Parents in their 70's dad has one leg and is not steady on walker. mom just had half colon removed. wheelchair cant fit in messy house and when my dad asked me to come help with the garbage, it was over 50 lbs of his poop that had collected from his bedside commode! there is rotten and spoiled food, it doesn't seem there is running water, I offer to help and they tell me that their friend is coming to help "go through things".
now , when my dad was at the rehab center for his amputation. my mom fell twice and couldn't get up. the first time my dad called and I had to climb through a window. second time same as the first. still they will not give me a key . I am barely hangin on taking care of my wife and kids there is no room for them here. any suggestions?
If parents are back home, call your local Area Agency on Aging and seek their help. As above, no more climbing through windows. If there are falls/emergencies, call 911 and let professional help do their stuff.
Your parents shut everyone out because they are afraid that the world is against them; but you don't have to agree! To help yourself feel better about seeking outside intervention, remember that everyone - you, family friends and neighbours, any professionals on the scene - just wants your parents to be safe and happy. Right now your parents could hardly be further from that, so any help you can bring in has got to be an improvement. Nobody will be out to get them or meddle needlessly with them.
Don't try persuading or arguing with your parents about this, you'd be wasting your breath - just keep it in mind as a comfort for yourself.