She stated her desire is for him to take care of investments since he does that anyway. and for me to take charge of the checkbook. pay bills etc.. I am not a very organized person and i think my bro will hold me to any thing i pay for that is not specifically related. Do I have to pass everything by him?/ does he also? He is "withholding" in the communication arena. not very cooperative. Should I make a list of expenses and pass it by him each time. .have him sign it? i'm worried that he may be setting a trap for me. should i give the poa over to him? he is probably executer on the will.. he doesn't live in state and has not participated much in her life until now.. I live in the state. He is a cpa and thinks he knows it all. I am an artist and he is sure i know nothing.
When my brother and I were tasked with selling our parents house he took care of the real estate end of things and I handled the renovation stuff. Then, years later with my dad, my brother handled the business end of my dad's nursing home and I handled the medical stuff. Any time any kind of moderate decision had to be made we made it together and we made sure the other was always caught up on what was going on. We spoke by phone several times a week but that was just our way. You can always email if your brother isn't communicative.
And vstefans had good suggestions on how to keep the checkbook.
Then you can ask your Mom if you can be the medical Power of Attorney, only if you feel comfortable on having this job, thus you make the decisions for her health when she is unable to do in the future.