My Mom passed on Monday and my sisters are at each others throats...I need advice please!

I am so sorry this is happening.. but as I just funeralized my mother on July 08,2020.

I say get through this period and carry out your mom's wishes as best as you can. Let those two deal with their own mess.

I pray your continued strength and peace in the mist of this process.

I'm sorry for your loss. A lot of comments suggest you ditch both sisters, but I see your older sister just trying to live her life -- like you; she's trying to avoid drama, too. I see no reason to turn your back on OS to "prove" to YS that you're not taking sides. I've been in that situation, and it hurt a lot when family shunned me because my YS blamed me for an event I had nothing to do with.

To bring this back to you, I'm pleading a case for OS as a victim of YS's anger. It sounds like you can still enjoy OS in your life while YS gets over herself, if she chooses to. Please consider staying with your plan, ignoring YS's tantrum as though it were not your problem. Which it isn't. God bless.

I don’t have much advice except to say my father also passed away on Monday. I am very sorry for your loss. This whole process is hard enough without all that extra drama. Just try to do the best you can knowing you did what you could - you’re not responsible for either of your sisters. I’m so sorry.

I would just tell both sisters they are giving you a lot of anxiety and you just want to get through the funeral without any drama. Then I would continue with your plans as they are. This is time you need to grieve. Your younger sister needs to grow up.

So sorry for your loss! Losing a mother is devastating especially for daughters. I just lost mine as well 5/17/2020 due to CoVID 19. Heartbreaking. I only have a brother 16 months younger than myself. We have totally different personalities. I am calm and my brother is uptight. We fight all the time. He is very difficult to have a conversation with on the telephone. I live 5,500 miles from him and where my Mother's retirement home was. I have been just been calm, not let it affect me and know I just need to get through cleaning her place, burial and completing her estate stuff and will only have to deal with him when I want to in the future. So this is the light to the end of the tunnel. If you can be stay positive and not be reactive to your sisters complaining. Yes easier said than done. Your Mother would want you to get along and celebrate her life at this time. Also keep in mind everyone is grieving and they deal with it differently. You can only control you and no one else. Good luck and my deepest condolences!

Oh wow a d so sorry for your loss and the drama. Unfortunately this happens all the time. You do you and don't fret because of the way they feel. They will regret it later for their choices. And unfortunately this is not over. Until every tid bit is gone of your moms, their will be strife.

Oh wow a d so sorry for your loss and the drama. Unfortunately this happens all the time. You do you and don't fret because of the way they feel. They will regret it later for their choices. And unfortunately this is not over. Until every tid bit is gone of your moms, their will be strife. Wish there was better information to give.

First, I want to offer my sympathy and condolences on the passing of your mom. I know what you are feeling and experiencing because I my mom passed away on the 9th of May and I am in a similar situation as yours. If you would like to talk or need me to listen I would be more than happy to. Perhaps we can help each other.

I have two sister's as well, but I was the sole care giver and the youngest of the girls, had one brother younger. I too thought too much about those who didn't deserve to be thought of, and was cast about as the scapegoat for their selfish, self-absorbed, and careless behavior throughout the last years of my mother's life and greed to get their inheritance ASAP when she passed. You no longer have to worry about keeping everyone happy at the expense of your mental health, and need to look at what it means when your mother dies. I tried to keep my family happy for my mother's sake, I knew it meant a lot to her, I sacrificed my happiness, my life, my freedom and my future to take care of her, and do what needed to be done to keep my sisters happy. Well, they never cared about anyone but themselves, they took whatever my mother and I gave and kept coming back for more, when the time came that my mother needed them, they didn't have anything they would give her in return. So, if you worry whether they attend or get involved with the drama, you aren't responsible for their bad behavior. You do what needs to be done for your mother, you pay your respect to your mother, and you attend your mother's funeral, be your mother's legacy. So, when those who come to pay their respects to your mother, you will be there to listen and share, that is all you can do now for your mother. Your not alone, you are never alone, family is not always who shares your blood, sometimes family comes when you find those who care and stay by your side just because they want to, and they know you need them. They don't ask for anything from you in return, and they give selflessly and stand with you in your time of need. Just open your heart and eyes, they will come, and you will know your mother did not leave you alone in this world. I'm sorry for your loss, I'm excited for your future. Godspeed.

Hopeful4me, how are you doing?

Was your mom's funeral closure for you and a time of peace to say goodbye? I hope for your sake that it was.

I am sorry for the loss of your mother. That situation must be very stressful to deal with. If your efforts to make peace between your siblings are not successful, try not to dwell too much on it. There's only so much you can do. Use this time to grieve over your loss and remember the good times with your mother. The memories are always there to carry with you everywhere. I would like to share a nice article that may help you during this time. It offers good, practical advice on how to deal with stress. https://www.jw.org/finder?srcid=jwlshare&wtlocale=E&prefer=lang&pub=g20&issue=202003 I hope you find it helpful. Take time for yourself too.

I am so so sorry you having to experience this! I wish I could be there with you as support. My mother had the same problem when my grandmother was in the hospital. Four of her sisters ganged up on her because of the decisions she made, as the oldest, regarding my grandmother's health. My mother ended up with walking pneumonia because of the stress and not being able to rest. Future get togethers were tense for awhile. Thankfully, they were able to reconcile before my mother passed in August 2019. They were all at her funeral. I pray that you and your sisters will be able to work through whatever the issues are before it's too late. May you feel God's presence and peace in the days to come. I will be thinking about you and your sisters.

I am sorry for your loss and pray that you will be still in contact with your sister either way.

Maybe attending alone will allow you to grieve, and maybe tune into your own emotional needs, without the distraction of siblings with problems that you can't fix. I really can't think of how you would benefit from their attendance, if their rhetoric causes you to feel stressed and anxious. You may want the support of family at such a time, but is that something they do?

Being alone isn't necessarily a bad thing, and it beats being in the middle of so much negativity. In the future, just refuse to engage. It's very inconsiderate and unfair of them to burden you and maybe it's best they stay away from each other, even forever. It's not your failure, after all.

Hello: I know this probably won't matter, but family sucks when it comes to tragedy. My dad passed Oct., 2018. My parents have been divorced 30yrs. I've never seen my mom go through such stress, anxiety with us. Obviously, she still loved my dad despite everything else. I also am a middle child. A brother above me & a sis underneath me. 6 yrs under. My sus and i no longer talk. My dad's ira was left to my sister. Who knew. She gave my brother and i some, but decided to keep the rest. I've been grieving all alone along with attending to his property. I was appointed executor. Almost 2 yrs and estate in limbo cuz of Corona. I wish i could. keep money from her. Prayers to you and ur sisters!