When I tell my mom I will not loan her money she gets very mad. She threatens to end her life and my father committed suicide a few years ago. This is emotional blackmail. She does this to control me and will not take no for an answer. I don't know what to do anymore. Please help.
Nothing morally wrong with recreational gambling but a gambling addiction is awful. Has your mom tried therapy? Maybe gambling anonymous isn’t a good fit for her. Encourage her to do therapy.
Jenn, maybe the two of you could do family therapy together. I hope it gets better for you soon. Hugs!
I am sorry that you are dealing with suicidal thoughts. No one wants to feel suicidal. There are some who will wrongly manipulate with threats of suicide but they don’t go through with it. Not the same thing. They are emotionally blackmailing others, which is an awful thing to do. Those with true suicidal thoughts aren’t trying to hurt others. Of course, it’s painful for the survivors but they weren’t intentionally targeted to be hurt. As many feel, a suicide attempt can be a cry for help.
Of course suicide isn’t selfish. Some people don’t understand the kind of pain that others are dealing with. I don’t know what the answer is to the darkest depression. I hope one day you will find peace.
I have lost family members, and friends to suicide and attempted suicide. I would never in a million years call them a coward or selfish.
I do know they were in tremendous pain that did not go away. I also know without a doubt that their suicide was not meant to hurt anyone else. They simply wanted the pain to end. They can’t feel anything else but their pain. Please know that I have the utmost compassion for you. In spite of what others believe it isn’t always a choice.
There is more light shed on this topic than in the past. More education is needed and many people have stepped forward to address issues related to suicide. Too many people care and I feel the issues will continue to be addressed publicly and we can hope others will learn compassion for those struggling with suicidal thoughts.
Sometimes it’s pain, mental illness, even physical illnesses, other times a person can become suicidal from psych drugs, etc. It’s not a black and white situation. There are lots of gray areas.
Overly religious people think a person will go to hell if they take their own life. I don’t believe that for a minute. The Jesus I believe in has mercy and compassion.
Sometimes it’s a cultural thing. I had a friend from Japan tell me rather than to shame their families, they do the honorable act of killing themselves. There is even a suicide forest in Japan where people go to commit suicide.
It’s an act of desperation because they see no other alternative. My uncle tried to commit suicide in the hospital by slicing his wrist and was damn angry that they saved his life. He suffered horribly with his cancer and knew he would not be cured. I understand that completely and told him I did. I never wanted him to feel shame about what he did. I wanted him to know he was loved.
Please know many people who have worked in the psychiatric field, those who work with suicide prevention, also work with survivors feel as I do. Some don’t agree and I suppose that is their right but the only thing it accomplishes is more hurt for the people suffering.
I am not directing this message towards anyone in particular, just in general how I feel about how suicide is viewed. Controversial, for sure.
So allow me to apologize for anyone who has hurt you, whether intentionally or not. I am sorry that you are hurting. I’m sure many others are as well. Take care, hugs!
Sparky, great post! There is a high suicide rate with gambling addicts. They feel there is no way out. So sad. Sometimes they have dug a hole too deep to get out. It’s a financial mess!
That shock of being cut off from her gambling might be a way to get her into counseling.