My 92 year old aunt went into the hospital a week ago after a fall. No broken bones, but pain from a bruised hip. The doctors have run a lot of tests and scans, got her electrolytes back in balance, and everything looks very good at this point.
She doesn't seem to have any interest in getting out of bed. She refuses physical therapy, refuses to get into a chair to eat meals. There's always an excuse, like the PT came at the wrong time or the nurses must be too busy to help her to the chair. She's soiled the bed a few times but seems to find it funny that someone else has to clean it up. Today she's said she won't leave the hospital for rehab unless the nurses comply with a long list of demands (not happening).
Has anyone else run into this? She's starting to drive me a little crazy because she's calling me every two hours to ask me to run an errand or complain about something but she is showing no interest in her own recovery.
Has a stroke been ruled out?
This is a significant change in her mental status. She's always been very independent, the kind of person who won't ask for help even if she could use it. She's gone from that to not wanting to do anything on her own. Maybe it's time for a geriatric psychiatrist since there doesn't seem to be that much wrong with her physically.
Don't underestimate how much bruising hurts, by the way. It is frustrating when people don't seem to be contributing to their own recovery, but put yourself in her shoes whenever you feel impatient with her.
What are her highly individual demands for rehab? Just wondering if they contain any clues about what's bothering her.
Could it be she is enjoying being able to make a call and you come running, pushes a button and her needs are met?
Maybe, just maybe she got very scared with the fall and instead of saying she doesn't feel comfortable or confident enough to try walking or to be independent, she is doing nothing so choices have to be made by others. Then if the facility isn't up to her desired standards she can blame others for her condition.
I can't imagine how it must feel to be a frail, weak (in comparison to her younger years) old lady living alone. If she watches the news she is fed fear by the minute. Now she feels safe, cared for and might be sleeping well in who knows how long. Just a couple of thoughts.
Can you request a chaplain visit and talk to them beforehand and ask if they would address her seeming desire to remain bedridden.
Unfortunately most people have a never gonna happen to me, it is always someone else attitude, until it's not and then we don't know what to do or how to move forward.
Help her understand her choices, she may be lonely and wanting a community around her.
Best of luck and please let us know how it goes. Take care of you with good boundaries during this transition and beyond, you don't want to train her that you will jump and run every time she calls.
There is a part of me that's wondering if she enjoys the attention. She's lost most of the people she was close to and her only child lives quite a distance away. On the other hand, she has a community of people she lives with in IL. She could leave her apartment to go to the store, get her mail, go to lectures, eat with others during the day. She was far less isolated there than she is in the hospital and now rehab.
I wonder if there was another fall, if there are things going on that she isn't telling people because she's afraid of going to AL.
The important thing, though, was that it also turned out she was riddled with cancer, and no one knew it. She'd had no particular symptoms because she wasn't in great health anyway. I thought that was really odd until this past autumn when my dad -- her son -- died of liver cancer after having no symptoms except fluid in his abdomen. (We did know he was sick, though, but he was diagnosed only six weeks before he died.)
Your aunt may have something else very wrong with her.
I just don't understand what happened to her. The fall was 2+ weeks before she went to the ER. She'd said she no longer had any pain from it. She'd had some gastro issues around that time as well, either a bug or food poisoning, but had seemed well recovered.
The hospital was not going to admit her, but did when I got there and told them that she was not herself. They never found anything aside from an electrolyte/sodium imbalance which they corrected. She started requesting rehab as soon as she was admitted - I think they would have discharged her straight to home if that was what she had wanted.
According to her, she gets to go home and they are going to give her services at her IL facility, covered by insurance. She told me that the people at rehab had talked to the people at IL and made arrangements for everything except the ride home.
According to the rehab, she's getting sent home because insurance isn't going to pay and the PT nurse thought she was doing great. That's it. No plans for PT or OT and they aren't in contact with the IL.
Her version is just so different. It's unsettling.