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Please advise. Last year a few days before Thanksgiving my father picked up a bug and was put in the hospital for dehydration and stayed for a few days. Concerned about my father & more about my mother who is in her early stages of dementia, I immediately booked a flight home. I arrived at my parent's home and 45 minutes after arriving my older brother (66 yrs old) shows up, walks past me, shoves me aside and walks into the kitchen. At the top of his lungs he starts telling my mother that he is now in charge of our father's financials. My brother isn't very articulate, but I knew right away that my brother was telling us that he was up to something. A bit later my mother's best friend calls me & tells me that she was worried because she saw my brother take my fathers wallet from the kitchen table. Mom asked my brother for the wallet & my brother said he didnt have it. My father had the wallet in the hospital. We called my father & he said my brother had the wallet. My mother was furious and asked me to take her to the bank so she could get a copy of the bank statement because she did not trust my brother. Once we got a copy of the bank statement it showed on 11/21 a $500 money transfer to my brothers credit union for a car payment as well as using the debit card as his own for unauthorized purchases. My mother cancelled that debit card. Next day my brother shows up and says, " Hey mom, I just went to the bathroom & I saw dad's wallet on top of the dresser in your bedroom & you just didnt remember that it was there because of your dementia." My mother just looked at me & I told my brother B.S., we just got back from the bank & mom cancelled that debit card after we saw that you were using the card. My brother loses it & starts throwing punches and tries to fight me. I locked myself in the hall bath & called the police. The police showed up and my brother pretended that he had called the police and after explaining to them what had happened the officers told my brother he was not allowed back without police escort and told me to file a court order of protection against my brother. After that, I realized this was not an isolated incident. It was obvious my brother was bullying my mother & possibly my father. I had only planned on staying for a few days, but now knew I had to stay longer to see what was really happening. I stayed for all of Dec. One day I went to get the mail & found a letter addressed to my brother at my parents home address & not his home address 10 minutes away for cremation services. Another thing I noticed was that my brother was taking my mothers memory loss meds from her (mementine) prescribed by her psychiatrist & tells her not to see her again. This medication helps block the chemical enzyme that creates confusion & helps with memory loss. It was as if my brother was trying to advance mom's dementia & make her weak or get rid of her to manipulate my dad for the house, etc. Also, the day I left my brother tears up a months journal I created for mom to remember how and what time to take her meds on time with examples. Brother tears up & instills fear tells my mom not to take the meds because of the side effects. Moving fast forward to now 1/6/2023. In retaliation my brother tells my father that there is no court order of protection and wait to see what happens to your son. I had planned on flying into town to meet with my father's oncologist to discuss the benefits and risks of chemotherapy for an 85 year old man with prostate cancer, but cancelled. I'm learning that my brother had coerced my father into calling the hospital telling them to not allow me to have access to my father's medical records then appoints himself MPOA. I mention this to my father & he then tells me, "I think i just signed everything over to your brother." I asked dad if he understood what he signed & he said no.

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You need to file a police report. All of this is criminal.
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If you father really does say that “I think I just signed everything over to your brother," there are two situations:

1) If he was legally capable recently of signing POA paper to your brother, he is also capable of signing new POA forms, which will cancel and supersede the ones to your brother.

2) If he was/is not capable of signing new forms (which brother will probably argue), then the old ones are also probably invalid.

You need to see your parents in person, with some evidence of what your brother is doing, and new forms to sign. I’d suggest that you take either a lawyer or a social worker (or both) with you. Leave it to brother to question them.

Yes, report your brother for criminal behavior. But it may save a lot of time and effort if you can stop this happening right now. A new set of POA forms, plus the criminal report, should put a stop to it. If brother has another go after that, he will be piling up evidence against himself.
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Call the police, for heaven's sake.
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You can/should report this to your States Elder Abuse Hot Line.
A call to APS would also start an investigation but your Mom and Dad will have to cooperate and confirm any behavior that is illegal and harmful.
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Its fraud for him to use Dads name and SS#

His getting POA, if its not witnessed and notarized, its no good. I would demand brother show you the paperwork and if he won't ask the police to request it. I would get Mom to assign you POA. Seems she can still understand what it means. Also report brother for taking her meds. Get Dad to assign u POA if he is competent to do so, this will revoke brothers, if there is one. I would do this with a lawyer. Get both Financial and Medical.
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Theft and elder abuse is theft and elder abuse no matter who does it. If you have proof time to go to your District Attorney or your APS.
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Hi & thanks for the many helpful comments. This is criminal behavior & its obvious that my older unhinged brother is focused on making sure both my parents medical conditions advance to where they are medically classified incapacitated. At this point my brother will claim my father has given all of his assets to my brother - ie, pension, home, cars, bank account etc. and he will be able to place my mother in a home & or doesnt care what happens to her as long as he gets what he has been after. So this is more about manipulation & control & not really about caring for our parents so that my brother can benefit from this financially. The main issue is that i live in the midwest & my parents live in AZ. I have to fly into AZ to visit & try to help my parents. Ive called the police twice to my parents house to handle my brother and fear for the safety of my parents & myself. The officer who filed the police report suggested i file a court order of protection against my brother. Last March while i was away working the front desk staff to my building told me the sheriff came to the building looking for me. they refused the service because our building doesnt allow it. Turns out my brother was trying to serve me with a court order in retaliation with some made up story for when i filed a court order against him for threatening me for trying to stop him from trying to exploit my parents. The building staff told me they came twice while i was away working. Fast forward to now. What i have heard from my parents so far is that my brother is manipulating my parents by making them believe he is helping them by taking my parents to their drs appointments minus my mothers psychiatrist appointments & medication treatment for memory loss therapy. which is very important at the beginning stage of dementia but my brother wont let her see her psychiatrist. Tells her your not seeing the psychiatrist anymore and your being treated by your new primary. Hes your new dr. he is helping you with your memory loss. Ive spoken to the psychiatrist and she doesnt understand why my brother is doing this. She is also concerned for my parents but more for my mother who is under her care for dementia & menmory loss. Here my main issue. I live and work in the mid west and parents are in Arizona & I cant afford a family attorney in AZ. I call them several times per week to keep them engaged in conversation so that they are not completely alone and also to get to hear whats up at home. Last week i couldnt reach my parents for a few days and became worried & my gut feeling was that something was up again with my brother. Then i remembered last March 14th i couldnt reach them for a few days as well and this was the day my brother appointed himself MPA and coerced my father into calling into my fathers dr's office & tell them not to allow me to have access to my parents medical records. Last week when i couldnt reach them I sent a text to my brothers phone saying i havent been able to reach mom & dad since last Tuesday & it was now Friday now and i was going to send police over to do a wellness check. That following Monday the phone was miraculously repaired and i was able to reach my father. My father said that my brother had called the cable company and is why the phone was now working again. Last week when i couldnt reach my parents my father also said my brother told him that the phone company had been working on the phone line in the area and the wires to my parents' house had been cut off by accident and they were able to get them repaired & blamed the phone issue on an area phone co disconnect. My parents' finally called me to applogize for not staying in touch since last week and in this conversation my father out of the blue told me that my brother had just gotten a big screen tv for the house and the living room furniture had been re arranged. This made sense. My brother was making his next move. What should i do ?
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