Follow
Share

I pay bills, make Dr appts, make decisions etc. about everything with their permission but I need legal permission. My mom always took care of everything, she has dementia. My dad can’t make decisions he can’t read or really understand like my mom. I don’t want to do everything at the last min.
They don’t have the money to hire an Atty. I don’t work cause I take care of my parents I live with them and have been for many yrs I quit my job to take care of them do to my parents didn’t want anybody else to take care of them or anybody in their house. I’m getting worried. My mom still remembers a lot of things so I want to get this done before she can’t. Please give me advise on where to start. I have no clue.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
You will not be able to get POAs because your parents are not competent enough to assign them. Same with a Will, not competent to make out one. There is legal aide that maybe able to help.

You have gotten yourself between a rock and a hard place. You need to start thinking of yourself. Finding help for your parents so you can go back to work. I would start with in home Medicaid. There is an income requirement but if ur parents can't afford an attorney than they may qualify. You maybe able to get enough help to get a job. Call your Office of Aging to see what resources they can provide.

You need to look towards the future. When ur parents pass their income goes with them.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Lolarod, you say they don't have money for a lawyer, and that they are paying you for their care. I'm hoping you have a written contract and not paying you in cash, as this will very likely prevent them from qualifying for Medicaid if/when they need it (and many who thought they had enough saved up wind up needing it). IMHO it is worth the $200-$300 investment for a consult with an elder law attorney who specializes in estate planning and has experience with Medicaid qualification. You may need to unwind a possible financial tangle if there hasn't been a clear separation between their funds/assets and yours. I wish you all the best in figuring things out! (FYI I sent you a private message so please check your profile page and scroll down to see it).
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
JoAnn29 Jul 2020
Her profile says she would like to find a way to get paid.
(0)
Report
If there is no money, then there is little to worry about. If you cannot afford 350.00 for the hour of an Elder Law Attorney, then there is certainly no need whatsoever to worry about any will, as there won't be 350.00 to leave anyone. So there is that. Now you say you don't want to leave this to the last minute. I am afraid the last minute was back down the road. When your parents passed into the level of not being able to understand any of this, then you already went way past the last minute. Now you are left where you are left.
Do your parents have a doctor? Has that Doctor done enough care of them to write you a letter that your parents are unable to function to handle their accounts, bills, and etc? If so you may be able to become Representative Payee with a visit with that letter to Social Security. You can go to their site and read about becoming this. Covid-19 will put this off until things reopen. But you can start with the doctor. If the doctor says that your Dad is NOT demented enough for this letter, then you and Dad can go to the bank and you can be added to their checking account. Be METICULOUS with your record keeping if this happens. Write down in a diary and on a ledger every penny of theirs that comes in and every penny that goes on. If one or both your parents require placement then they will be on medicaid which will ask for a 5 year lookback of all their money. You cannot meld your money and theirs. (California has only a 2 year lookback; I don't know where you live).
Basically you have waited too long. I cannot tell you how much you need the advise of an Elder Law Attorney. If your parents already get any help or you know a Senior Center in a nearby larger town you can sometimes ask to legal aid. Call around. Ask anyone you can think of how to get a reasonable fee. Call lawyers in your town and tell them what you told us.
I wish you luck. You have put off researching all this, and as I said, the last minute occurred hours ago. You are left now with doing the best you can. Get all the advice you can get. Visit clergy, doctor, anyone you can. I am assuming you are not even the person designated for medical decisions, which makes this doubly bad.
At some point one of them will be hospitalized and likely need placement and that is the time to get a social worker in the corner and get all the answers you can. It is literally their job to know what to do about the questions you ask. Wishing you so much luck.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Isthisrealyreal Jul 2020
Just so you know, Social Security is doing things via phone and USPS mail. So any in person appointments are being handled this way and I am personally impressed by how efficient they are right now. I have not had long hold times when calling and they processed the requests for my mom in a matter of days vs. weeks.

This is a great time to deal with them while everyone else thinks they are shut down.
(2)
Report
First questions to be answered in terms of a will are whether or not your parents have assets: house, car, stocks, bonds, or other assets. If they have no financial assets such as stocks, but do have a house and nonfinancial assets, how are they titled?

If they're titled jointly with rights to the survivor, you don't need a will as title will pass automatically to the spouse who inherits, but that raises another issue in terms of heirs, and getting documents in place now. Your parents need to decide who inherits what they have, whether or not they want to retitle now . Next issue is whether or not they still have mental capacity to do so.

The goal is that once either dies, assets pass to the remaining spouse, or child, or whoever they want, outside of Probate.

Living wills or advanced directives are a different story, and should be created ASAP so that their end of life wishes and desires in the event of incapacity are addressed now.

These are best prepared by attorneys specializing in this field, in either an estate planning or elder law practice. Forms are available, but unless you're experienced in deciphering legalese, it's not wise to attempt this on your own.

If there are senior centers in your locale, check with them to see if they have free advice; many have visiting attorneys who offer nominal advice, but it could provide some guidance to help you make a selection for the end of life medical issues.

Elected reps used to represent themselves at senior expos and hand out very good guidebooks, with references to businesses which provided services for seniors. I doubt any expos will be had until there's a reliable vaccine for the CV, but reps may still have piles of these types of information, so start contacting your reps to see what senior directories might be available.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

https://www.payingforseniorcare.com/paid-caregiver/texas#:~:text=Texas%20Medicaid%20Programs,-STAR%2BPLUS%20Waiver&text=A%20waiver%20is%20a%20Medicaid,not%20live%20in%20nursing%20homes.&text=The%20state%20Medicaid%20program%20then,as%20%E2%80%9Cconsumer%20directed%20care%E2%80%9D.

This is a link to the Medicaid waiver program in Texas. There is probably a waiting list.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter