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Two and half years ago I left Florida, my grown kids and a good job because my sister called me saying she's going to lose her job, home and everything she owns because she has to leave work to check on mom. I had an apt, so I didn't want her to lose her job or home. I went to Tennessee to take care of my mother. I have an older brother and sister who never offered to step in and help. I get here and realized I was on my own. My mother received 24/7 care. I'd help her bathe, cook her a hot meal 3xs a day and get her snacks. She had TLC from my fiancé and me. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and there were days I was bed bound so he was a big help. He loved my mother like his own. She had dementia and he knew exactly what to do. We played old made and scrabble and checkers. She would talk about her childhood, and we listened. For 2 1/2 years I got to take care of her. My sister told me that since no one else would help her and because she owned her home as well as mama's home, we could stay there. Well, mama passed and we had been here less than a year. Because my sister wouldn't have the leaking roof or the hot water heater repaired, we used our own money for the roof ($1000) and the water heater ($500). Well, she didn't give me the house. Instead she wanted to charge us $500 for rent. The roof and heater set us back quite a bit and my fiancé and I are on disability. We have bills too, so now she wants to evict us. I'm so sad over what she has done to us. There's no rental agreement, either.

What you need to do is find out what it cost for a CNA. Multiply that by 24hrs a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. Thats how much family would have had to pay to keep Mom out if a NH.

So let her evict you. Here, it takes about 6 months. There is a process. You will end up in court at which time you state your case. The Judge will make the ruling. If you can't afford a lawyer, call Office of Aging for the number of Legal Aid. They work scale.

Always get deals in writing.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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There's really not a lot you can do if your sister legally owns the place.
You and your boyfriend basically made a common and familar unspoken caregiver deal that gets made every day, especially within familes.

Free rent in exchange for live-in caregiving.

The caregiver almost always gets the brown end of the stick with this deal.

You had to put some money in. You should have paid for the roof and the hot water heater out of your mother's money. Not yours. Live and learn. It's too late now.

If your sister will let you stay at only $500 a month, I say take it. You will never find a house for that or even a decent rent for that money.

Stay there but make your sister give you a written lease stating how much the rent is. Once you have this, you have rights. She becomes the landlord/lady. If something breaks, she is responsible for fixing or replacing it. If your personal property gets damaged because she doesn't keep the rental in good repair, you can sue for damages.

Take the $500 a month deal.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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Is it $500 a month (cheap) or a week (not so cheap)? The dates are difficult to understand - “mama passed and we had been here less than a year” but “for 2 1/2 years I got to take care of her”. Did you expect to get free rent permanently? Or what?

Did you know that Sis owned the house, not M? Are you sure that Sis owns it? Do you know what was in M's will? Perhaps Sis is executor of M's will, and needs to deal with the estate. Do you know if you are a beneficiary under M's will, if any? Have you contacted your brother and sister - they didn't want to do caring, but should know about the will and estate.

A big part of this problem is that the whole arrangement wasn't clear to anyone - probably including M and BF. This is yet another problem with ‘honoring a word’ instead of having a written agreement. Stay put until the eviction is legal. If you can get it to court, do that because it will be quite embarrassing for her. It may also sort out some of these questions for you. But think about your future - you certainly can't stay there forever.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Even the best intentions can miss. Good arrangements can go wrong, people can change their mind & circumstances can change.

Assumptions - may have been many here?? Or was there a clear understanding made?

Obligations may look & feel differently to different people.

Broken promises?
Or change of mind?
Reasonable? Not reasonable?

Was the caregiving you provided your gift? Or was it a deal?
A *Care for Housing* deal?
Did it have a time frame?

Can you save your relationship with your sister? Hear each other's side & find a path forward. A NEW DEAL that works for both of you?

Like another poster yesterday, you may need a third party to be mediator/referee between you.
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Reply to Beatty
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Who now owns the house?
If your sister owns the house she will have to legally evict you. Stay put. She will have to go to court. You will be given a 30 day notice WHEN this comes up before a judge and that can take a while. It is not legal for her or anyone to come in and toss your belongings out. A sheriff will accompany her (or the owner) at the 30 day time to make sure that you do vacate. I would though start packing up your belongings. Donate what you don't want, sell what you can and pack up the rest.
Do no further repairs on the house.
If the house was left to all of you then you can force siblings to "buy you out" and they have to give you Fair Market Value" of your portion of the property.

Technically your sister did allow you to remain there while you were caring for mom but as with all property there is a cost. If repairs are needed, general upkeep and insurance and taxes need to be paid then coming up with that cash is difficult if you are there and not paying rent.
Honestly $500. 00 is a bargain. And as landlord she would have to make all repairs.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Stay Put Until you have a affordable Housing - evictions can take a long time. Get a Low income Lawyer who can Help you .
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Reply to KNance72
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When your mother died , was there probate , a will ? Did Mom put the house in your name ? If not then technically you are a squatter I would think . Is there nothing on paper legally for you to stay in the home ? Was anyone executor of her estate? There are a lot of legal questions here that I can’t answer . Try to get a free one hour consultation from a lawyer .
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Reply to waytomisery
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JoAnn29 Aug 24, 2024
I read it 2x and I get sister owns Moms home.
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There may be options for low-income housing targeted to disabled persons. Unfortunately, in many areas, there are lengthy waiting lists. I suggest making a start by calling your area's Dep't. or Office on Housing. If there is any way to connect with your sister, ask her for another month (or two) in the house so you can work on finding housing.
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Reply to ElizabethAR37
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I can only suggest you go into a shelter. I hope that you will in your area have one that can have social workers to steer you toward options for yourself.l
I am sorry, but your problems are way too dire and complex for the "opinions" of a Forum of strangers. I cannot imagine how we could do anything to help you other than to offer you our sympathy and to suggest you reach out to any support systems you can find in your own area.
I surely do wish you the very best of luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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