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I am an orphan elder. As an only child of an only child I have no nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins from my mother’s side of the family. Have been estranged from only living relatives (on fathers side) which are cousins since I was 7 through no fault of my own. I am 62, with no children of my own. Essentially I am an orphan. Does anyone here identify with this? Trying to figure out strategies of care for myself as I age. The other issue is I have outlived all my friends except 1 who is only 2 years younger than me and not in good health. Would appreciate comments/advice from any who find themselves in this position. Am I the only one?

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I'm the youngest of 3 and have always been mother hen to - everyone. Although I have a host of spiritual brothers, sisters, and children who will always be there for me, I see the need to put things in writing, too.

If you search the term "orphan elder" you'll find many resources. One of my sisters had a business providing money management, long-term care planning, and care coordination for the elderly or disabled who had no support or whose family lived far away. She partnered with geriatric care managers, lawyers, case managers, and healthcare workers - a comprehensive coordination of care. I'm sure there are others like that out there.

She was certified through the Society of Certified Senior Advisors (csa.us) which has a resource directory you may find useful. And searching on the phrase "orphan elder" will yield a few resources as well.

"The shrewd person sees the danger and conceals himself," says an ancient proverb. When editing my sister's website, the statistics showing that the vast majority realize they need to have a support system in place but a very small percentage actually work to get it done were eye-opening. So KUDOS to you for looking into a support system while you're still able to manage for yourself!
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Sharing a sisterly hug and tears. I am 57. Only child. Never married, never had children. My father passed when I was 19 and I have no idea where that side of the family is. We all broke contact. I tried Facebook, etc. My mother is close to 89, I am not doing a good job of caring for her, she could never be poa to me, and I am not close to her family. I will be alone, barring a miracle. I already feel totally alone right now. I read the fiduciary answer below and am thinking about it for me, but it's the basics of roof over head and food in mouth right now. I don't qualify for social security yet and my health is such in a perfect world I could stop working.
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I think that many of us eventually have only ourselves. My children live across the states. I would not want to impose on them for care in any way.
You should seek out a consult with a licensed Fiduciary. When you make out your papers for your POA that would be the person to take over when/if you are unable and to manage things for your care. You would leave whatever money may be left in your estate to whatever charity you wish to name. When you see the lawyer ask for his or her recommend on a fiduciary to contact when it is time to do so. They work closely with them as the court often steps in to manage guardianship by the state of elders without family and they work with licensed fiduciaries. I have made good friends with the one who now manages the estate of my brother's ex, something my bro did before his death. They do a great job at best. Wishing you good luck. Save as hard as you can to make certain you will get the care you wish to have when you cannot remain in your own home. Become familiar with Assisted Living facilities in your area even if as a volunteer.
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marydys Jun 2021
I have a similar question to this. I do have a stepdaughter who is my POA but since she is "just a step" and also has her mother and mother in law and father in law to worry about, I really don't want to add to her burden outside of the financial side of things. What I am hoping to find is a care manager... like a retired nurse or someone like that who can accompany me to doctor appointments and help hire and deal with home help care agencies and take the "care" side off her shoulders. I have no idea where I've heard of care managers and have no idea how to find one. Has anyone heard of this sort of job?
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