I work full-time. Hubs is retired and has several health issues we're working on getting to the bottom of. We are optimistic he will be active again, but in the meantime, his mobility is very limited.
While I am at work, he keeps everything he may need in a day at arm's length. This includes his medications, as well as a variety of things for entertainment when he feels up to it (as there are better days and worse days). As a result, the space (the coffee table and surrounding area), is enormously cluttered.
Neither one of us is neat as a pin, never have been. But I'd like to improve the level of clutter he lives in. Partially for my own sanity, but I think he'd feel better and more positive if it wasn't such a nest.
I've already changed out the base of the coffee table to one that has a couple of drawers and shelves. But those are overflowing. I WILL say that I can probably cycle out some things he doesn't need access to anymore from the drawers, which should give at least a little space for his toys, so that will be first. I guess I could get one of those pill organizers for his meds, but he's resisting that. Any thoughts on a compromise there?
I'll be in and out with questions. I'm just glad I found this forum and am looking forward to some thoughts.
He surprised me! Not only did he say yeah - he's thanked me a gazillion times...he really likes it.
What the hell do wives know anyway, right?
I love the ideas. Naturally, things have already changed since my original post. I fear that this may be the new norm.
So - to my original post. Life inserted itself into any plans I may have made or not (as it is prone to do). I came up with COVID, which hit me hard. Then he did. Since he's diabetic along with a litany of other things I will eventually get to here, he instantly ran into complications that put him in the hospital.
No, truth is I put him in the hospital. He had a hypoglycemic seizure (a first), along with hypothermia and other issues. I was sick and weak as a kitten. He was terrified and beyond confused. He could not tell me what was going on.
Long story short, I have decided that I need him to help me help him. We need to have a conversation and I need outside help as well. I am almost fully recovered and returning to work tomorrow. He is home from the hospital and very sick. But he is responding to me and we will work towards that conversation.
In the meantime, while he was in the hospital and I was beginning to recover, I cleaned the area - removed his toys that will be taking a back seat at least for a moment. Put all the medication clutter in a large, flat, low basket (I work at a thrift store. We get 50% off the prices. SCORE!) that I can scoop up quickly if and when I need to. So the original problem has at least been addressed for the moment.
Onward to more pressing challenges.
Thanks again for all the ideas. Obviously, it helped.
I'm going to like it here. I wasn't smiling when I sat down at my computer, but I am now.
I/we WILL get through this.
And we're only in our 30's!
Just kidding. He's 66. I'm 64. We've only just begun! Lord help me if I live to be REALLY old.
“Motion furniture”, like you mentioned, with drawers or lift lids with storage inside helps.
sorting= 3 piles to separate things; Pitch, Donate, Keep/File properly.
While mobility is limited, set him up with supplies for organizing, whether it’s baskets, file folders and a label maker, or marker and tags, etc. to help get things organized.
put a rubbish bin next to him. Make sure you check it before throwing out the rubbish
a three tier trolly on casters similar to one you might see in the hairdresser are cheap to buy
Tote bags also work hiding things but keeping within his reach.
* Can he actually get up to out of reach?
* If his behavior more fear than actual need?
* Will be 'listen' to reason (your reasoning)
* Creating more drawers and areas to collect will likely mean he collects more to fill in the space(s)
* Is some of his behavior due to anxiety (and fear as mentioned) -
- Focus on his fears and anxiety.
- Talk to him more about his feelings
* Figure out what he ACTUALLY uses / 'needs' close by (sitting distance or arms length) when alone. If it isn't needed like medications, water, etc. move it away.
* I would suggest a combination of moving things away (when out of his sight of you doing so) and giving him the space and time to get his feelings out.
* Consider a volunteer, friend, visitor, church or hobby person to spend time with him.
Gena / Touch Matters - P.S. and welcome to our neighborhood. You will get a lot of support here although be aware that most people speak from their experience (which may not be yours or relevant), some are angry due to their issues and express that in inappropriate / unhelpful ways. Most people here mean well and will want to support people asking for support. Let us know how it goes - and what works. When you share with the rest of us what works, it will likely help someone else in the same / similar situation.
Also as someone who has bouts of time in bed I learned to use bins or baskets, bins now that I can store under the bed, one for cords and remotes, one for paperwork, one for personal care, one for medical…it sounds like you might be able to do something similar using the shelves and drawers you now have under the table. It allows for tossing things in but still having them somewhat organized and movable.
Im certain that every household has a few "junk drawers" (including mine!)
😊
Just thought of this.
If your husband is a Veteran the VA may have programs that can help.
Please contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission and see what help is available.
I got better results from Medicare Advantage civilian doctors.
I would , if you have not yet obtained one, a small refrigerator that will hold what he needs for the day. The top can be used as a side table if needed.
If he is taking a lot of pills a pill organizer might work, if he takes a lot maybe a small box with lots of compartments. (I got one for my grandson who has take to "collecting rocks" I got it where the tackle boxes are sold)
If he does not have a garbage can right by his chair or the couch get one, HE can toss stuff out that he is not using, task him with going through some of those drawers.
When I was caring for my Husband and I had caregivers coming in I got one of the inexpensive 3 or 4 drawer plastic units. I kept creams in 1 drawer, briefs in another. Made it real handy to have everything right there but it was out of sight and again, it is the perfect height that it can be used as a side table.
And maybe, just maybe until things get better having a caregiver come in 2 or 3 days a week to help you out, or at least a cleaning service 2 times a month is something that you can do to help YOU out. Tell hubby it is just temporary. (wink wink)