Nanny for grandson until preschool.

If you live with them you will never be "off duty".

My Mom moved to my state when my first son was born. She lived with us briefly until she found a house (long story short she bought the house right next to ours). I'm glad she didn't live with us but she was close enough and my 3 sons are so close to their Nonna because she was there every day.

Is it possible for you to get an apartment close by? I'm 65 and in good health but I can't imagine caring for a 15-month old and being "on call" and therefore not having a life. Your daughter and SIL may think that you living with them is a good idea but once they lose their privacy, maybe they'll change their minds. And what if you change your mind about this arrangement -- you'll have no place to go for who knows how long.

Yes, you should be nervous about moving in with them. Find another living arrangement but do spend the time with your grandson because they grow up faster than your own kids.

First of all , do you even want to be a fulltime nanny ?

If you are nervous about giving up your own space then I would not .

If you are willing to be the nanny, can you get your own apartment near them ? Perhaps your son and daughter in law pay your rent . You would be saving them a ton in childcare costs . Or were they going to pay you for giving up your free time ?

Why do they want you to live there 24/7?

I don’t think you should give up having your own home and independence. That’s not conducive to a good relationship with your daughter or grandchild. I was Granny Nanny for my four grandchildren (two daughters each have two children). The kids are just a year apart so I was very busy! They came to my house and were picked up by the parent who got off work first. I took many vacations and my daughters and sons-in-law arranged their schedules and alternate day care around my time away. I did not ask them to pay me - my choice entirely. I would NEVER have moved in with either family. Do you want to be there when they’re having a disagreement? Or when they discipline in a way you may not agree with? Everyone needs their own space and none of you will that if you live with them.

'Family helps family' goes the saying, right?

How wonderful to be such a trusted Grandparent & child-carer! But... any fulltime caregiver can get burnt out. Either caring for children, adults with special needs, for elders.

Caregiving works best when it works for EVERYONE in the team.

How far is your apartment? Even if driving & arriving for *work* everyday (or say 3 days a week) may be hard - it would be so nice to *knock-off* & go home, back to your own space. Thoughts?

This is absolutely a personal decision. I am assuming you no longer work? Because to give up a job to be an unpaid (I am assuming) Nanny seems to me on the face of it ludicrous.

Being a Nanny is messy already. Normally a Nanny does it YOUR WAY, that is the way the parents dictate. I am thinking melding Granny with Nanny would be (for me anyway) a nightmare.

And "active and healthy"? Oh, yeah. YOU remember what being with a little one is, right?
You will be active for sure, and better be healthy.

Were it me and I was even going to consider it I would do it in my OWN home and they would bring and pick up the child daily. Otherwise you are 24/7.

I cannot, to be honest, imagine anyone even considering this. So this gets a big "no" vote from me. But your life is your own. My advice for sure, don't give up where you sleep. Because giving notice will be complicated by that.
Good luck.

Of course you should feel nervous about giving up not only your apartment, but also your life, your privacy, your activities, and your independence for the next 2 years.
Just because your son and daughter-in-law don't want to have to pay the high cost of childcare, doesn't mean that you should have to give up your life to save them money.
At 65, you've now earned the right to do what you want, if you want and when you want.
I know you love your grandson very much, but he and his care are not your responsibility.
So keep living and enjoying your life and visit your grandson when you have time, but I would not advise moving in with your son and family.

I would not give up my apartment to be a live-in nanny. Living with your son will not give you the freedom you are used to. How far are you away? Maybe stay the week and go home on weekends and holidays. If I did live-in, I would make them aware that my babysitting stops when they come home. I have weekends off. They want to go somewhere without the child, they hire someone to babysit. One reason, at 65 we just don't have the energy to watch a toddler all the time. I did it at age 63 and I had a husband.

I was lucky, my DD lived 4 doors down. They dropped my grandson off in the morning and picked him up after work. I had my nights and weekends. My SIL also babysits her grands. She lives close enough to go to their house. She gets them up and ready for the day bringing them back to her house later where they are picked up. And we both charged our kids to do the care. My niece lost her babysitter. SIL was working at a job she did not like so a deal was made. Since my brother had retired and had Medicare SIL, 61, would need insurance if she quit her job. Niece pays for that and a little more. Me, I charged $100 a week and put the money in an acct. My DD can't save. I had him till 20 months and he went to Nursery School. When he was 5, they wanted to take him to Universal. The money I made was used for all of us to go.

I babysat both my grandsons. My oldest till he was 3. I think it made a special bond with both my grandsons.

Congratulations on them trusting you to care for you grandson in that manner. They must see you as a wonderful force in the little guys life. However, helping with the grandson when he was born was different than the full time nanny they are asking you to be for a toddler. Offer sitting with him for their parents to have a day or night to themselves on the weekends instead. I think you might end up resenting the responsibility a bit since your are independent. I also am fiercely independent, loved the baby grandsons so very much, but no way would I have taken on full time a full time nanny gig or moved in with one of my sons.

That would be a hard NO for me. I have a home and a life I'd not want to give up, in spite of loving my grandchild.

It is a lot more fun taking care of little ones than the elders, I can tell you that. I enjoyed looking after my little people, but when began to help out (and it was only part time) I made sure my daughter understood that she had to have a plan B in case I couldn't do it for whatever the reason.