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Rather not go into the details, I have been suddenly tasked with taking care of my older sister. She lives at home, she does have in place home care that is paid through a trust.


From what I have gathered everything is taken care of based off what her lawyer told me. The lawyer told me I have no real responsibilities, so does that mean I should leave well enough alone and not worry?

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More specifics would help.  What does your attorney mean by "everything"?   That could cover a lot of ground, or limited ground, depending on how he defines it.   E.g., does that mean that he's made arrangements for the in-home caregiver to be paid, as well as other financial obligations?  That you have no payments to consider for the house, groceries, transit, etc.? 

I would never consider "leaving someone alone", and I certainly wouldn't rely entirely on what an attorney said, even if he or she is a top notch attorney.

Have you made a list of all the responsibilities that you'll have, and compared it to authorizations in the trust?   Who is the Settlor (the individual who created the Trust)?  Is that you?  Or was it your sister? 

Who is handling her affairs now, legal and financial, and care?   Has there been a change and now you have that responsibility?

Familiarize yourself well with the trust, and compare it against an inventory of the tasks that need to be provided for your sister.   If it doesn't give you authority to act on her behalf for everything she needs, then something is missing.
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Ariadnee Jan 2022
Excellent advice.
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No. This makes no sense.
Being POA for health care is basically fine.
But the financial thing is NOT.
Who made you financial POA. When did they make you that? Only your sister can do that and you should have been notified at the time and you should have the papers.
Being financial POA has nothing to do with being Trustee of Trust. If your sister has a trust then who is the successor trustee who acts for her when she is not competent (as you say she is not).
If this was a trust created by parents for her care and they assigned a trustee to act for her, then that is fine.
But the long and short of this is that you do not understand what you are appointed to, by whom, and what your duties are. That means that it is time to seek the advice of a lawyer OF YOUR OWN immediately with all the papers. Your sister's estate pays for this, so contact those who informed you recently of whatever you have been informed.
You need to understand your DUTIES. Being a POA is a Fiduciary responsibility. If your Sister is now in dementia that paper for POA needs to be implements and you need to either resign your duty or do your duty and that means you need to understand fully what your duty of care is. This is a legal position that requires that you know what is going on.
When a lawyer who is not YOUR LAWYER tells you that you have no responsibilities it is time to worry. Get an attorney now and take all your paperwork with you. As said, your sister's trust or her estate pays for this.
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Nokonoko Jan 2022
Will do, one point of clarification. Our parents did everything through private pay. Officially speaking she has no dementia or any illness on file to my knowledge. From what I can tell, everything has always been off the books. I just know we have always been well off, never left wanting.

This happened after our remaining parent passed recently. I will look into speaking to a lawyer again. What I gather, since everything is private pay nothing has gone through the insurance. So god forbid something were to happen and she needs representation that is when my roles come into play.

She does have EO, we did go through the doctors but since everything was paid for out of pocket and privately she has no official record. My parents have always avoided hospitals.

I should have gone with my gut and went straight to a lawyer, been sitting on this info for about a month now. I have no signed anything yet though.
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Are you caregiving in the role of POA for healthcare and financial decisions or something else? She has in home care and a lawyer looking out for her needs. What is your involvement, helps to answer your question better
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To clarify: your parents set up a trust for your sister because she has early onset dementia (EO). You are not the Trustee but are your sister's PoA for financial and medical yet you don't have the paperwork telling you the responsibilities. It seems the lawyer is the Trustee? Is this correct? You say your sister is still independent-ish, so...she should have a copy of the PoA paperwork. If she doesn't, then maybe get a copy from the lawyer. I'm not sure I understand your situation because both your sister and YOU would have signed the PoA document in front of a notary and witnesses at the time it was created -- no one can create a PoA for another person -- your sister would have known what she was doing and signed the document herself. There are certain requirements for your PoA authority to become "activated" (like your sister having at least 1 medical diagnosis of incapacity). Without having the actual document you have no idea if you are actually the PoA or if you are, what you're able to do on her behalf. You're flying blind. Please add more details if you have them.
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Nokonoko Jan 2022
Yes, you are correct I have not officially signed anything yet. I was just made aware of the plans our parents made regarding my sister's care. That is when the lawyer was told about trusts for her care and how they cover everything related to her care. He also expressed their wishes about not placing her aslong as she has funs to cover it. I have know about this for sometime, my initial call was to go to a lawyer, so I went with the one our parents used.

I was made aware even though I am signing the POA I will not be responsible for anything at this time because she is capable of being on her own with supervision. I did not feel comfortable siging at the time. Since I am confused and I doubt many will understand cause from what I gather our parents did we have money jedi mind tricked away many barriers. I do not even feel comfortable speaking with my sister I am the younger one.

From what I have been told my only responsibility is to maintain my sister's and our parents wishes regarding her care.
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That is fair. My older sister has EO dementia. Our parents are no longer in the picture and they were the primary caregiver for her. From what I understand I have POA for health and financial it is not in effect yet to my knowledge. Parents have set up a trust that is solely for her care and all expenses associated with her care, and a living expenses trust.

When I spoke with the lawyer he told I have no responsibilities currently since she capable of taking care of herself with supervision. He just handles the payroll of the aids that stay with her and the manager that assists with appointments. Our parents had money.

I am just confused, it seems like everything is taken care of and I am confused as to what exactly my role in all of this. My parents handled it privately, one of the wishes of our parents was to not place her for as long as she can afford private in home care. I do not understand any of the legality going on with this.

From what I can tell it is setup in such a way that I have final say when it comes to all care regarding her when it is in effect. My responsibilities if you can call them that are just being available for my sister from what I can tell. That has always been my role as it stands.
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AlvaDeer Jan 2022
Go to an attorney of your own. You need to understand what is happening. If your parents created a trust for your sister's care, and if they appointed a trustee to manage that trust then that is fine, and it is out of your control and not part of your duty. But you say you are financial POA. That means that you DO have a duty. POA and Trustee of Trust are two separate things. You need an attorney to inform you of this, and of what your duties are.
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For your parents to set this all up, is your sister also challenged in some way? Really, how nice that you parents set everything up so you did not have to physically care for your sister. Seems the lawyer has everything in order and under control. Your roll as her POA, as you say, is to make final decisions for her. Your POA is in effect because she has dementia now. I would think you have a right to know how everything is set up and to question anything you don't understand. I would like to meet the person who sees she gets to appts and her aides.

So, all you need to do, if you want to, is visit and I would. This way anyone involved in her care is aware there is someone watching over sister. Keeps them on their toes. I would think u have a right to ask your own lawyer to look over what the appointed lawyer has/is doing.

Count yourself very lucky that your parents did what they did. So many people are left with the responsibility of challenged siblings when the parents pass. The parents never set up anything expecting one of their children taking over the responsibilities.
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Nokonoko Jan 2022
No, she is not challenged in anyway besides the EO. We come from money, our parents went above behind in life and in death that we both taken care of no matter what.

I do know we are both extremely fortunate that this is our situation, majority are not. I visit her pretty much whenever I can, she is my hero. She has always had my back, not going to leave her in the dust. As my parents got older and I finished university I started to take more of the social aspects of my sisters care.
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Thanks for adding more info. I agree with the suggestion that you consult your own lawyer in this and get absolute clarity about your role and responsibilities, even if it’s in the future. And know that despite your parent’s planning they could not have foreseen all that may be to come, changes to their wishes may need to be made as things progress and that’s okay
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