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I too am dealing with a bored mother. Mum us 86 and healthy, no dementia.

Pre-Covid, Mum was active outside of her house most days, Church, volunteering, Dragon Boating, socializing and more. Now she expects me to include her in my activities and it is tiresome. I cannot imagine if she lived across the street, across town is too close.

You do not owe your mother your time. It is ok for you to clearly state that your evenings are yours to do as you wish. If she is bored or lonely, then she needs to find ways fill her time, you are not responsible for being her entertainment. This is not selfishness, it is just like when a child says I am bored and wants their parent to create a fun activity.
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just because you have a caregiver stay overnight means they are sleeping.  nurses/caregivers work in shifts.  There was an elderly gentleman that lived up the road from our house.  He had one person with him for 12 hours and then another for 12 hours overnight.  I am sure they didn't sleep, it would be the same as a nurse in a hospital/NH.....they do other things.  maybe the over night person could sweep/clean the floors, wash any dishes, fold clothes, etc.  They are there to make sure that IF she would need something in the middle of the night that they would be there.  Maybe she feels that something will happen again in the evening and she will be alone. Maybe get her a "life alert" type thing that IF she would feel sick or fall, etc, she can push that button on her necklace.  wishing you luck.
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just thought of something, how about puzzles?  my mother loves to work on puzzles......even crossword puzzles. tell her to turn the tv onto some cooking shows while she works on puzzles.......can she crochet or knit? get her some material and ask her to make something, like a scarf or throw.
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I have a solid piece of advice and hope you will listen. While I certainly understand both sides of this situation, your mother is NOT cooperating by refusing to have caretakers at night and otherwise demanding your full attention. This is not fair and realistic. Second, YOU have the right to have some private time and must have it. Do what you can for your mother such as specified visiting time, taking her places, etc. But do it with specific boundaries. Set down the black/white rules that this is the way it is and do NOT give in. She is being selfish. You must tell her in no uncertain terms what you are and are not willing to do and that she has options which she can choose to use or she will be alone - and stand by that. Do NOT answer the telephone or the door on your private time. And if things get really bad and get worse, you may not have a choice but to place her. She is not cooperating, and she is causing many unnecessary problems for you. You have to decide what to do about this - not her. You are feeling what is normal and right.
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She’s your only mom. Went through this with mine, I finally moved her in with me. She was very happy to be under same roof with me. I kept my job and she had caregiver companions with her all day. She lived 5 more years as bd died 3 weeks after her 100th birthday. I saw her everyday, she was happy and that’s all that mattered. She died in her own bed just like she wanted to. I have no regrets. Just wasn’t there when she took her last breath. I know I did the best for her. Think of your mom first, she doesn’t have a lot of years left if she’s 89. You may regret pushing her away. As we age we also become more like children wanting to be with those we love. With dementia your mom is reverting a bit snd wants to be with you more. She’s lonely.
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MargaretMcKen Jan 2021
Floymar, like you, I was lucky with my mother in that she didn’t have dementia, her behavior didn’t deteriorate, and she was grateful for the terminal care I gave her. I too was glad that she died in her own bed, as she wanted. However many many people on this site are not as lucky as you and I. It’s good to share our experiences when they will help, but important not to make it seem like a criticism of people whose experiences are so different.
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