We do have a caregiver who comes twice a week for 4 hours each time. She works for a caregiver company but does this for us on her own and I pay her. I need more help. My husband has Alzheimer's disease. I am swamped. My sister-in-law sits with my mom when I have dr. appts., etc. Any advice? I am burned out and have been in the hospital ER twice with anxiety attacks.
If so, you will have to decide whether your health/your life is worth preserving her funds, or not.
This is the fact. Caring for one LO with multiple symptoms is physically and emotionally VERY DIFFICULT.
Now double that. You not only need more help, you MUST have more help. If you CHOOSE any other solution, you are heading to your own decline.
You and YOUR WELFARE need to be more important than the are (in your own mind) at present.
You appear to be choosing to keep your mother in your home as opposed to placing her in the best residential setting you can find. Why is that? Who is benefiting from her being there?
Will you be any worse off if/when you need residential care?
Hoping you will very soon develop solutions that will allow YOU to live in ways that give you more safety peace and balance, for you and for those whom you presently love and care for.
I know you have thought of what if something happens to you, what will they do?
That’s no doubt why you are having panic attacks.
Remember that every layer of help will make life more manageable.
1. Take some of moms money and visit a certified elder attorney well versed in Medicaid for your state. You will feel so much better just having a plan of action.
2. Hire extra help while you figure this out with the attorney.
3. If your mom is on original Medicare, contact a home health agency and ask that she be evaluated for services. You can find a list on Medicare.gov. If she qualifies as homebound who needs less than 24/7 skilled nursing, then she can get a nurse in weekly to set up her pill planner, take her vitals and help with her health issues. Additionally she can get a bathing aide at least weekly and PT, OT as needed. The bathing aide can change her linens, even heat a meal on occasion. Your moms doctor will need to write a prescription for the home health but the home health can help you with that. Just get the process in motion by calling them. You aren’t looking for the HH service that is available after a hospital or rehab stay and only lasts a few weeks. You are looking for the HH that is available for the homebound. My mom had it for years. My aunt had it for years and has now been switched over to the hospice group where she gets more services. This is not MediCAID, but is MediCare. Your mom may also be eligible for hospice which will give you more frequent services and supplies.
4. Hire a housekeeper if you don’t already have one. Even if they only come once a quarter, it can really help.
5. Check out meals on wheels if it’s available in your area.
6. Consider adult day care. At least check it out.
7. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging for services that might be available.
Best of luck to you and so good that you are looking for help.
Big Hugs.
I just went to the Medicare site and as I read it they do not supply in home services longterm. "Temporarily or intermittent" are the words they use.
https://www.medicare.gov/coverage/home-health-services#
They have a nice booklet that can be printed off.
The intermittent part is how much skilled nursing HH will provide. Less than 24 Hr skilled nursing.
This benefit is for anyone with this insurance who is homebound and needs LESS than 24 hour skilled nursing but they do need “intermittent’ skilled nursing. They aren’t available without some nursing. In other words they won’t just send out a CNA for baths. Checking the vitals, setting up the pill planner, listening for bowel sounds, doing blood work, wound care, collecting a urine sample for a UTI test, following CHF, etc these are all skilled nursing and not CNA tasks. But if skilled nursing is needed, then bathing aides can also be provided.
On the link you posted, look under who is eligible, at the bottom of that section is an explanation about “homebound”. The description of Alex’s mom doesn’t sound like mom can easily leave home on her own. It doesn’t mean she can’t leave home ever. There are exceptions. But because she is classified homebound, she does not have to leave home to get these routine medical services that a skilled nurse can provide in her home.
I’ve been with the same HH for I know over 10 years. First with my mom, now aunt. when I say I have been with them, I mean the same agency has provided ongoing services one benefit period after another, without interruption, for many years.
There is a bit of confusion on this site on this subject. There are a couple of responders (maybe more) who have worked for HH agencies and didn’t believe this service was available when I have suggested it. I can only speak to my own experience.
If Alee’s mom has original Medicare, this is a benefit she has been paying for and is entitled to regardless of how much money she has in the bank.
I always feel negligent not to mention it when I read a thread like this one where I know it could make a difference.
You need more caregiving service to help take care of your mother. You can hire private caregivers and pay them out of her money and keep the state out of it and out of your business.
Or you can spend down every dollar and assets she has first and then Medicaid will pay for it.
Give private hiring a try first. You can negotiate the pay with private caregivers. This might work for you and your mother.
not worth your health , mental and physical…
my moms sale of her mobile home was her tiny egg nest for her care. It’s been almost 2 years and I am now moving my mom from another state to my area. What I know now , in my area , there are multiple AL that have a self pay clause, that if they self pay for , 1 or 2 or 3 years (depending on the AL requirements) when going on Medicaid, resident can stay in their apartment and not share.. my mom should just make the one year mark in the AL she is moving too.
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