself, and do whatever it takes to get some sleep again.
My mom used an "external female catheter" system called PureWick. That with washable plastic sheets worked well when she could not move after a bad fall (could not move herself in her own bed, much less get up to pee). Once she improved her strength, adult diapers and washable plastic sheets worked.
This device just sits at the person's bottom and automatically sucks up urine and deposits it into a receptacle that is emptied in the morning. One can subscribe (so a monthly supply) of parts arrive.
More on PureWick here: https://purewickathome.ca/how-it-works/
Purewick is great IF you can convince mom to stay in bed. My mom still needed me to tell her she had it on..as for meds not all types of incontinence has a solution....my moms condition {30 yr history} had all the latest testing and even botox injections failed. She pads heavily at night..a pull-up with a big overnight pad and rubber pants.. a large bed pad also. she can still get up 2x most nights to change top pad. Good Luck.
You haven’t mentioned why she needs help getting on the commode. Does she have a mobility problem? Is she incontinent? My 93 yr old mother is not incontinent but has a mobility problem from a prior stroke and now a broken ankle. I do the following things which work in our situation. My Mom can toilet herself independently at night because of these things. I don’t know if these are relevant without knowing why your mother needs assistance. My mother: * Stops drinking liquids at 7pm * Sleeps in a recliner lift chair * Has her walker on one side of the chair; bedside commode on the other side of the chair at a 90 degree angle * Has an absorbant pad under her, but no brief at night so she doesn’t have to pull down anything to get on the commode * Wears a short nightgown that allows her to just sit on the commode * Keeps her cell phone on a bedside table with my number ready to dial in case she needs to get me. * Has lighting from a nightlight so it’s semi dark but so she can see when she gets up to use the commode All these things are in place at night so that all my mother has to do is use her lift chair to help her get up, grab her walker (putting it in front of her), stand up, pivot and sit on the commode. When finished she stands and pivots back onto the chair. I’ve taught her to fold her blanket and get it to one side of her so that she can safely stand. She even handles an oxygen cannula - removing it and placing it over one of the handles of the bedside commode before she gets up.
In my opinion, sleep is more important to health and well-being than food.
My 96 yo mother woke both of us up 4 to 5 times every night for almost 3 years - to the point that I thought I was having a nervous breakdown.
So I put her on a schedule. She has to be up and in the kitchen from 11:30 until 5:30 (give or take a few minutes) so she can eat, drink etc. This helps her day/night rhythm and tires her out.
At bedtime I give her one CBD gummy (no THC).
Now she is sleeping most of the night - we may occasionally get up one time, but primarily she will sleep until 5:00/6:00 am before having to go to the bathroom.
And she does wear a depends with a very large overnight pad inside.
My mom wears Depends 24/7 “just in case” — her decision — but will not actually use them. We found oxybutynin (brand names Oxytrol, Ditropan) to be helpful in reducing urinary frequency. If the doc won’t prescribe, Magnalife Bladder Relief (available on Amazon) can also be helpful. I hope you’re both able to get some sleep soon!
my 91 yr old mom would get up by herself throughout the night to urinate (she had heart failure and was on diuretics). Then last year at age 90, she started having anemia/back issues and couldnt get out of bed which caused delirium(she called out for me every 5 min to turn her in bed) and needing assistance all night long (bathroom etc)and it was really hard to be up all night - this ended up with worsening everything and she died march 6 2023 - devastating me....your issue seems confined to just going to bathroom - does she restrict fluids after a certain hour or on diuretics? She could wear diapers but thats not great because of UTIs. What about the WICKs system - she can wear it at night and it sucks out the urine from a pad on her private parts.
It maybe she’s drinking a lot and after 6/8pm depending on when she’s going to sleep try not to give her slot but at least leave s small glass so she can sip in case of a fry mouth.
I agree with many of your answers below about limited fluids immediately before bedtime, but also will let you know that late sodium intake can cause retention of fluids; then, in an elder, when the feet are raised to the level of the heart the peripheral extremities begin to "let loose " of that accumulated fluid. So do limit sodium intake if there's no medical reason not to.
Sometimes an easy chair, a zero gravity lounger, in which the person can read or view TV for some few hours before bedtime helps.
Other than that I am flat out of ideas for you to try, but wish you good luck. And sorry the sleep for all is disturbed.
Ask doctor about medication to help those with hyperactive bladders - the meds calm her urgency and also help her hold urine longer. She may still have to have a potty break or 2 at night but both of you should get more sleep. Also consider placing incontinence pads on top of her mattress before bedtime. I like unscented dog pads or cutting up a king size waterproof mattress topper into fourths. She might also benefit from overnight incontinence briefs that can hold quite a bit of liquid.
CharMom: A few things come to mind - You could put overnight protection on your mother, e.g. Depends, Cut back on her intake of liquids much earlier in the day than normal and Perhaps she suffers from what is commonly known as OAB (Overactive Bladder) - urologists do offer rx relief for this condition, but considering your mother's age, may not be prescribed.
My husband has the same problem. We resolved it partially by him sleeping in his lift recliner with the bedside potty nearby every other night. The recliner is push botton electric and he can raise and lower it himself to get out. This allows me to sleep every other night without assisting him.
My wife has AD but she had a neurogenic bladder diagnosis a few years ago. She can't empty her bladder and used to result in frequent UTIs. Doctor suggested I cath her bladder before bedtime to prevent buildup. So he taught me how to do it (really simple ) and she doesn't have to get up at night! She did out of habit and I would remind her we just drained her and she layed back down! Another help was to give no liquids a few hours before bedtime!
Time for AL or nursing home if she is going to fall trying to get there . You can only go on so long, i did it 2 yrs and she got to where fell out of bed trying to get up almost broke hip, I'm 68 and couldn't lift and paramedics got tired of coming. You don't mention dementia, my mom had both. You can only go on so long having to practically sleep with her
My wife would get me up four or five times a night to urinate. My sleep pattern revolved around her having to get up to pee. I just did it faithfully. It wasn't fun but I did it as her husband. I had her on on diapers at the time. I would have to change her, clean her and replace her bedding, then go back to bed. This went on for weeks , until she started to get up by herself and get on her bedside commode and get back in bed. She is now more independent with this. It took patience and prayer to get me through this time in my caregiver experience. No one knows what I had to go through during that period. It's now only a memory. We do what we do because we must. Don't quit. Your faithfullness will be rewarded.
What kind of "checking for urinary issues" was done? By whom?
Why can't mom wear pull-ups for overnight?
When an elder lies in bed and the bladder flattens out, its common to feel the need for more frequent urination, the doctor explained to me years ago.
You can also just have her wear Depends with an extra pad in it for absorption and tell her that she's just going to have to pee in them, and you can change them once overnight if needed. Just make sure that you have several waterproof pads under her so the bedding won't get wet.
My late husband got up every hour on the hour to pee, and I too had to help him as he was a fall risk, and neither of us got any sleep for about 8 months.
He tried the medications, Botox, and eventually had to get a supra pubic catheter put in. That was a Godsend and we both were finally able to sleep through the night.
It's hard when you don't get enough sleep, this I know all too well. Please take care of yourself, and do whatever it takes to get some sleep again.
This device just sits at the person's bottom and automatically sucks up urine and deposits it into a receptacle that is emptied in the morning. One can subscribe (so a monthly supply) of parts arrive.
More on PureWick here: https://purewickathome.ca/how-it-works/
https://tranquilityproducts.com/product/tranquility-premium-overnight-disposable-absorbent-underwear-dau/
https://tranquilityproducts.com/product/tranquility-topliner-booster-pad/
https://www.mipinc.com/products/categories/underpads/patient-care-underpads/fusion%C2%AE-underpads.html?classid=75&searchString=pad
Of course, some people will not relax and will still insist on getting up if they feel the urge.
My mother:
* Stops drinking liquids at 7pm
* Sleeps in a recliner lift chair
* Has her walker on one side of the
chair; bedside commode on the
other side of the chair at a 90
degree angle
* Has an absorbant pad under her,
but no brief at night so she doesn’t
have to pull down anything to get
on the commode
* Wears a short nightgown that
allows her to just sit on the
commode
* Keeps her cell phone on a bedside
table with my number ready to dial
in case she needs to get me.
* Has lighting from a nightlight so
it’s semi dark but so she can see
when she gets up to use the
commode
All these things are in place at night so that all my mother has to do is use her lift chair to help her get up, grab her walker (putting it in front of her), stand up, pivot and sit on the commode. When finished she stands and pivots back onto the chair. I’ve taught her to fold her blanket and get it to one side of her so that she can safely stand. She even handles an oxygen cannula - removing it and placing it over one of the handles of the bedside commode before she gets up.
My 96 yo mother woke both of us up 4 to 5 times every night for almost 3 years - to the point that I thought I was having a nervous breakdown.
So I put her on a schedule. She has to be up and in the kitchen from 11:30 until 5:30 (give or take a few minutes) so she can eat, drink etc. This helps her day/night rhythm and tires her out.
At bedtime I give her one CBD gummy (no THC).
Now she is sleeping most of the night - we may occasionally get up one time, but primarily she will sleep until 5:00/6:00 am before having to go to the bathroom.
And she does wear a depends with a very large overnight pad inside.
Sometimes an easy chair, a zero gravity lounger, in which the person can read or view TV for some few hours before bedtime helps.
Other than that I am flat out of ideas for you to try, but wish you good luck. And sorry the sleep for all is disturbed.
Another help was to give no liquids a few hours before bedtime!
. You can only go on so long, i did it 2 yrs and she got to where fell out of bed trying to get up almost broke hip, I'm 68 and couldn't lift and paramedics got tired of coming. You don't mention dementia, my mom had both. You can only go on so long having to practically sleep with her