My mom is terrified of taking a shower. She lives in a great memory care unit and has loving caretakers but over the past few months will not take a shower. I helped with the shower last and she prayed the whole time that she could get through her shower! Broke my heart!! Does anyone have any suggestions on how we can get through this. Unfortunately there are no bath tubs to see if that would work. Thank you!
Is your Mom's skin very sensitive? Maybe it hurts when the forceful water hits her skin. Is the shower stall small in size? My Mom used to sit on a stool outside of the shower stall and put her feet in the stall and get her washcloth wet from the water falling from the shower head. My Mom had trouble using a hand held shower head.
Since your Mom lives in a Memory Care Unit, then I am wondering if her dementia is preventing her from understanding what exactly is going on when she is in the shower and whether that is what is causing her to be afraid of showers.
You and the nursing staff are going to have to get creative as to different ways to help your Mom take a bath. Could you put a large plastic storage tub on the floor in the shower stall, let your Mom put her feet in the water in the storage tub and dip her washcloth into the storage tub? Maybe use large plastic pitchers and pour water over her head and body during her bath instead of using shower head.
Many years ago when WWII veterans and survivors of the concentration camps were in USA nursing homes, we sometimes had residents who refused showers. These residents were usually Jewish descent who as a child (or young adult) had been in a concentration camp and saw and heard their friends and families die in the showers when the Nazis pumped poisonous gas into the shower rooms killing those inside. These people would only take tub baths and we respected their wishes and never made it an issue about refusing a shower bath. Is your Mom of Jewish descent? Does she have relatives who died in a shower room gassed by the Nazis? Just a thought.
Good Luck at finding a way to get your Mom to take a bath.
I'm assuming there's a shower seat in the shower area and that she can sit down? How does she get into the area? With a walker? Wheelchair? Try bringing her in a wheelchair, remove one of the arms and let her slide onto the shower bench, while bracing it yourself so that it doesn't move.
(There may be locking shower chairs; I haven't seen any but I would think that a sturdy shower chair would provide more stability and no slippage.)
If she's afraid of sliding onto the shower bench, forget that and move on to no rinse products. She can get cleaned up in her room and won't even need to go into the bathroom.
These no rinse products are used in hospitals and various care facilities. To my surprise, I actually did feel cleaner when I took a no rinse shower and shampoo while in a hospital for an appendectomy.
The products are expensive; but they're worth it if they avoid the terror of falling in a shower stall. I found some at Walgreen's.
They also don't require complete clothing removal; one body part can be washed while the remaining parts are kept warm. I think the complete disrobing as well as the chill are two of the main factors in showering, plus the larger and overwhelming issue of falling.
You can also make this a special event - play her favorite CD music, follow up with some pure lotions, friendly chatting, or something that makes her feel special. Turn it from a terrifying to a gratifying experience. Think of something you can do or give to her as a reward for her bravery, which in fact it is - I think older people with limited mobility can be terrified of showers, and bathrooms can in fact be dangerous areas.
A former poster, Maggie Marshall, made some good suggestions on bathing techniques and tricks. I couldn't find that particular thread right now, but you can use the search box and search on the terms "alternatves to bathing", "no rinse bathing", topics like that. I've found some for you:
These are some hits you can check out:
https://www.agingcare.com/search.aspx?searchterm=dry+rinse+products
https://www.agingcare.com/search.aspx?searchterm=bathing+alternatives
https://www.agingcare.com/search.aspx?searchterm=no+rinse+bathing
I have heard of this before and wondered if it could possibly similar to the brain condition in some rabid animals. NOT to imply anyone here has rabies but mearly a similar area of the brain becoming affected by dementia.
thanks again for great thoughts!
Does the facility have a hair salon? Maybe she could tolerate getting her hair washed there, plus a set and comb out, of course.
At least that might help some.
Your title post indicates that she's "terrified" of getting into the shower. That determination should be a clue that forcing her into the shower is not the solution. Put yourself in her place; would you want be forced into action that "terrifies" you?
Caregiving is an ongoing learning and adapting process. Ask the aides to explain no rinse and dry shampoo products to you.