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That Is a Lot Of Loss . Do You have children or a close friend you can speak with ? I suggest a grief counselor even if its for a 3 and a Half Hour visit - Just so you Can release some of the pain . Personally I would go On a trip or a retreat . Upaya Zen Center has retreats and Courses . You dont Have to be Buddhist But I find their community is healing and Joan Halifax has dealt with many caregivers . You Can Join some Zoom Courses . Santa Fe, NM Is a Nice Community Of People . I think after all this caregiving you need to let go and release the sorrow and then take care of yourself , recharge your batteries and heal your heart . There are support groups too. I havnt gone to any of the Sisters on the Fly But that's a group of woman who camp out together . What You need is support and Nourishment for your soul . I Lost My Mom who I was caring for to Dementia and then 9 Months Later My brother who I was caring for with stage 4 cancer and schizophrenia . I was depleted and got seriously Ill for 2 Months . My dad returned form a trip and I Noticed he didnt stay in the room in Florida Nor could he use their TV Remote So He got sick with Dementia . Then a tenant Killed himself . My Dad got worse and I was exhausted . I Found a Great Community acupuncture clinic for support . I would suggest a healing trip to some where Like Portland , Maine . There is a youth Hostel But some private spaces Black Elephant and it is easy to meet people and go to dinner . Walk the city , Listen to live Music . A Good shop I Like Arcana has Massages , Reiki . You have to do some healing for yourself . Another Place I Like is Deer Isle In Maine and there is a Craft school Haystack and another youth Hostel with some private spaces on a Organic Farm . Very Nice People and a beautiful Village called Stonington . Plan a small trip for yourself . You will find Meeting new people and getting away for a Bit will change your perspective . Life waits for No One . So take care of yourself .
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Reply to KNance72
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When we find a way to integrate loss that fills our heart, it will transcend surviving. What has helped me the most is to think of each person's life as a tapestry. The weaving of their stories is now complete, but yours is not yet finished. Stand back a little to see the whole, and when each of you became a part of the other's tapestry. Grief is over the loss of a future we had counted on. But as we can see, we have no idea at all what will be woven into the unfinished area of our own tapestry. As we turn our gaze back to those of your mother, husband, and niece, we see intricate weaving that recorded every unexpected moment in their lives, and there you are, as well.
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Reply to ThoughtForToday
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Gosh Alee, that's a heavy burden to bear. I don't have the answer. Some churches offer a program called "Grief Share" where others who are also grieving support each other and to hear ways to cope. Sharing your grief with others can be very cathartic and help you realize you are not alone. Having lost my spouse to AD, I attended that program, and sought a grief counselor. I found "Getting to the Other Side of Grief, Overcoming the Loss of a Spouse" a book by Susan J. Sonnebelt-Smeenge to be helpful. Talk to those you trust, Google "Greif Counselers" in your area, if you a have a church, talk to your pastor. I do know you will get through this.
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Reply to sjplegacy
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((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Reply to cover9339
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Hi, Alee. My deepest condolences on the loss of your loved ones, that's an awful lot to process.

You posted this question on June 29th......

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/how-do-i-survive-all-the-deaths-488318.htm?orderby=recent

Did you have a chance to read the comments that were left for you on that post?

I also have a recommendation, to read the book Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief, by David Kessler.

https://a.co/d/41kx2SO

In 1969, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross first identified the stages of dying in her transformative book On Death and Dying. Decades later, she and David Kessler wrote the classic On Grief and Grieving, introducing the stages of grief with the same transformative pragmatism and compassion. Now, based on hard-earned personal experiences, as well as knowledge and wisdom gained through decades of work with the grieving, Kessler introduces a critical sixth stage: meaning.

Kessler’s insight is both professional and intensely personal. His journey with grief began when, as a child, he witnessed a mass shooting at the same time his mother was dying. For most of his life, Kessler taught physicians, nurses, counselors, police, and first responders about end of life, trauma, and grief, as well as leading talks and retreats for those experiencing grief. Despite his knowledge, his life was upended by the sudden death of his twenty-one-year-old son. How does the grief expert handle such a tragic loss? He knew he had to find a way through this unexpected, devastating loss, a way that would honor his son. That, ultimately, was the sixth stage of grief—meaning. In Finding Meaning, Kessler shares the insights, collective wisdom, and powerful tools that will help those experiencing loss.

“Beautiful, tender, and wise” (Katy Butler, author of The Art of Dying Well), Finding Meaning is “an excellent addition to grief literature that helps pave the way for steps toward healing” (School Library Journal).

Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation. Allow yourself grace and gentle treatment of youself as you heal.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Alee , I'm so sorry, we have had others that have posted with many losses, feeling as you do.

I also have a gf, that 6 months ago, lost her husband and father. Has a very ill brother and a very aging mom and her dog is very likely dieing.

I guess what I'm saying is your not alone.

Have you considered a grief support group, and therapy? I think that would be the best place for you to start

All I can say is, my friend is having good days. Still has horrible days. So I told her hold on to the good days, or moments. Even when you have good moments, remember those on your bad moments.

I wish I had something better to tell you. I hate when this happens to anyone.

When my dad died at the beginning of covid. I was petrified if loose mom to covid.

I'm so sorry 😞 🙏
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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You survive it by taking one day at a time.
And you survive it by now making yourself a priority and start taking care of yourself.
And you survive it by reaching out to either your local Grief Share or grief therapist, to help you move forward in a positive manner.
And you survive it by relying on your faith and your God, as He will never leave you nor forsake you. He's got this and you.
God bless you.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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