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Well, mom chose to go into a nursing home. I searched and found one that was nice, clean and the staff seemed genuinely nice and helpful. We requested mom start off in a private room, she has lived alone for 40+ years. Well, the administration decided they had someone they thought would be a good roommate. Well, mom’s roommate is very nice, but she has the tv on 24/7 and the lights go on and off all through the night. And mom is freezing. I find this a little strange, because I know mom has often fallen asleep with the tv on and slept for hours that way and I know she is always cold, it was 75+ in her condo and she was still cold. I told her that her body is not circulating her blood that is why she is always cold. (I was always cold as a kid and was told to put more clothes on. This doesn’t work for her. 🤪) So, she tells me she is living in hell and I have no idea what it is like. This breaks my heart. I have tried to get her to ring a nurse at night to deal with the lights/tv, she did one night. I think she lays in her bed and all she can focus on is the lights and tv. I sent eye masks, but she doesn’t like them. I have ordered ear plugs, but she probably won’t use them. She isn’t leaving the room because it is hard to get out of her wheelchair, I have suggested she ask someone to help her get out of the chair.I live 3 hours away and I am miserable. The nursing home told me it takes several weeks for residents to settle in. How do I deal with the constant lump in my throat and heavy chest? How do I hear mom without taking it personally and go straight into worry/upset mode?

these facilities make me angry, always thinking they know better and often they do

But this is your mom and since they dont seem to fight for her you do. That would drive anyone crazy 24/7 TV on.

She wants a private room, get her one. (assuming she has the finances for it and is not on medicaid)
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Reply to Karsten
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We got mom moved to a private room. Thank God! She sounded better. Thanks for the guidance. It is hard to be 3 hours away. I also wanted her to take some initiative. She and her ex-roommate are on fine terms. Mom said everyone on the administrative side were very kind and helpful. I love this group! Thank you!
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Reply to susanmac02
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KNance72 Aug 13, 2024
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The Administration cannot take it upon themselves to give Mom a roommate if she is paying for a private room. If Mom is on Medicaid, she has no choice. Has to have 2 to a room. Unless, family is willingvto pay the difference.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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This is precisely why you wanted a private room to begin with. Why did you both allow the nursing home to persuade you to move mom in with a roommate??? Get her a private room stat and stop being miserable!
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Tell admin this is not working out and that you had previously requested a private room and expect that request to be addressed .

Then you tell Mom you are working on getting her a private room .

You didn’t make Mom old , you can’t fix old . You have given Mom ear plugs and eye masks in the meantime . It’s up to Mom to use them . They all have the TVs loud . Too bad they don’t have lights and TVs off at night as a rule but that’s old school . They don’t do that anymore . You can’t do anymore .
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Reply to waytomisery
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Get her a private room . A Lot of People Blast their TV's or radios because they dont hear well . My Moms room was cold too which is why she got a Pneumonia .
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Reply to KNance72
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