Hello, My grandma is 81 and whole her life she had some mental issues but never was treated ( she did not want to go to doctor about it). Now, her mental issues go worse due to age. She is very independent and want to run the household but she obviously can not do it very well. Due to her mental issue (I have no idea what kind it is, my guess is anxiety disorder) she makes our life hard. She yells without any good reason and creates distress and conflict all the time. She has a farm animal she takes care of, and she can not do it any more (too hard physically) but she refuses to sell it (actually she tried to sell it but at the last moment she changes her mind when the deal is about be closed due to mental issue she has). She fell few times during taking care of this animal. She obviously can not do it anymore but if someone try to sell it without her knoweledge, she will make a hell on the earth for that person and it would be huge stress for her. We changed a lot of care givers, and all of them say it is hard to deal with her. She is very toxic person, but from the other side sometimes probably when "craziness" goes away, she is like little child that needs a lot of love and she is so defenseless. She has terrible hygiene (does not take showers or washes her hands after taking poop after animals), refuses to go to doctors( unless it is really gets bad). I am too far away and it is hard for me to take care of her. I was thinking about taking her to nursing home but afraid that in her age it will be too hard on her to bring her there against her will. My brother is saying I will make things not better, and in case something will go not the way I want (I want her to be healthy and happy in nursing home) I'd be blamed and I'd be guilty for the rest of my life. But from other point I can not just look how she harms herself and she is very very skinny recently. Any advice how to deal with it? I feel so depressed because of it, My brother is the main caregiver (he trying to avoid her as much as he can although they live in the same house,and he can not deal with her, like to make her eat or take meds, or take shower because she is very stubborn). She has bad influence on people around (bad vibes) and my brother is constantly depressed and feels guilty. Please, advice what to do! I really hope for help from psychiatrist or someone who had kind of same situation. Thank you!
Where are your parents in all this? Why is her care up to you grandchildren? Does your brother work? Is GrandMa able to safely stay alone?
Sorry for questions instead of answers, but the answers can be more helpful if we understand the background.