All my mother does is sleep all day and night. Is this normal?

My 81 year old mother wakes up all hours of the night. She is just mobile enough to be a danger to herself. We need our sleep and can't get up multiple times a night. Any suggestions. We can't afford a sitter at night. We have one during the day.

To Nursebetty56
Does your Dad have a wheelchair?
I'm asking this because I made myself a little garden of herb in a elevated sandbox I recuperated from an old daycare. It's 3 feet high, and the box is 3'X3' and 10" high. It's made of oak and is beautiful. I spread a thick plastic at the bottom and sides not to destroy the wood. I added four 3" wheels. Wow! This garden rolls like a Cadillac. I don't know what I am going to do this winter though; it's on the porch.
Maybe your Dad would have fun with something like that. But maybe his gardening days are over.
My father could not care less about puzzles and this sort of things. He liked listening to the radio. However, I think old people get less and less interested in movies, radio, good programs on TV. They don't feel like they can make a difference anymore, I guess; so, they are less and less part of this world.
We live so long, don't you think? I mean we ALL live much longer; not only the ones who have the constitution of an ox. These ones didn't sleep all day; they were just still working. To the end, like a horse.
But now, our medication keep us going, and going, but not packed with "natural" energy; just enough to maintain the body working.
I don't know. Getting old is no longer working to the end, or being store in the corner. Old age has a status now: we're too many getting there! We see our parents getting very old in a very different way than the past generation. We didn't learn that. And it's not easy knowing what they want, what they think and what they feel. They don't say!
I would so much press my mother for answers, but all she really would like is that my husband and I come to live with her. And life would be like in her old days, with the baby in his playpen in the middle of the kitchen while busy mothers prepare the meal, do laundry and supervise homework of the older kids, around the kitchen table. "Mom", I tell her, "it can't be like that anymore. We have to run to the doctor at the tiniest discomfort. You could make a rosary with your pills. Nothing is simple anymore. We depend on specialist and professionals. I am one in my job and you need one for your needs."

My Dad also sleeps a lot during the day because he can't stay asleep at night (or so he says; I am sleeping, so I can't tell). My problem is that he lost part of his leg years ago and can't walk very well, so he can't do his main hobby which was gardening. His other hobby was watching t.v. I guess I could try puzzles, etc. but he never did that kind of thing before. I'm thinking maybe getting a caregiver who can get him talking and maybe stay awake longer. A big part of the problem is that he is getting old and can't do things anymore.

When my parents [in their 90's] visit me for a holiday, or like today Mother's Day, they will sit in front of the TV to watch golf and doze off.... then we will eat dinner.... after dinner they will go back to the TV to finish watching golf and doze off. In fact, I am glad they are napping so I can catch a few winks myself and not feel like I am being rude to my company ;)

Think about it, 90 some years is a long time.... they are tired.... they had a great busy life and deserve some shut eye. My parents still maintain their single family home, rake leaves, do the laundry, do the house cleaning, Dad fixes things, etc.... so when I find them asleep when I bring in the groceries, so be it.

Let's not over think this.

My mom is 94 and she too spends a lot of time in bed. She says "I feel good in bed!". She may have a mild dementia, that is memory problems, low interest, don't initiate much. She likes music but does not put any CD. Like Ruemando's mother, she would be much more active if she had her own personal trainer.
I tend to think "Fine! You like to be in bed; be in bed. I just want you to be happy." When I spend a week with her, I sew and do projects; she likes me to show her my progress regularly. She is a very nice mom. I love her so much.
I told her "playing cards between 7:00 and 9:00 pm is enough for me, OK?" She goes to a center 3 days /week from 9:00 to 3:00.
But those doctors pile guilt and worries on me when they claim that sleeping during the day will lead to weaker bones, poor balance, creating a bad cycle of inactivity both mentally and physically. When I tell her that, she says "I'm the one who is 94. I do what a 94 years old body can do."
What is the real problem here? Has being active become a must, the only way of living? Some people meditate and it's OK. Why can't old people enjoy taking it easy in bed? Why do we immediately fear depression?
What if our old parents were allowed to relax in bed, do a 5 minutes of stretching exercises before each meal and do as they please?
A contact with people every day, family visiting every Saturday and Sunday, and the rest, - well -, weaker bones and poor balance is what getting older and older do to our bodies. Are we supposed to die on the treadmill?
When I ask my mom, it goes nowhere. She just wants to be nice to me; discussing a point is no longer important for her. It's like all she wants is hearing our voices, smiling back, hugs. Between visits, she just waits for the next one. Time has a different meaning for her than for us. I have things to do, but she doesn't; I have energy, she doesn't. It seems to make all the difference in our respective world.

my 92 yo mother would start falling asleep in a chair as soon as 45 mins after breakfast..i would wake her all day long so she will sleep more at night instead of waking us at ungody hrs for breakfast…i sent her to a senior daycare from 8 -1 all last week…though i did catch her asleep in a chair there once its far better to get her out of the house if possible with people her age…its a loud hopping place with loads of activities..i am using her SS check to pay for it..i wish her check was bigger as whats left after covering her supplemental ins. will only be enough for 2 or 3 days a week..i sent her for the full week to see how she would do and she did just fine…and i had some alone time in my own home which i have sorely missed

My mom has lived with me for about 6 months now. Mild dementia and advanced rheumatoid. Wants to sleep all the time. Her doctor mentioned sleeping during the day will lead to weaker bones, poor balance, which creates a bad cycle of inactivity both mentally and physically. Here's one thing I noticed. When I take her out with me to run errands, eat lunch, visit her friends, etc. She's up all day no problem. It's like she needs a cruise ship activity coordinator to keep her active and engaged. It's difficult to be that person every day but it's clear to me, that if she's engaged, she can stay awake. If I leave her alone, she will tend to want to sleep.

My mom will be 94 in November. She is sleeping about 18 hours each day. She does only "fill-it-in" puzzles, watch old t.v. shows, eat breakfast, lunch, dinner. Her incontinence has increased over the past 6 months. She has mild dementia, and we have a caregiver come once each week to help me give her a good shower. She is generally disinterested in things. I don't know what else to do. When she was living in assisted care, she would eat breakfast in her room, go to the d.r. for other meals but then stayed in her room with curtains/blinds closed and just nap. I have found that she simply wants to sleep. Any ideas? Is this really okay?

My mother just moved in with me after being put out of assisted living due to being a fall risk. All she wants to do is sleep. It is very concerning. I am sure part of it is depression due to the change in living arrangements. I am going to call her dr Monday to see about getting her on an anti-depressant. Very disconcerting.

My MIL just got out of the hospital with a UTI and an enlarged kidney and kidney disease. She has lived with us for 10 years, is 94 with Alzheimers also. Up until about 6 months ago, she would do puzzles and watch her programs, but now all she wants to do is crawl into her bed and sleep. Before that, she would just sleep in her lazyboy chair. She is eating less and less. I am wondering if these are signs of end of life. She enjoys going to senior daycare 3x a week, but the nurse there says she sleeps a lot there too,

My husband sleep all day and night. He was getting up all night. But now he's not doing that. He's 77 this man want get up to eat. I'm thinking about putting him an nurse home for 3 weeks, just maybe that can get him moving againe

After reading these posts, I see my own situation over and over. My 91 year old mom has lived with me and my husband for two years. She was in independent living but she has normal pressure hydrocephalus and she has dementia and incontinence that seems to be getting worse. Until recently, I had a companion coming in Monday through Friday (I work full time) to keep my mom company, keep her cleaned up and take her outside (she can walk for a bit with her walker but then she rides in a wheelchair around the neighborhood. I give my mom breakfast before I leave for work, but for some reason, she is now going back to her room to take a nap after breakfast. I stopped paying to have the companion come because mom is mostly sleeping while she is here. Mom got quite upset about this because she really likes this woman but doesn't want to give up her nap so we can have her come again. Mom sleeps to 4 pm or so and then gets up and eats the sandwich I left on the table for her before I get home from work. Then, she too full for dinner. So, now I am back doing everything for mom again and it's wearing me out. She's not on Medicaid so there are not many services available to her. Plus I would have to take off work to have someone come, and quite honestly, most of those people are just not worth it. We had home PT after mom fractured her knee in a fall and I told them they had to be here at a specific time when her companion was here, but they came whenever they wanted to and towards the end, only stayed half the time they should have. My mom wants to die (refuses to take medication) and she has been so hateful to all of the family members that no one even calls or comes by anymore. Says she can't help herself. She's ugly to me and my husband too. She's mean and makes comments that are not even true. It's next to impossible to get her up and dressed for any outing or drs appointment. I have to take the whole day off. She can't read anymore because of poor vision and can't even work a simple tv remote without messing it up 50% of the time. I come home from work and she wants me to be her company. The companion did take mom to the senior center (another huge ordeal) but after going twice, mom refuses to go because it's depressing because there are a bunch of old people there. I don't know what to do about the sleeping all day. I'm at work so I can't stop her and even on the weekends when I try to keep her up, she just looks at me and heads to her bed. She also goes to bed early and then wakes up between 4 - 5 in the morning. I don't know what to do to get her to change her routine so that she can have company again.

I just found out my sister who is a Doctor has put my 91 year Mother, who was skyping with me last month on anti depressants. I went to see her last week. My sister is a Doctor as well as a pathological liar and maybe even a sociopath. She is basically nullifying my Mothers life. She only wants her money. She's a monster like a lot of other Doctors. Doctors think they are GOD and when they want to they reserve treatment, particularly if your on Medicare. They will string a patient along who has money. My older sister told me this am tht my Mother was bleeding from somewhere but they didn't know where. They won't bother to find out either. They are just letting her bleed out like a spring lamb with it's throat cut and my sister is a part of it. 91 is the new 80...there is absolutely nothing else wrong with my Mother. This is happening in a very conservative and far right state and city. It is frightening to think my own siter is apart of this deception and murder, but she is and there is nothing i can do about it. The very same thing happened to an older woman who used to live by me...she was 91 also and her kids were MD's also...they blatently told me she was bleeding out in her head and they were letting her go. I can't stomach it...it's murder to me. I'm telling u this so u r forwarned how the medical community is helping to decrease the poulation and they are the judges who lives and dies;who gets tests etc. Do you believe Bill Gates will be "let go" when he is 91 with a bleeder. Guess what, it's a simple procedure to fix. Older people have value!

Same here with my 94 years old. She says she's tired. She does not seem to have the energy to startan activity of her own. She's still very bright and when we play cards, she counts every body's point at speed light. She is no longer interested in the news, movies, reading. She goes to a elderly center 6 hres, 3X per week and she loves it. When the tall gentleman come to the door to watch her step up to the sidewalk for the bus, she clucks like a hen because she loves the attention. She needs so much attention! My sister says she's like a baby. She can't plan, can no longer make her suitcase. When we visit, she just wants to play cards. If we don't, she goes to bed. She seems to be on a stand-by and float in confusion. Next week, I am going to spend a week with her, and she is all excited. I love to be with her, but by herself, the curtains fall: no play. Is this a form of dementia?

My mom is 87. The only thing she ever really enjoyed was shopping, ordering clothing, eating out, which she did every day when she was on her own.
She now has dementia and since I cannot do those activities with her as often as she was used to doing them, she sleeps a lot. Those activities were kind of her life. That's what she loved. Plus she constantly talks of the past; does not live there mentally at all, cognizant that way, but talks of little else. She is very sociable and people-loving, but Grand kids don't want to hear the same stuff over and over and over; she can't follow a conversation of any other kind very well. Now she sleeps a lot because the things she really loved to do are no longer present as much. Other stuff doesn't hold her attention as well. I wake her up all the time and try to get her to do something because I think it is bad for them to sleep too much.

Does excessive sleeping I mean all day and night mean the elderly are close to death? My mom is 93 and cannot longer speak due to many tias. She only takes 81mg of asprin daily. Her BP has been avg about 150/70. Its rather high but she weighs only 80 lbs and is 4'6". The dr.s do not want to give her any real means to lower it because when we really lowered it she was really nonresponsive. So we keep it alittle high. She has been more alert with this BP. However, She has a swallowing problem. We are feeding her only pureed foods but can hardly wake her up to eat or drink. Last week she had a choking episode and aspirated but recovered quickly but we called 911 as well. She has a DNR with no intubations, per her wishes. went in with a flight fever 101 given Tylenol supp. and fever went down. as given Levaquin just in case of pneumonia from aspiration but her chest films were all neg. Thank GOd. I am her daughter and I have POA. I hired a caregiver to help me because I get very nervous. I don't want to lose my mom. And I KNOW she wants to live. I won't give up on her. The caregiver said if God wanted her it would have happen last week.. My mom would be alert for about 2 days in a row. then sleep deep the next day then the next day up and down with the sleep until the third day fully awake. It's like she recharges herself which I understood she's 93. She used to walk with me and the caretaker arm to arm but now I see she is getting weaker because she is not eating well anymore. So some questions to see is anyone can share their secrets on the following....
why do the elderly sleep all the time?
How to stimulate swallowing?
what are some food ways to get liquids down her to prevent dehydration
why would her BP be going up?
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

My 89 yr old Mom is very w/ it. But falls asleep whenever she sits down, be it home, church, other's homes ; even on the toilet! sometimes she does not remember sleeping 3-4 hour stretches in her recliner

I am going though the same problem with my Pt, This is a lady who was always ready to go she is now 99 years old all she do is sleep all day and night she tell me and everyone to leave her alone she is ready to go nothing work she also do not eat if she do in the evening no breakfast no lunch just sleep all day all night.

My 84 year old father is unable to walk due to a hip problem that he has yet to see a doctor about. He is worried that a doctor may force the issue. He lives on his own in his house. He used to be constantly falling down. But that has stopped since he started using a walking stick. Dad also falls asleep a lot...and looks very pale & sick...but he is only talking some very mild blood pressure tablets...

My mom is 88 y.o, she has alz, kidney failure,macular degeneration, is deaf and broke her hip 3 years ago and now can't walk. She sleeps all night and has extreme nightmares, see's people, and screams to me. She eats at the most 1/4 cup of food a day and sleeps most of the time. There is nothing that we have found that she can or will do. She can't hear so it's hard to have a conversation with her, she can't see, so TV, reading knitting etc are out. Forgets things from one sec to the next. We try to take her out for walks in her wheelchair and she refuses to go. If we go anywhere and she goes with us all we here is I want ot go home. So most of the time my husband stays home when I go shopping and I stay home when he goes out. We never get to go out together. We have not been capable of getting any help from any orginazation. They all refuse to help us. But I'm worried about her not eating or drinking and sleeping so much.

I feel so good right now. My mom got up at her usual time this morning 4:00 am to do the dishes but I did them for her so she can just fix her food. She made herself some Top Ramen noodles and some coffee. It is making me smile just to know that she is eating.

Well my mom is 85 years old with no health issues, only a little arthtis in her knees. She is blind from glaucoma but has learned to live with it. She is always so energetic and healthy but for the past month she has stop eating and has lost a tone of weight. She told me that she was having a full feeling and asked me to get her some medicine to help work her stomach. She no longer feels full but she is still not eating and is sleeping all day. She will eat like one meal a day and not a full meal maby a pice of fruit and drink some insure. I told her that is not good but she says she is trying to see if her appitite will come back slowly. I have to put the food in front of her to make her eat something. I told her it is not normal but she says she is not sick does not feel weak and dizzy nothing. I cry every minute cause this is not my mom at all, she always eats a full plate of dinner and now nothing at all. I am worried and made her an appointmet to see the doctor just for my satisfaction and they can tell me she is ok. Please keep us in prayer.

my mom sleeps at least a good 22 hrs a day,or lets say she's in her bed. T.V. lights on,dogs barking greatgranddaughter playing (5 yrs old),so she's not quite,there's alot going on. She was on xanax and zoloft as of two weeks ago,but i asked the doctor does she really need them. So were slowly coming off of them. So much has changed, we can get her change diaper, take shower,go to kitchen but it's getting harder everywhere you put her she tries to fall asleep. She doesn't really talk anymore.she just has a blank stair. I ask her name my name,let her know what;s going on in the world everyday. She was doing most of this stuff when she was on those med's. And she still living in her house,I go there 2 or 3 times a day while my daughter and son in law are at work. All I know is i get her kiss me everyday and i kiss her. And I remember the nice life she gave me. All you can do is love them. Take Care.

Sounds like narcolepsy - or however it's spelled. My father had this problem and also one of my professors at university. Except for the yelling. Neither my prof or my father yelled about it.

My Husband sleeps all night and most of all day. he can be sitting down at the dinner table and fall asleep he can be talking to someone and fall asleep. and scary yet he falls asleep driving. If I try and talk to him he yells at me. he also has diabetes 2 I am at my wits end. ,

My 78 year old Mom would rather sleep than do anythng else. She says she enjoys her dreams and is okay with sleeping 14 to 18 hours a day. Lately when she is awake she sits with her eyes closed or dozes off. She really can't go more than a couple of hours without laying down. I am very concerned and she has been to an assortment of doctors.Until 2009 she was one of the most active and busy people I knew. She was diagnoised with mild dementia and takes Aricept, otherwise she is very healthy. It's hard to watch such a vibrant active woman just stop living her life.

I do my best to keep her engaged in activities that she enjoys. When there is an event she wants to get up for such as church, doctors appt, bridge game, it's like pulling teeth to get her up and ready.

What else can I do? I'm afraid all this sleeping is going to lead to other health problems.

My 95 year old Mom sleeps so deep, I can't wake her in time for church or anything else. She feels bad when she misses church and surprised when I tell her what time it is. I'm not sure if I should wake her by force or just let her sleep untill she wakes up. Some people say she will get gas from not eating all those hours. I haven't noticed and she is not depressed at all but her day is just so irregular because of her sleeping. Should I be worried?

I have some good news, my brother emailed me, and they promise to come over more often once they buy a car. My brother and his other half just moved back home a little over 3 months ago. My brother has always loved mom. My sister however is totally ignoring my request for her and her family to visit mom. Her husband made a snide comment when they were here last, about Mom not being married. I guess they're still in the know it all stage. Anyway, thanks to this website, and you're feedback, I'm doing better! I'm going to take Mom to church tomorrow. I've joined a care giver support group and I hope I can form a mini group of other seniors who would like to get together on a regular basis, hopefully at my home or at a restaurant or something like that. It's really nice to know that I'm not alone in this situation, I'm sure glad I found this website. I love my Mom very much, and I'm going to let her know it.

I hope the counselor can help you. This is a very sad situation. Please let us know how things go, at least. My thoughts are with you and your mother.

I'm having the same problem with my Mom. I feel like she's dying of loneliness. She lives with me, but I work Mon thru Fri. My brother and sister live in the same community and they will not come to visit her or take her anywhere. What's worse, my sister lives a few blocks away from our house. Both my brother and sister work 12 hrs for 7 days, then they have 7 days off. Neither one is willing to stop by to spend time with Mom. My sister has 2 girls, whom my Mom hardly knows. I can't help but think that this is compounding my Mother's sleeping (and/or depression), and that what could be happening is she's dying from a broken heart. I have an appointment with a family care giver counsler next week, to help me form my words when I confront my siblings. Anybody out there with this problem? Anybody out there with any tips? Thank you in advance!