My mom is now living with my husband and I with the assistance of hospice. I believe she is in the preacitve death stage and I don't know to say to her when she talks about dying? She is not afraid to die but is frightened. I've discussed her seeing my dad again, meeting her maker etc, but anyone have any words of real comfort.
Of all the things that we are taught in life, dying seems to be the most taboo subject. So many people have a hard time being around someone who is dying - because it seems too "scary." That is why so many of us have the fear of dying alone - or wondering if there is something after this life.
If your Mom has been a member of a church, it would be wonderful if her clergy person could visit - or perhaps members of her church. If not, I would let her talk and be a good listener. None of us have the answers. Ask her to look down on you and her family in the next life - to protect you and pray for you. There are so many stories of family membres who have passed, who send signs to their loved ones on earth. That may comfort her too.
Also, I would also talk to her about "everyday" things that are going on. Funny stories about a child, a pet, etc. - things that focus her away from the fear.
Bless you and your Mom and your family...there is no "roadmap" for this stage in life...we all struggle with it.
Lilli
Sorry to hear about your mom. I just lost my mother Friday Oct. 1. I think she to was a little scared to die . But for her it was because she was in the hospital. Once I found out there was nothing they could do I told them I wanted her to come home on hospice where she could die in piece. They tol me she would probably live maybe a week. When I finally got her home Friday night I told her I loved her and would miss her very much, if she was ready to go be with my father it was ok and that I would be ok. Thirthy min. later she passed I was able to be there holding her hand and I felt when her sprit left her body. She went very peacefully. So I guess what I am trying to say is just let her know it is ok to go if she is ready, and that you will be ok. I hope this helps.
so sad to watch mom passin away in front of our eyes , then it hit me ! i dont have a mom anymore ! hate it ,,,
i will keep my dad home as long as the lord s willin . it is hard work but its well worth it ! he s only parent i have left and im going to cherrish it as long as i can .
olivia , im sorry for ur loss . xoxoxo
What would bother me in dying would be fears about the process. Will I be in pain? Will my family be all right without me? Did I waste my life, or did I have fun and spread love and joy?
The advice to LISTEN and ask questions seems the best to me. You don't need to take her fear away but to help her explore her fear and live with it. Hospice has chaplains who have tons of experience with the dying, probably more than her own pastor does. They can give you guidance.
God bless you both. (I have never claimed to be a consistent atheist.)
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