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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
They’ve all passed away. Should I tell her the truth or tell her I’ve talked to them recently and make up a story about what they’re doing, something that they used to do?
Have you told her that the person she is asking about has died? If so what was her reaction? If she was upset then you do not tell her that any more friends or family have died. "Susie" is at the store" "Aunt Mary went to work today" "Bill can't visit today, he has a cold" Then after you have said something like that say something to acknowledge the person. "Aunt Mary has the prettiest hair, a lot like yours, lets fix your hair" Then begin a task that will take focus to something else.
When I made up stories about the dead relatives being busy or away on vacation, my mother with advanced dementia would get really mad and say, "YOU'RE FULL OF SH*T". She had a very sharp tongue.
When I told her they'd all died, she'd say, "YOU'RE FULL OF SH*T AND HIDING THEM ALL IN THE CLOSETS!"
Ativan worked rather well to calm mother's agitation.
Take out some old pictures and let her tell you stories of what they did in the good ol' days. When my daddy got really ill he tore a lot of the pictures out of the photo albums and would tell me stories. They live in the past and they want to be there again!
Fibbing is a good thing in this case. Just tell her something comforting, such as sister is on vacation, and change the subject. Mom will be asking the same question over and over no matter what you say. So why increase her stress and anxiety? (Your stress and anxiety over doing it is another thing entirely.)
Also, it's the kindest way to deal with it. I'm always in favor of that.
Is she asking to see them? Or just talking about them in general? Either way, I don’t think that I would bring up their death to her.
Some people say to be honest and tell them that they are dead. Others say that it will only cause them to grieve over and over again because they won’t remember what you told them.
I didn’t go through this with my mom. I’m sure that this is an unpleasant experience for you to deal with. I’m sorry that you are going through this.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If she was upset then you do not tell her that any more friends or family have died.
"Susie" is at the store"
"Aunt Mary went to work today"
"Bill can't visit today, he has a cold"
Then after you have said something like that say something to acknowledge the person.
"Aunt Mary has the prettiest hair, a lot like yours, lets fix your hair"
Then begin a task that will take focus to something else.
When I told her they'd all died, she'd say, "YOU'RE FULL OF SH*T AND HIDING THEM ALL IN THE CLOSETS!"
Ativan worked rather well to calm mother's agitation.
When my daddy got really ill he tore a lot of the pictures out of the photo albums and would tell me stories.
They live in the past and they want to be there again!
Also, it's the kindest way to deal with it. I'm always in favor of that.
Some people say to be honest and tell them that they are dead. Others say that it will only cause them to grieve over and over again because they won’t remember what you told them.
I didn’t go through this with my mom. I’m sure that this is an unpleasant experience for you to deal with. I’m sorry that you are going through this.