How do we get her out of our home. We have severe born out. We do hire people to stay with her. She won't do any activities. She has Medicaid and Medicare. She knows her rights thanks to a family member
She has ruined our marriage, our health suffers. I had a heart attack. The Social Worker will find her a place she can take her dog. She refuses to go. We can't take care if her any longer..we are at witt's end. Help
You might also tell her that by not using the walker/cane, she is putting herself at high risk for a fall. Once that happens, she will have no say so in where she lives because it will all be determined by medical providers and her ability to walk after an accident. Ask her how she would feel about laying in a bed all day, unable to get around on her own, and waiting for someone to answer a call bell.
Will social worker talk to her about you no longer being able to take care of her in the home? Let her do some of the dirty work. She can explain your heath issues and why it's not in your best interest. Possibly show her what she has found for places to take her and the pet.
Meanwhile, wait for her to fall and call ems. Once admitted to a hospital she will be assigned a case worker who can help you get her into the appropriate place.
Whose life is more important? Some might argue both, possibly. I would say caregiving should not be about sacrificing your health or your life!
Time to put yourself first. You have every right and responsibility to yourself.
You had heart attack, your own physician should be first person to say no stress or strenuous activities.
longer care for MIL and there is going to be no more outside help coming .
I’m assuming the social worker has already determined that MIL can’t live alone since you posted that the social worker can find her a place . Hopefully the social worker can arrange to have her removed from your home by a big scary dude .
( I was in a similar situation as well with my mother when a family member did the same thing . I had a social worker come from APS and she determined Mom could not be home alone , she needed 24 hour supervision . A week before the social worker was due to come back with the scary dude to take mom out of the house, my dumb sister told my aunt . My aunt called up my mother and told her that her kids were dumping her in a nursing home and that she didn’t have to go. Mom ended up having a mini mental breakdown on top of her Dementia. Called 911 , Mom wouldn’t go ,so EMTs left . Then mom said she had chest pain. Called 911 again , this time they took her to the ER. No heart attack , but I told them the story. They admitted her for observation . From there she went to her room at AL that she was scheduled to go to.)
Or if the social worker says she is safe to live on her own which I doubt, you start eviction notice.
Or family member with big mouth takes her in .
You have rights , it’s your house .
Ask the SW if you can turn MILs care over to the State. The State will assign her a guardian.
Or like Barb says, take a vacation. Tell her she needs to go into respite care but really your placing her in LTC.
If she doesn’t leave, tell she’s an old person who needs to leave immediately.
Whatever works! You and your husband aren’t required to provide her with a home. I hope you find a solution to this problem soon.
Time for you and hubby to go on vacation - I like that idea. If is safe for her to be alone, then do that. Otherwise, hire more care and do not be available to her for ruining your vacation. Or have her go to respite care.
So sorry for your very difficult situation.
What's she going to do -- file a lawsuit for wrongful eviction??
We don't know how to deal with her bad behaviour. Does a medical durable poa allow us to place her anywhere?
I 'love' that at 97 she's worried she'll look old. Good grief!
Do you or your spouse still work? If yes, good as it helps with one's sanity. I was still in my 70's and continued with my career, same with my spouse. Work was also a good "excuse". Oh, the stress is still there because the weekends are no longer fun weekends... [sigh].
Many of us here had to wait for a medical emergency where 911 is called, parent goes into the hospital, then into rehab, and then into senior living. That was the only way I was able to get my own Mom [also was in her late 90's] to go into senior living, she had a bad fall because she also wouldn't use walker or her cane. Dad was the opposite, he sold their house after Mom passed as he wanted to move into senior living.
Book a month long absence. (Vacation, cruise, cheap motel, Airbnb)
Report her to Adult Protective Services as a vulnerable adult.
If she is found to be competent, start eviction proceedings.
Unless she is living in her own home and you've moved in with her.
In that case, simply leave.
My husband is her only son. YES, my husband is adament on her leaving as I am.
Send her to the helpful family member.