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My mom keeps dropping her cigarettes and I am afraid she is going to start a fire!



I want to move out SO bad but now that I have a real boyfriend that has suddenly become more possible



My brother is tired of me talking about love and my boyfriend and guess what?



I'm tired of HIM!



The only thing I have to comfort myself is the cartoon "SpongeBob SquarePants"



How do I cope with this?

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Marrying a convict boyfriend is like jumping from one prison to another. Choose your prison wisely.
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She is very likely to start a fire. And you could all die. So seriously, what are you going to do about is? This is so unsafe. Can you get her to quit? Get the patch? It's not OK. Not at all.

And if you have a boyfriend from jail and are going to get married - please stop! He is likely using you and you will be seriously hurt from this situation. Don't move from problems with your mom to problems with a man. Huge mistake. You need to be on your own.
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You're 29 years old and you still watch Sponge Bob Square Pants? I guess whatever floats your boat huh?
You have posted in the past, and if I remember correctly, your culture dictates that you care for your mom.
What does your new boyfriend think about having to care for your mom for the rest of his life if he stays with you? I think that would scare many a grown man away for sure.
You don't ever seem to take any of the advice given on here, so not sure why you keep asking for our help.
Until you and your brother move out and mom moves into an assisted living facility nothing will ever change. Period.

Oh Lord! I just saw your last post where you say that once your boyfriend gets out of prison you're going to marry him. My guess is that nothing you've ever written is real and that you perhaps come on here just for fun and because you're bored.
And if what you write is real, how very sad that you are willing to settle for a criminal just to get out of your moms house.
Please get yourself some good therapy as you my dear have more issues than any of us on here can help you with.
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tygrlly1 Jan 2023
She obviously has a cognitive disability and is being preyed upon by this jailbird. Your very first sentence is very cruel and ignorant.

She is reaching out for help and you may have closed that door she so needs to reach throug with your snarky remarks. Have a little compassion.
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I read this post--and excuse me--I thought it was written by a 10 yo! No offense intended at all--it just rang 'funny' with me.

I hope, sincerely that you're joking about SpongeBob,. If FT caregiving doesn't turn your brain to mush, that show won't help.

You really want things to change? The GET OUT of the house, minimally, get mom some alternative care during the day and get out and go to school (if you have no formal training for anything--time to start!) Do NOT lean on a BF for anything but a shoulder to cry on--and even that? Gets old real fast. My DH didn't want to hear one word about my issues with my mom--it's not that he didn't CARE--he just couldn't DO anything.

You need to be a whole person on your own before jumping into a relationship that sounds kind of like your only escape---and even then, if you and BF want to live together or get married, your mom is a huge stumbling block.

Did I read correctly that your BF is in Prison????????????? Huge, Huge HUGE red flag. You ever watch 'Love after Lockup?' (it's a piece of trash show that follows inmates as they search for love either as an inmate or a someone who's waiting for them outside.)

Not surprisingly, it NEVER works out. NEVER. Please think better of yourself and try to get out of this CG nightmare so you can have a semblance of a life.
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Since you like watching television, try watching the Love After Lockup and/or Love During Lockup series on WE TV. That should give you a sobering wake-up call about what life with an ex prisoner/con man is REALLY like. You have a fantasy built up in your head based on phone calls & letters; the reality is, a prisoner has been locked up behind bars for X amount of years with NO exposure to real life. Once he gets out, all hell breaks loose when he IS exposed to reality. Your ideas and his are two opposing viewpoints. I'm sure I won't get that message through to you, but maybe the women involved with real prisoners on this series WILL.
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Could you find a group home for people who have your disability? Ask the person who’s helping you if this is a possibility.
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A man is not a financial plan.

Call Fire Brigade straight away if your house catches fire..

My 2c of advice.
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Watch more cartoons?
Put more ashtrays around the house?
Hide mom's cigarettes?
Move out?
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Get help for mom. Get help for yourself. Lose the boyfriend.

Oh, keep a fire extinguisher nearby.

Hope life gets better for you.
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What does Cathy say about the inmate bf? (Cathy is the woman who has been teaching OP and her brother to learn to live independently of their mother.)

Really, a job should have come before a bf.
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