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Ideastotry, when was the last time your Mom has flown anywhere? If it has been quite a while, she will be surprised that there will be long lines everywhere due to security checkpoints, and you yourself are not allowed to wait with her in the waiting area gate. Same with return flight, you cannot wait for her at the gate.
Mom will also need to check to see if her medical insurance will cover any illnesses or injuries overseas. You could use a "therapeutic fib" saying her health insurance is only good here in the States. Sometimes such a fib will make an elder change their minds. It worked for my parents on other matters.
First question would be, does your mom suffer from dementia or Alzheimer’s? If that is not the case and you’re referring to general physical decline/age related decline, I would suggest that you negotiated with her. Meaning, explain to her lovingly that you and your siblings will be extremely worried because she will be at risk of having health problems while alone and in a foreign location, and that if she’s nor willing to change plans at least she should allow you to get her an insurance that covers her while overseas. It will save you a lot of headache and it is temporary. It’ll be an investment in your peace of mind.
Remember that as long as she doesn’t suffer from dementia or Alzheimer’s, she has the absolute right to decide what to do or not to do...having said that, you’ve the absolute right as her child to try to protect her as much as possible, and that I’m afraid largely depends on your negotiating abilities!
I do not know what her health issues are. If mobility is a problem, US airports provide wheelchairs and pushers for anyone who requests one (especially in advance).
I am not sure about non-US airports. If you know which airports she will be using, perhaps check out their accommodations, and what is required for her to get a wheelchair, or other suitable support.
Hopefully, she can be persuaded to request available (and appropriate) services.
More info on her specific health issues would help us to better help you.
Since when is a parent under any obligation to respect the wishes of her children? Where's your respect for her wish to please herself?
I realise it will sound as if I have no sympathy for your concern. Believe me, I really have. I am not a natural traveller myself, but my mother most certainly was. I quote from a conversation I had with a diplomat friend:
Self (after several minutes' wringing my hands about mother's heart disease and osteoarthritis): and she always comes back in pain and shattered. D: Where's she going this time? Self: Madagascar. She wants to see the lemurs. D: Er - there's a war on. Tell her she can't go. Self: *You* tell her.
Her last major trip was to India. She slipped in the shower the day after she got to the safari lodge and broke her collar bone. It was the beginning of the end. Her last unaccompanied trip was a short cruise in the Med, sold to her by me on the grounds that it was travel but it was safe and with plenty of help at hand. She hated every moment of it.
And that's the point, really. Your mother is living her life. Once she stops living it as she wants to, her life will begin to diminish. What do you have to set against that as a reason for her stopping meekly at home in obedience to your wishes?
She needs to get good insurance. She needs to plan properly and pack properly. Where's she going, who's she staying with, what are the travel arrangements?
Why the trip? and why now? is there family or a support system to help her if need be?
Does she write & speak the language? Like if it’s Cyrillic, and she’s not at all fluent both verbal and written...... so she only speaks English or maybe English and other Romance languages, OMG this is going to be such a clusterF it’s its Cyrillic. Ditto for Arabic, although there will be likely dual Arabic and English or triple Arabic/English/ Japanese on signage in most tourists areas in my experience; and hotel staff multilingual.
But Slavic Cyrillic countries, don’t seem to do that or really care to. Borat’s “make benefit glorious great nation of whateverstan” is spot on accurate.
If a wheelchair is needed, best this is said when getting tickets. Can Mom walk a distance? Because sometimes those gates are far away. I think some Airports will now allow people to wait with a person at the gate. They also have a service where an elder is watched over like a child traveling alone is. Maybe you will just have to compromise.
It sound like your parent is marking things off their bucket list. If it is not mental health problems then you can be proactive by signing him/her up the the State program letting them know she is traveling to a particular country. Add bread crumbs type app to her cell phone so when she turns it on you are tracking her location. Call her carrier and get the international plan and call her the same time each night and talk for 3 minutes. Ask your carrier for the same plan. Ask her to sign up with tours that speak her language and are reputable. Pack her a second cell phone like tracfone, in case she lose the first one. Program her numbers in them. Make sure she has oversee medical coverage and insurance and then tell her to have a great time. She needs your support and confidence. There really is no safe place in this world from danger or harm, whether it is in the home or on the street we are always concerned for the safety of our loved ones. Be well.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
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I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Mom will also need to check to see if her medical insurance will cover any illnesses or injuries overseas. You could use a "therapeutic fib" saying her health insurance is only good here in the States. Sometimes such a fib will make an elder change their minds. It worked for my parents on other matters.
Remember that as long as she doesn’t suffer from dementia or Alzheimer’s, she has the absolute right to decide what to do or not to do...having said that, you’ve the absolute right as her child to try to protect her as much as possible, and that I’m afraid largely depends on your negotiating abilities!
Best of luck Ideas!
I am not sure about non-US airports. If you know which airports she will be using, perhaps check out their accommodations, and what is required for her to get a wheelchair, or other suitable support.
Hopefully, she can be persuaded to request available (and appropriate) services.
More info on her specific health issues would help us to better help you.
Since when is a parent under any obligation to respect the wishes of her children? Where's your respect for her wish to please herself?
I realise it will sound as if I have no sympathy for your concern. Believe me, I really have. I am not a natural traveller myself, but my mother most certainly was. I quote from a conversation I had with a diplomat friend:
Self (after several minutes' wringing my hands about mother's heart disease and osteoarthritis): and she always comes back in pain and shattered.
D: Where's she going this time?
Self: Madagascar. She wants to see the lemurs.
D: Er - there's a war on. Tell her she can't go.
Self: *You* tell her.
Her last major trip was to India. She slipped in the shower the day after she got to the safari lodge and broke her collar bone. It was the beginning of the end. Her last unaccompanied trip was a short cruise in the Med, sold to her by me on the grounds that it was travel but it was safe and with plenty of help at hand. She hated every moment of it.
And that's the point, really. Your mother is living her life. Once she stops living it as she wants to, her life will begin to diminish. What do you have to set against that as a reason for her stopping meekly at home in obedience to your wishes?
She needs to get good insurance. She needs to plan properly and pack properly. Where's she going, who's she staying with, what are the travel arrangements?
and why now?
is there family or a support system to help her if need be?
Does she write & speak the language? Like if it’s Cyrillic, and she’s not at all fluent both verbal and written...... so she only speaks English or maybe English and other Romance languages, OMG this is going to be such a clusterF it’s its Cyrillic.
Ditto for Arabic, although there will be likely dual Arabic and English or triple Arabic/English/ Japanese on signage in most tourists areas in my experience; and hotel staff multilingual.
But Slavic Cyrillic countries, don’t seem to do that or really care to.
Borat’s “make benefit glorious great nation of whateverstan” is spot on accurate.
She is a grown woman with more life experience than you, support her wishes and encourage her to check in occasionally.