He is disabled and cannot work. He has other health issues also and it is becoming a burden for him to care for her. I am divorced and work full time and I cant afford not to work. Im trying to figure a way I can take her in and care for her but she isnt good to be left alone. I would have to pay for care (not cheap) or quit my job. Her SS would be the only income. I just have no idea what to do. Is it time for a home? she has some savings but no other assets so not even sure thats an option. I am 54 so may be difficult to reenter work force if needed. My thought live off her SS and our combined savings. But if savings gets depleted, and nursing home is needed later it may not be an option. Any advice??
My dad only had SS and he was 14.00 over the limit for receiving assistance. I was freaking out! I found a board and care home that he could afford. Because he could not afford a big facility and he wouldn't have utilized the amenities that cause such high rates.
He had to share a room and he was just fine. He actually loved his roommates and they became buddies, he had 2 different ones over the year. It worked out far better than I could have ever hoped for.
The local area on aging can give you resources for finding board and care homes in her area, or yours, wherever you want to have her. I think that they are called senior specialists and they will help you find a place that can meet her needs and that she can afford. The facility pays them a commission for placement, so it is a free service for you. I told them that he could afford several hundred dollars monthly less than he really could, they came back several hundred higher, so I recommend low balling or they will go higher than she can afford. It is a profitable business that makes them more the more you pay monthly. So beware of that, people will try to guilt you into paying the difference for her and you can not do that.
I actually had 2 looking for my dad, they each worked with different areas of town and I wanted to know what the prices were and services for each.
When I found the place that was financially the best option, I asked for and received a discount. Doesn't hurt to ask.
One other benefit was that he could age in place, unless he needed serious medical care and that was really important for me, I didn't want to have to keep uprooting him if his needs increased.
Please do not forsake your own wellbeing now or future, you have other options.
What will become of brother? When you speak with AAA you might see if there are services to help him out as well.
Often two folks needing help compliment one another’s abilities. So I’m sure he will miss having her in his home. Meals on Wheels or community Medicaid might offer him solutions that will allow him to live at home longer.
Here is a link for your area.
https://lancoaging.org/
Here's what I did. Mom had not quite 20k. In my State Medicaid allows 90 days from application to getting info needed and placing the person. I started the application in April, Mom was placed in a NH May 1st with her paying privately for May and June. I confirmed in June that Medicaid had everything they needed and Medicaid started paying July 1st.
If Moms savings is enough to get her in a NH for a few months I would do that to spend down her money and apply for Medicaid.
If her savings is small, Medicaid will allow to prepay for a funeral.
You need to find out what the monthly income cap is in your State. My state its a little over 2300. Some States allow for a Miller trust which any overage can be placed into.
Just the basics but it gives u an idea.
They are busy and I played phone tag here as well. I would leave messages that asked for specific information to be emailed and I would answer my phone, no matter where I was. You can tell your boss and they will probably be cooperative with you answering your phone at work.
Another resource is the social workers at rehabilitation facilities. They will talk to you and tell you what to search for to find these senior placement agents.
Things are opening up, so breathe and stay calm. This will all get sorted out without you having to forsake your life.
Maybe take mom on your days off to help ease the burden for your brother until you can get a facility or whatever else is available in your area.
Can you take two weeks FMLA to protect your job?
Have you had an honest talk with your employer? I can't imagine that you would be fired if you have a set time for resolving the living arrangements for your mom.
Maybe you could find a college student that needs to earn some extra cash to help you work part time.
I know that this feels huge and you feel like you don't have any choices or options but, you do. You have to think outside of the box and ask lots of questions, stay in communication with your employer and remember to breathe.
You can do this!