She has vascular dementia and lately has started having hallucinations and has been angry a few times. A large part of most days she’s ok, but otherwise suffers from anxiety and loneliness. She is recently on abilify and buspar.
her room now is close to the smoking hut and since she has claustrophobia, she spends most nice days outside. Once she is in memory care she’ll have to wait for an aid to be able to escort her outside. Maybe 3 times a day. I don’t know how to explain the move to her and whatever I tell her will be forgotten so I’d like to have a good , short thing to say, as I will be repeating it several times a day.
I also would ask about medication for anger.... memory care/ AL should be on top of this.....
Good luck...
Check on what is in your area.
This has nothing to do with your question, but I thought it was worth mentioning, since your Mom is taking it.
At first it was tough trying to move in whatever furniture he needed as going from a 2 bedroom apartment into just a room the size of a bedroom wasn't easy for me to arrange. Thankfully all his bookcases fit, and that was all he was worried about.
By setting up this bedroom size suite, which had a small kitchenette, I tried to arrange the bed and dresser the same way he had it in the apartment, which was the same way he had it at home. That way when he woke up at night and wondered where he was, seeing his tall dresser where it was gave him comfort.
But first...her anger. Is she becoming violent to the point that it puts her or other residents or staff at risk of injury?
Talk to her doctors about adjusting medication to eliminate the hallucinations and manage the anger.
If the anger and hallucinations can be managed there might not be a reason to move her.
If that has already been tried and the move is inevitable no amount of explaining will help and the staff should be able to get her outside. (the facility should have a locked outdoor area that the residents can access themselves) I would think on nice days they would want the residents outside anyway.
However, the OP can be an advocate and make sure that the facility is aware of the claustrophobia and the mother's need to get outside.
Would not be surprised if she gets pissed.
Let's be thankful that there are places where we or our loved ones can be looked after and kept safe when we're no longer able to do so.
I do like the idea of telling her it's cheaper though. It can't hurt.
You are correct in that she will most likely not remember so do not bother trying to reason her through an explanation. Tell her whatever therapeutic fib works to keep her calm day by day. Make sure the staff is in on it.
You do not have to keep repeating it. Practice distraction and redirection. Bring things for her to look at: pics on your phone, items from home, something on the tv, go for a walk, etc. Get creative.