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Thanks for all the responses to my original post, made approximately one year ago. Over the past year, mother in law has made multiple accusations that my wife is stealing from her - small household items, food out of her refrigerator, and of course, money. Mother in law has no fundamental trust in my wife or any of her children (all estranged from the mother in law). So.. mother in law has sold her "stealing" narrative to her brother, who believes her and is a bullying, vindictive personality who just throws gasoline on the situation, adding no positive support at all. THEREFORE, my wife has walked away from her caregiver duties and has provided all local support information to mother in law's brother who lives in NEW JERSEY (we're in Nevada). So here is my fundamental question- SHOULD WE REPORT MOTHER IN LAW AS A CASE TO ADULT PROTECTIVE SERVICES ? We realize that we cannot force mother in law to do anything (get weekly support) without documentation. However, I am sick and tired of mother in law accusations that my wife is stealing. I wonder if this reporting might better document the situation and protect us against any bullcrap accusations and a bullying vindictive brother... thanks for any insight and thanks again for all your previous responses, which I have reread dozens of times.... dmy

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Who has PoA for MIL?
Has MIL ever had a medical diagnosis of dementia or memory impairment?
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Your first responsibility is to your wife and children if any then to your mother.
Since your mother is in Independent Living you can minimize contact and let her do what she can for herself. Most IL communities provide transportation so your mom does not have to drive. If her driving is dangerous to others then “fix it” so her car is not operational and has to go to the shop for service.
If your mom needs more help than what she can get in IL then a move to Assisted Living sounds like the next move.
If I have misread your post and profile and mom is living with you I strongly suggest a move to Assisted Living and minimize contact.
The other option would be to move mom closer to your uncle and let him care for her. If that is not possible I would ignore all calls from her brother if you have to block his number.
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Yes, by all means contact APS and ask their advice first of all. They'll be able to guide you best about whether and what you need to report.
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POA - my wifes sister in Texas had POA that was done in Illinois. She is in the process of revoking the POA since she also has become estranged from mother in law.

MIL has her own apartment. No way would we let her live with us.
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