My mother is 93. My father passed 10 years go. If my mother runs out of money, are her children responsible for her care?

Who is POA? That person is CURRENTLY responsible for safeguarding mom's finances IF she is medically incompetent to do so.

In the case of any aid from governmental programs such as medicaid there will be lookback of anywhere from 2 1/2 years (California) to 5 years on mom's finances. She will need her records to apply and if it is looking like she squandered and "gifted" funds she will not get coverage.

As to the family being responsible certain states have what are called "filial laws" in which family can be held responsible for helping with bills of the elder. These laws are almost NEVER implemented, and would only be in the cases of wealthy wealthy children. I cannot find anywhere a recent case where these laws were used.

Are you her POA? For Health as well as Finances?
I certainly would not trust "strangers" (read that as non family members and or AL staff) to write checks and have access to her bank account information.
I would suggest that if you are her POA you stop this ASAP.
If you are her POA for finances you should have access to all her account information including Stocks, Bonds....
If your mother has dementia it may be to late to get her to assign POA. You or a sibling, if you want it, may have to obtain Guardianship.
If no one wants Guardianship and she is not competent then the Court will appoint a Guardian. At that point the court appointed Guardian will take over the health and financial aspect of her care.

What is she writing checks for? Is she still managing her own finances?

No, you are not responsible to take care of her, but you can expect to have social workers and nurses try to get you involved when the time comes. If you are going to be involved, you will need to have access to her assets, either as financial POA or co owner of all her accounts. You will need access to pay her bills. You will need to get this done before she becomes not competent. If you don't, you won't be able to access her money. You will also be able to apply her for Medicaid when she does run out of money.

As far as you being responsible for hands on care, absolutely not. Ideally you will want to get POA, apply her for Medicaid and place her in a long term care facility.
Then you are somewhat overseeing her care. If you don't get POA and access to her money though, none of that is possible. Social worker may at that point urge you to file for guardianship, but you don't have to do that if you don't want to (that also costs money). If you don't, at that point, she will likely be given over to the State and the state will have complete control over where she lives and is not obligated to include you in anything.

But to answer your question if you and your brothers are responsible, no you are not. If you don't get involved though, you will have no control over what becomes of mom.

mstrbill: Yes, I think it was the New York Times. But these legal predators can sure make your life difficult...and they may count on the "psychology" of some people, who just want to be left alone in peace, and unfortunately will pay to achieve that.

Collections Agencies will try to get money out of anyone they can. And there are strict laws about what they say and do. I worked in Collections for private companies. The people I collected from were customers who we worked with to get our money. We needed their business and some, because of bad credit, needed us. I was allowed legally to do much more than agencies. The laws for collection agencies are much stricter. The consumer has rights.

No, you will not be responsible for her care. Even with filial laws, a child will not be impoverished to care for a parent. Very few States even have these laws and are writing them off the books because they are pre-Medicaid.

The scam should be reported to the police so its on record. Are you estranged from Mom? Does anyone have POA because I too don't think its smart to have checks where they can be stolen or credit cards. If Mom has any metal decline, someone should at least have the ability to pay her bills.

When she starts running out of money then Medicaid is applied for. See if her State Medicaid will pay after she pays privately for 2 yrs and if her AL excepts Medicaid. The AL director should be able to give you that info. If she can't remain at the AL, then its Medicaid in Long-term facility or a Board and Care. Application has to be done when she only has enough money for 2 or 3 months.

https://www.alz.org/illinois

You and your brothers need to hire an Elder Law Attorney (with her funds) to get guidance on planning Mom's future as a person without funds........bring her bank statements (make everything autopay) and ask for help in applying for Medicaid,

Check your state for Familial Laws…Virginia has them…

If the AL is private pay, when the money runs out she will have to go to a medicaid facility. You should talk to them. It's not a good idea to have the people at the AL write checks for her. They are not to be trusted AT ALL!!! My mother is in AL and they stole some of her jewelry 🙄. I keep her checkbook at my house. I am her POA and pay her bills. Talk to an attorney. The sooner the better.

Your brother with financial POA who won't do anything to help: is he aware that she has been scammed twice to the tune of several thousand dollars, and that she is allowing others access to her credit card and check book?

Nobody has to accept power of attorney, but if you have done then you have accepted a duty to use it. Your brother seems to have missed that bit. It may not make him liable for supporting your mother if she runs out of money but it will leave him with a lot of explaining to do as to why he didn't intervene. Why won't he?

Take away her checkbook. If you need to lie and say the bank said the account was compromised and you are waiting on new checks do it.

I am so tired of old people giving money to scammers. And when adult children try to help they are viewed by the same senior as trying to scam them.

Filial laws are not enforceable. Your mother doesnt get to squander her money and then the state steps in and forces you pay for her care and living expenses. Nope. Sorry not happening.

Seem your mother cannot manage her spending.Take that checkbook away from your mother and keep it at home. Her family is not responsible for her care. Have her condition evaluated by a doctor about managing her care. Does anyone have POA? Contact an elder attorney now before Mom runs out if her funds to apply for Medicaid.

G-d forbid.

Most importantly, make a pledge to yourself now that if the worst somehow comes to pass (that your mother does run out of money), that you as the only daughter don't end up taking your mother home to live with you. Often (usually?) the daughter is the one who gets saddled with caregiving. Your POA brother would probably refuse -- don't YOU step up!

Is mom in some way incapacitated? If not, then POA's are not good for much. Each financial institution has its own forms to allow another to manage her finances.

You are not responsible for your mother. If she runs out of money then its time to file for Medicaid and get her into a place.

Prayers

Nope. No no no. The checkbook must be taken from her and out of that facility. Her CC too. Tell her the card is expired and you are waiting for a new one. Get her a pre-paid debit card that you load monthly so she has a little spending cash. Have the bills sent to you and you pay them from her account. Get on line with her passwords for all accounts and set alerts that go to your phone when a transaction over a certain amount is trying to post. You can decline it for credit cards right from your phone. And VERY important….freeze her credit so nobody can take out a CC or a loan for her, or for themselves in her name.

Holy Moly!!! Who has POA? Who in the family is looking out for this 93 year old’s best interests?! The facility people are writing checks and have access to her finances?! That is a recipe for disaster. Someone in the family (if they are able and care about her) needs to step up and take over the checkbook. That doesn’t mean she can’t be involved in seeing it (if appropriate) but facility staff or just anyone who comes along should NOT be allowed to handle/manage her finances. If she has no one or won’t accept anyone then contact state agencies for help but this is just asking for her to be financially exploited.
The POA should always sign the person’s name not their own name except to add “by (POA name), POA/Agent
I have heard stories of payments being solicited from family members. Anything is possible I suppose but I don’t see how it could possibly be legal to try to hold family members responsible for expenses incurred by another family member unless they are a married couple. Under that scenario a long lost financially irresponsible brother who winds up in a facility could financially ruin his/her siblings? Not happening.

Legally, no but there are things you can do now to try and prevent that from happening. There are also things you can do if down the line she does run out of money. If she has a POA that person can offer to take over the checkbook and money managing, if there isn’t a POA then one of her children. This could be sensitive for her if she hasn’t already asked one of her children so I would go slow with limiting her spending, you will be protecting her from more scams and she will have a filter for where her money is going but I wouldn’t say yes or no to things she wants to spend money on and approach what should be no’s with questions and talk it through. A discussion about what happens if she does run out of money and why that is a real possibility if SHE isn’t selective about her expenditures letting her come to the final decision. This might even mean letting her give Sally $100 for something once or twice so she feels she still has control. Also document the scams, hope you filed a police report on her behalf and remind her of the repercussions should she get to the end of her money and need to apply for Medicaid, there is a look back.

Just to be prepared find out if her current facility takes Medicaid and if they will oversee the process of applying for it should she get to that point. You may find they don’t have Medicaid beds or that she will need to move to another section and these are things that may be good to remind her of if there are times that she’s making bad financial moves. It’s a choice.

While her children aren’t legally responsible for her financially usually children want what is best for their elderly parents and at least try to take on some responsibility for helping them get the safest, best care in their final years. I may have overstepped or assumed here in getting into the things you can do to help rather than just answer your question, if so my apologies. Good luck!

I was a son taking care of my mom. She was always in charge of the family finances growing up, and did a great job budgeting the modest income she and my dad made. As her condition changed, I began taking over the bill paying (most via online accounts). For those bills needing checks, I wrote them out and had her sign them. Each month, I reviewed the bank statement with her. There were no trust accounts, stocks, etc., just SS. I was her POA for medical/financial. I also made sure she received Medicaid (it was a lengthy process requiring much documentation), which was a godsend in helping me keep her safe and content at home.

While I respect the opinion being made by some of those commenting that you have no responsibility, the fact you are asking the question indicates you are very concerned, as you should be. I would have never allowed someone else to have control over my mom's finances.

I suggest you discuss the situation with an attorney pronto to see if any charges are warranted against those involved in scamming your mom. I would also touch base with your state/county office for the aging and county dept. of social services, regarding your state's Medicaid process. Good luck.

Renee777, I think to protect yourself from future horrible hassles, YOU need to see an Elder Law Attorney immediately. The attorney will advise you how to deal with a POA brother who won't intervene on financially scamming being done to your Mom.. BTW the fraudulent spending WILL count against your mother qualifying for Medicaid, during the 'look back period'. The Elder Law Attorney can advise you how to proceed. He might have to send a warning letter to your irresponsible POA for Finances brother. The scamming abuse of your mother must stop. Bank accounts will need to be closed, credit cards cancelled, and your Mom needs a "Credit Freeze" (This involves writing to the 3 Credit Bureaus) as there will likely be credit cards opened in your mother's name (scammer already has your mom's Soc.Sec., I am sure, plus birthday, address, etc). This has to be halted and an attorney will advise you on a plan to shut down avenues of your mother being robbed/scammed. Even if you have to pay the Elder Law Attorney yourself, it will be money well spent as it will protect you in the years ahead from the possibility of getting "dunned" by creditors. Drastic measures that may cost you personally right now, but will protect you in the future.

Renee7777, The best comment here has been "Consult an Elder Lawyer". I was appointed many years ago as the POA for my Mother and Stepdad. I was unaware of the responsibilities that came with that title. Fortunately, a seminar was offered at my local library on Elder Care, by a Law Firm. In the seminar they had not only the "legal" expert, but also the "financial" expert. Hiring the Elder Care Law Firm was the best decision I ever made. They help you navigate the Federal and state responsibilities of a Medical and Financial Power of Attorney. If Medicaid becomes necessary, they will help you with that system as well. In this way the family maintains control of the finances and the medical care of their loved one, but has all the resources to help them. I have a few more Gray hairs, but I still have those hairs on my head.

when you see money running out, 3/4 months ahead of time consult a elder care attny about medicade.

any money you spend must be accounted for the patient keep receipts for this reason, a bathroom shower in her house, wooden floors out in for wheel chair not carpet etc.

Wow....whats you gut feeling if you ask yourself that question? I mean its MOM!

Checkbooks can be stolen and/or individual checks can be pulled out and used. We use autopay. Speak with her stock broker to see if they can deposit profits into her account. Ask if she can get statements verbally, so that she is not scammed.

Please make a group appointment with an Elder Law Attorney.

I am in a very similar situation and have been advised that when my mother runs out of money, she will go on Medicaid. Any money she had has only been spent on her care and I am POA. Care is incredibly expensive, and I can't contribute to my mother's care. Not without bankrupting myself, putting off retirement forever and not helping my college aged kids. She has been in a care home for 3 years and will remain there once she moves onto Medicaid.

I had to take away her credit cards and check book as she spent money in unbelievable ways. If I hadn't, she would have run out of money immediately. If your mother is spending unnecessary money or being scammed, you need to take action as it is easy to spend or give away money.

You and your brothers need to see an elder law attorney. They will help you with getting POA’s etc. this will allow you to help Mom figure out what money she has and you can figure out a plan if action. You can also write checks for her etc.

If she is about to run out if money then you can apply for Medicaid.

my Mom is about to run out of long term care insurance and will be private pay. Thankfully she has savings but at $8250 a month and family longevity on her side I may be in the same position one day

Renee,

Depends on the state your mom lives in. Some states have a requirement that children must financially support their parents if the parents are financially insecure. Google your question and the list of states will be available. I know PA has this rule, but NY does not. Good Luck.

Some states say yes. Some, no. An elder atty would know the rules for your state.

You need to figure out how many bank accounts she has, get your name on them either as payable upon death to you or to sign checks for her - don't let others write checks for her. Another scam could come up. You also need to find out what stocks she has. I would think if you could find her IRS records, that would be a good trail to locate everything.

In Texas, if she spends her money (savings and stocks) down to under $2000, she would probably qualify for Medicaid and a Nursing Home bed. Of course that would depend on how much monthly income she has left. If her monthly income is enough right now to pay for assisted living, she probably has enough monthly income to pay for a nursing home without having to apply for Medicaid.

It sounds like you may not know very much about her finances, so best to become educated so that you can talk to an elder atty to find out what needs to be done for her.