One of four sisters in law on my husband's side of the family is 3 years into an Alzheimer's diagnosis. Are siblings financially responsible?
Her husband is not the most well man and was recently found to have PAD, an Aneurysm and is on Plavix for the Peripheral Artery Disease. He is still employed in his father's auto paint business, but his father is in his 90s and wants to retire soon, of course. They have 3 adult children, living on their own with their own children. The husband also worked for over 40 years for a grocery store chain. Recently I asked him if he had a pension in place from that company. He said "I was supposed to receive $600 a month from that company, but I lost that document and just signed a notarized document to claim $200 a month." That equates to a $4,800 yearly loss. So my husband comes to me today and says "What happens if Marty (the husband) dies? We (all of my sister in law's siblings) are responsible financially for Cathy's (sister in law with Alzheimer's) care." I responded "No, WE siblings are not financially responsible, but that her 3 children are." If a person hasn't planned for illnesses OR put in place a Long Term Care policy for their own health, why would it divert to the siblings of said ill person? So my question to the forum is - Are the siblings of an ill sister financially responsible/asked to hand over considerable sums of money just because the ill sister has not planned for this? Thank you in advance.
Once when my in-laws were falling apart physically and financially because they were irresponsible their entire lives together, my MIL complained to me one day that "This isn't the retirement I thought I'd have..." to which I pointed out that it was the retirement that they had planned for. Sorry, but not sorry.
If SIL needs more care than her family is willing or financially able to do, there is Medicaid if she has no money for an AL.
If you are approached by her family to help with financial support, just say that sorry, we don't have the money.
If I had mega bucks I would help because it’s a nice thing to do, if it caused a financial strain for me then I wouldn’t do it.
Morally? depends on your belief system and culture/
As for siblings, I don't believe there are any legal requirements to help out, only moral and financial ability to help out. If SIL is that desperate, they should apply for Medicaid.
And don't be so harsh about people 'who don't plan' for illness. Some did the best they could, on day to day living, with what they had. If it comes down to a sibling getting certain care/help or not getting it, do what you can to assist. Don't do it with a grudge or putting your husband between a rock and a hard place where you and his sister are concerned. Do what you can.
I don't think even the children can be legally held responsible. *However* - the state and whatever companies are involved, Will try to collect from the family.
We were most fortunate that my father had adequate income to pay for a mobile home placed in my front yard when he was no longer able to take care of himself in his home.
My sisters and I would have assisted him financially because we wanted to - but it was much better that he was financially self-sufficient. I would have lied to him had we needed to help him, but it was much better that he didn't have to call on his daughters. It allowed him to feel like a man; not like a burden on his children. And No, we never thought of my father as a burden. I was thankful that I was able to assist him the way I did.
what should these people do..?
SIL lives in. I would recommend seeking legal advice, not relying on comments posted here. This applies to any others with questions about this kind of issue, as in SOME states the law allows for seeking recompense (some even can bring criminal as well as civil charges) from *other* relatives AND it depends on what state the person's facility is located in (I found a recent case that refers to PA going after and winning a case against NJ parents of a child in a PA facility.)
For reference, you can see more detail in my reply to bluefinspirit's post dated Dec 9, which also points to the Wikipedia page. But, for REAL advice on issues like this, seek legal counsel. We may feel it isn't our responsibility, but what we feel and what the laws say (or how they are enforced) are not the same.
If BIL has concerns about his ability to pay or what will happen if he pre-deceases his spouse, he needs to see an EC attorney and have provisions set up NOW.
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