When I tell my mom I will not loan her money she gets very mad. She threatens to end her life and my father committed suicide a few years ago. This is emotional blackmail. She does this to control me and will not take no for an answer. I don't know what to do anymore. Please help.
Have you lent/given her money in the past?
When you say she is a compulsive gambler - in what sort of way does she gamble? Online? Visits casinos? Are we literally talking about classic gambling? There are support organisations for addicts and their families if this is what you mean.
I'm very sorry to hear that your father took his own life. This is such a big issue in its own right. How did you and your mother deal with that when it happened? Are there other family members also involved?
Then you say that your mother has your own business; which could be anything from a nominal company that's losing money but that she uses as an excuse for not getting a job, to a successful enterprise that pays a decent salary and she has run for many years. Could you narrow it down for us a bit?
When we look at the blackmail threat, it comes down to this: "pay me, or your mother will die and it will be all your fault." And the blackmailer has resources of her own, and the threat is a very cruel one. Don't you feel mad right back at her?
Your mother knows that your dad killed himself and she is using it to guilt and manipulate you...that my friend is the worst kind of "emotional blackmail." To use your dad's death to get what she wants...are you kidding me...that is wrong on so many levels! You deserve so much better.
Just my 2 cents!
Your mom is mentally ill. That's NOT YOUR FAULT.
Don't lend her money.
If you become impoverished, who is going to support you?