I was alerted today by the SNF that my Mom is starting to show signs of declining. Previously, she was fairly independent, could transfer herself in and out of bed and to the bathroom. Would socialize daily. After a bout with the flu and her recovery, she returned from isolation and has been moody. Stays in bed constantly. No longer willing to move herself without staff help. She's still eating fine. She has refused bloodwork (says needles hurt so she won't accept it), is diabetic and now I was alerted that she does not cooperate with the Psychiatrist. So they can't figure out what's going on with her and they can't force her of course. SNF wants to try anti-depressants and are monitoring her. I've tried calling and coaxing her. Tried to lift her spirits with my support and love but while she likes to hear from me, is stubborn on all decisions and issues regarding her health care. At a loss on what to do next for her.
I do have an update on this. I posted this prematurely as more drama ensued as the day wore on!
A few hours after I posted this, I was alerted that my Mom suddenly left her room, wheeled herself to a staff person's office and berated them LOUDLY. I know this staff person well and they're constantly sending me updates on Mom's condition and I haven't witnessed nor heard of any foul play at this SNF. Mom just doesn't like this person. Plain and simple.
Now, as I mentioned, Mom has stopped going to the bathroom on her own. She has been, without using her call-button, urinating in her bed. Staff will find her when they make their rounds and have to clean her up. I can't believe it.
I have asked for her to be checked for UTI but I have another concern....
I wonder if she's deliberately acting out in hopes to be "kicked out" of SNF? I know she legally can't be forced out but I'm at my wits end!
Everyone is trying to just see to her care but dementia appears to setting in and she's becoming more vocal and irritated. I asked if the Psychiatrist has seen her and the psych said that Mom won't cooperate.
Anyway, I'm not sure what other solutions there could be. I'm going to wait for further updates.
I'm a bit confused about her non-cooperation. Are you heathcare poa? If the decisions she's making are not in her best interest, do you have the authority to authorize a blood test? Have her taken to the ER in an emergency? Authorize the use if antidepressants or other meds?
I appreciate this site, because I'm reminded once again what can happen with a UTI. So I will request that the NP that visits the care home will arrange for that.
Thank you so much!
And essomd, I'm really hoping that you find an answer soon! I understand your frustration and the feeling of being at your wit's end! Take care!
In one word, maybe she's angry because she's scared of how she felt; perhaps you could try to reassure her that all the weakness and confusion comes from the flue, and that is normal, and that even young people feel the same after a bad flue, and that she'll be herself again soon...
Don't know, this seems to have worked with my mother who was "deciding" as well if life was worth fighting for.
I hope your mom will feel better soon.