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She has vascular dementia and lately has started having hallucinations and has been angry a few times. A large part of most days she’s ok, but otherwise suffers from anxiety and loneliness. She is recently on abilify and buspar.
her room now is close to the smoking hut and since she has claustrophobia, she spends most nice days outside. Once she is in memory care she’ll have to wait for an aid to be able to escort her outside. Maybe 3 times a day. I don’t know how to explain the move to her and whatever I tell her will be forgotten so I’d like to have a good , short thing to say, as I will be repeating it several times a day.

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KerryK, when my Dad needed to move into Memory Care from his apartment in Independent Living (same facility), I told him it was less expensive (therapeutic fib) and Dad was always agreeable when it came to saving money :)


At first it was tough trying to move in whatever furniture he needed as going from a 2 bedroom apartment into just a room the size of a bedroom wasn't easy for me to arrange. Thankfully all his bookcases fit, and that was all he was worried about.


By setting up this bedroom size suite, which had a small kitchenette, I tried to arrange the bed and dresser the same way he had it in the apartment, which was the same way he had it at home. That way when he woke up at night and wondered where he was, seeing his tall dresser where it was gave him comfort.
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Reply to freqflyer
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Many years ago, my Dr. prescribed Buspar. That medication caused me to have strange hallucinations. My Dr. verified that this was a side effect.
This has nothing to do with your question, but I thought it was worth mentioning, since your Mom is taking it.
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Reply to Janus12
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You will not be able to explain it to her. Have her items moved to her new location as she is out on an activity of some kind. then just take her to her new place. Make sure that whoever moves the items - furniture, chairs, pictures are placed as they were in the old place so as not to confuse as much as possible. Upon arrival make statements like - ah great to be home, isn't it nice to be in your home, ah look at this nice comfy chair, lets get a treat out of your cupboard, lets have a treat here at your table. Just continue to emphasize YOUR.
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Reply to Ohwow323
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How about simply “you have enough complaints that they agreed we could try this section out” or something to that effect.
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Reply to Lymie61
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I would first work on making sure she is on the appropriate meds in the appropriate combination and dosage. This can certainly change over time, as one's body and symptoms change.

You are correct in that she will most likely not remember so do not bother trying to reason her through an explanation. Tell her whatever therapeutic fib works to keep her calm day by day. Make sure the staff is in on it.

You do not have to keep repeating it. Practice distraction and redirection. Bring things for her to look at: pics on your phone, items from home, something on the tv, go for a walk, etc. Get creative.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Buspar was created so you wouldn’t get addicted. It’s about as effective as benedryl. Frankly addiction is not a concern anymore. Try Ativan Or Xanax instead. And as for abilify, thats not strictly a antipsychotic like seroquel designed to lessen visual or auditory hallucinations.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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Tell her it is cheaper.
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Reply to TxPonyGirl
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MissesJ Jul 16, 2024
L🤣L—this would definitely work for a lot of our parents (theoretically)!
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I like the idea of “they’ve heard your complaints and think this would be better for you.” Or just move her stuff. End of story.
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Reply to Lmkcbz
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Tell her that her AL room needs to be redecorated, the window needs fixing, or some other reason why she has to move temporarily. With luck, she'll forget what's going on.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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You can't explain to her. So just move her stuff into the new area and that's the end of it.

I do like the idea of telling her it's cheaper though. It can't hurt.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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