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I am collapsed in bed now 10 days... it is my physical self that cannot move... how do I recoup my strength to deal with the chaos and responsibilities of unwinding her estate all alone when i can't summon the ability to even eat, reorganize, cope. I have never had any difficulty EVER with running at top speed... But have had zero regular sleep or rest for the past 9 interminable months and little before... and the last 18 months also had to cope with 24/7 rocket fibromyalgia pain and fatigue from the unremitting stress of these past last most difficult 3 years My dear mom was 91. I am a vital 66 -- or was -- but i don't "get" this exhaustion ... this let down ... this inability to move...

Mama, it's all normal, my body felt so heavy after my Dad passed. Everything was an effort. Just really force yourself to do little steps. Get up, maybe do some laundry, or a small task. , then praise yourself for what you did, don't think about what your not doing. Even if you get half of your dishes washed, look towards your accomplishments. Be good to yourself, you just went through a horrible shock.

I'm like this even after a traumatic experience.

It may have something to do with adrenal glands. It's like when your going through something horrible you are getting through life with your adrenaline, then I believe it just bottoms out and takes time to build back up, that added with depression, is probably what your experiencing.

Be patient with your body, and mind. Give it to me but not to much time.

My deepest condolences of your mom. 🙏😞
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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Anxietynacy Oct 21, 2024
As for eating, try boost protein shake, anything that you can get into your stomach now. Who cares if it's not healthy, just eat when the mood strikes, no matter what time of day it is.

This actually happens to me also. My stomach just closes shut.
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You're grieving and it's expected. My only advice is to take it one day at at a time.
Take care of yourself first. Eat something even if it's a piece of toast or soup. Sleep. Grieve and grieve more. Take baby steps. You have to take care of you, first. (Hugs). So sorry for your loss. I lost my mom and I couldn't move, either. It's hard.
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Reply to Tiredniece23
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I think that you were used to HAVING to run at top speed. Now it must seem like there is NOTHING. Nothing that has to be done.
As far as the estate, that is partially true. You have plenty of time. No one will jail you. Just take your time. Allow yourself this collapse into no-man's-land of nothingness compared to what you've been going through in caregiving.

Give yourself time. And my deepest condolences on your loss.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Mama, if you have the energy, maybe you can hire home care services for a couple hours to prepare meals, light keeping, and to help you get cleaned and dressed. This wouldn't be ongoing of course just until you can get over the first month or so.

You were running at full speed for months on end. Grief takes its toll and comes out more ways than one Fibromyalgia can flair up and even more so during stressful times sometimes showing up weeks or months later. An appointment to the doctor would be a start. Don't drive if you don't feel like. Take a Lyft or Uber if you have the app.

Please accept my heartfelt condolences.
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Reply to Scampie1
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It's called depression, and you need to muster up some strength to get to your doctor so they can prescribe an anti-depressant.
You've been running at top speed for far too long now with caring for your mom, and now that that has ended you have crashed.....and crashed hard.
I hope and pray that you'll be able to eventually get your life back on track and actually start enjoying this one life you've been given, as that is what your mom would want for you.
God bless you.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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