I too have a Mom with dementia. Try to remember when we were little kids and keep your sense of humor, its a must. To get through. Mom woke me 3 times today at 2 am, 3 am and 9 am. To ask me why I was in her bedroom staring at her?
I find the longer I am in this (over 2 1/2 years now) the easier it becomes to relax at night. Initially, I felt like I never slept, or if I did, it was very broken, and once I am up I am up as I begin to think of all the "what ifs" or "what on earth am I going to do's" My Mama has seemingly fallen into a positive pattern with her sleeping it seems....that may just be my situation, but she does sleep through the night and that is a blessing. Oddly it seems like Mama picks up on my moods. I don't know, but it seems if I am jittery, aggitated, upset or cranky, it makes her more so. I sing to Mama a lot and try to keep her laughing...the more she does that, the more relaxed and cheerful she is...but then Mama is just a cheerful sweet lady...but I surely am blessed that now both of us are able to sleep through the night.
cryingalot, best answer EVER .. the sense of humor. a mind is failing and the end result is the loss of a loved one. when its over youll look back and frankly all you care to remember are the times you could laugh with each other.. you just dont try to make sense of illogical stuff, itll crack your head .. you smile and let things unfold as they will -- so little actual control of things ..
Dear New2, We are at the same place in this journey. Hugs to you. I am completely isolated in my 24/7/365 caregiving. My only social outlets are chatting with the folks at drive-through windows :( I know how hard it is to talk on the phone. I wish that my good humor had held up a little longer (caregiving for 7 years and living-in for 18 months.) I am burned-out in a big way and feel angry most days. I know it's the illness, but I just can't supply chauffeur service, meal prep, financial management, maid service *AND* full-time entertainment with a smile. It's the entertainment part that is the hardest.
I miss my husband terribly, but Mom acts like he doesn't exist. I've lost touch with friends and I believe Mom is healthier than I am. Unfortunately, she is (and has pretty much always been) all about Mom. I am trying to find a method to change my attitude, but too much is too much. I've hit a wall.
Thank you for your post. I am stressed and "burnt out". I think chatting with others acting for someone with dementia will help me this journey. I cannot sleep as my " mind's eye" has me thinking way too much. I worry way too much. Please keep in touch :-)
I told my sister today that everyday with dad is new to him as he has no memory of the day before. This site has helped and even though my dad is in much better shape than many caregivers parents on this site it is nice to know I am not alone in my journey with my dad.
Goodnight Mom I love you.
best answer EVER .. the sense of humor. a mind is failing and the end result is the loss of a loved one. when its over youll look back and frankly all you care to remember are the times you could laugh with each other..
you just dont try to make sense of illogical stuff, itll crack your head .. you smile and let things unfold as they will -- so little actual control of things ..
I miss my husband terribly, but Mom acts like he doesn't exist. I've lost touch with friends and I believe Mom is healthier than I am. Unfortunately, she is (and has pretty much always been) all about Mom. I am trying to find a method to change my attitude, but too much is too much. I've hit a wall.
I think chatting with others acting for someone with dementia will help me this journey.
I cannot sleep as my " mind's eye" has me thinking way too much. I worry way too much.
Please keep in touch :-)
See All Answers