I have been sick for over nine months and the doctors cannot get a diagnosis. I had a second bone marrow biopsy this week. While the procedure was being done my honey stayed home with our daughter and husband. We've always gone together and he couldn't understand that two people couldn't wait for the procedure as it took from 4.5 hours. At home he put his head down and cried in his hands over and over.
He's not able to identify objects and it's difficult for him to do anything. I'm in a wheelchair and have successfully been able to take care of him. I do have someone to come every two weeks for cleaning the house. I had the doctor check for UTI but it was okay. I purposely haven't told anyone yet except on this forum. I believe they might come for a short time only to be called back later.
I was encouraged today by reading an inspirational devotion "My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart." As each of you travel down this road of dementia with your loved one or you are a caregiver - may you continue forward. Thank you for your patience and devotion to our loved ones. May God strengthen each one.
I am uncertain why the doctor chose hospice. You do not say your husband is expected to have no more than six months to live, nor that you and he would refuse treatment for illness. That is the mandate of hospice. Sometimes MDs will order it and kind of "fudge" the diagnosis so they can get extra help. Is that what they have done.
It is, if extra help is honestly the goal here, crucial to be somewhat honest about that. You don't want a situation where your husband is overmedicated. While hospice is wonderful, wonderful, wonderful in my opinion, their vocation is to RELIEVE pain and distress even if that relief may hasten death. That isn't a situation you may want now.
So honesty is the best answer, and you need to be in on the interview as your husband depends on you as his health care advocate.
I am so very sorry about your own situation and I hope your tests have a good outcome. If they do not I hope you will consider that you may not continue to care for your husband without his placement or without a good deal of inhome help, as hospice doesn't give much. Several baths a week, the support of speaking with clergy, with social worker, with nursing, but not a lot of help in the home.
My heart goes out to you, thoughts and best wishes with you as you face down this trial.
This step, while handled by her Hospice, is not for the "death is coming in six months" category. It just means that we have asked for no life-prolonging treatments.
It gets us a Doctor who pays close attention to my mother, a nurse that visits her once a week, and a bath aide who gives her a shower, changes her bed linen, and treats my mother like gold.
Perhaps this is the level of care that your husband may need.
Hospice can tell you what kinds of services that your husband qualifies for at this stage.
Best wishes to you!
What hospice does not do is NOT treat what ails him. The goal is comfort, so if he had a UTI, they'd treat it. (My mother developed gout from drinking Ensure, and that was treated and she also received daily wound care.) If he had cancer and wanted chemo or broke a hip and needed surgery, then he'd have to go off hospice to be treated because that's a whole other thing. Hospice is largely about staying out of hospitals.
The doctor's recommendation for hospice might have been done to make things easier on you until you get your own health issues sorted out.
Wishing you the best of luck with all that you have on your plate right now. God bless you.
Can you maybe place him in an AL or MC until you are doing better? The stress caring for him may slow your progress down.