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My mother is becoming aggressive and agitated towards me and the carers? Sometimes I’ve had to turn around and walk out of the care home because mum is angry? This is another new stage in her dementia that’s is slowly taking over. She’s also 2 weeks in to not knowing who I am. I’ve joined Dementia Australia for information and I’m going to also join a group. Now as my mum has progressed to another level I’m finding this very stressful.

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My Dad is in early stages but when he lashes out it's really, really upsetting. I try to see it from his perspective as much as I can. How hard must it be to have lost so much autonomy and dignity and be so confused sometimes? That being said, you can, and should, walk out if it's too much. You're not helping by being a punching bag. Enjoy the moments when she is calm.
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OnlyChild1960 Mar 2023
Thank you for this answer. My dad has started showing aggression with his care takers in the facility. This behavior is not like him at all. It actually frightened me when I saw it. Does memory/dementia care take patients who can be aggressive?
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Talk to his doctor about medications for her agitation/anxiety. This is merciful, since dementia robs them of their ability to bring themselves back to a rational, calm state like before they dementia. She needs help to do this. It's hard, and you're doing your best.
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Good for you for joining a group to help gather information and to cope with this difficult situation.

It’s so hard to see changes occurring in our loved ones. Have you discussed this with your mom’s doctor? Medication may be helpful in controlling her outbursts.

Best wishes to you and your mother.
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I am so very sorry. I am hoping that you have a good MD who will discuss with you options going forward. At the point that your elder cannot recognize you there is little reason to keep them in your own care if you can find placement options that you feel are good for their safety. I am so glad you will join a group for the good support that will give you; it is always so helpful to know you are not alone, to know how others approach this time when really there is no "fix it" anymore. When your sacrifice of your own health and possibly your life are to no avail it is time to consider what options are best for you going forward. It is heartbreaking. And it is something to mourn and grieve. And it is little comfort to tell you that you are not alone. I surely do wish you the best.
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