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My grandparents are in their 90’s and still living at home. Grandmother has been in hospice care for a couple of months due to congestive heart failure, but she is still hanging on (for better or worse, in her mind)! My mom and aunt are providing 24-hour care and are barely hanging on at this point, but I know there has to be a better way - I’m just not sure where to begin. They really need in-home care, but say they (we) aren’t able to pay for it. My grandfather is a WWII veteran and I’m sure that must count for something! Where do I even begin figuring this out for them? What information do I need to gather from my mom and aunt and how do I get started? Hoping someone has some thoughts... my prayers go out to each of you because I can see firsthand how difficult it is to care for aging loved ones. Thank you in advance!

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Has anyone in your family contacted the local Area Agency on Aging? Or the local VA to inquire about what is available?
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BethanyK Feb 2020
I just learned about the AAA while browsing through articles here on Aging Care. I plan to reach out to them tomorrow - thank you!
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A WW II veteran may be eligible for 'Aid and Attendance Benefits'
if the vet served at least one day on active duty during a declared war. His wife would also qualify under spousal benefits. I believe it could be a large income for which you could pay in home care providers. The VFW and American Legion locally may have someone to help you apply at no cost. A fee or an attorney may not be necessary, so be cautious who helps you. You do not need to be low income to qualify, but there may be a maximum asset/income cap.

Others can elaborate or correct any errors.

But do contact the Area Agency on Aging and ask about this:
"AID & ATTENDANCE BENEFITS" for veterans.

Look for the document DD 214 among your grandfather's papers
or seek one from the veterans administration.
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BethanyK Feb 2020
Thank you so much - I will look into Aid & Attendance Benefits. Very helpful!
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Bethany,
You can look into Veterans Benefits right here under topics on this forum for more information.

Look under Care Topics, or enter Veterans Benefits in the search icon.

Will your mother and aunt give you permission (basically your grandparents) to look into your grandparent's benefits and finances? Does anyone have a POA?
If not, you will also be challenged by running into roadblocks, people dragging their feet, and other frustrations, but it can be done.

If you take on the role of an advocate for your grandparents, and learn and learn and learn, you will be a big help. It does help to have a bit of power (POA).

Glad is correct, you will need to know their finances.

Best wishes!
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BethanyK Feb 2020
Thank you! I plan to find all of this out this weekend. You guys have been very helpful so far - I wasn’t even sure what to ask, but you’ve given me some direction! Thank you!
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Bethany, just to clarify, your grandmother is in hospice (where? at home?) and your mom and aunt are caring for her 24-hrs a day? And your grandfather seems to need some sort of care but what are his cognitive and physical abilities and needs? More info will help you get specific answers from the forum.

Also, you probably will need to know the full details of their finances in order to know what kind of care, and for how long, they will be able to afford. Keep an open mind about AL or LTC since caregiving is very strenuous and you have 2 people needing it at the same time. Three people orbiting around 2 people is not wise because it probably won't be sustainable. Caregiving is often a marathon with no finish line visible, and flexibility is essential. Thank you for any more details you can offer.
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BethanyK Feb 2020
Thank you for this - I wasn’t even sure what to include in my original post.

My grandmother is in hospice care at home and the hospice nurse visits a couple of times a week. My mom and aunt are rotating 24-hour care. My grandfather is in generally good health (other than the fact that he is 95 years old). No major health issues being treated at this time from what I understand.

They’re both in very good cognitive health, but have some mobility issues - grandmother uses a walker and caregiver assistance to get around but grandfather is able to walk on his own.

It is definitely not sustainable. I live two hours away and work full-time, so I’m not there to help as often as I would like. My mom and aunt have been in charge of their care for years, but I don’t think they realized how difficult this would be toward the end and didn’t look into many options for support because they assumed they wouldn’t be able to afford it. I’m trying to step in now to research additional help.

These questions aren’t very helpful for me to pass along to them, so thank you very much! I plan to regroup with my mom this week to find out more details about their finances and what options they have already looked into.

Thank you!
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Questions about their finances are the main consideration in qualifying for any sort of benefit for in home care. Get at least a good idea before making the calls.
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BethanyK Feb 2020
Will do! I plan to get with my mom and aunt this weekend to find out details. Thank you so much!
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